"Wanky Things In Wonderful Games" or "God Damned 100% Completion Rate"

Seil · 10-11-2011, 12:07 PM

Now, like all of us, I appreciate a good wank. Not, however, when it's in my games. I mean, we've got brilliant games like Psychonauts, Silent Hill and Thief! Yet all of them are marred by one or two flaws.

Now don't get me wrong, Thief 1, Silent Hill 1 and Psychonauts are all great, wonderful, fantastic and rad... But there's just something that keeps them from perfection. In Silent Hill 1, it's the control scheme. I downloaded Silent Hill 1 over the PSN, after playing (and buying) nearly all the other games in the series, and all of them had 3D control. SH1, however, did not. It is extremely difficult to run away from the monsters when you can't actually run.

Thief 1 had that fetch quest mission for a ghost. I know that most games have a fetch quest hidden somewhere in them, but this was frustrating to me as it's on a trademark Thief huge map, with strong enemies in linear corridors that you couldn't really sneak by.

Psychonauts had the collectibles. I recently bought Psychonauts from Steam - my PS2 is dying on me - and it's every bit as great as I remember it... And just as frustrating. You've got several 'levels,' what with several collectibles, numbering in the hundreds for each level. From emotional baggage to figments to cobwebs to whatever - and if you're going for one hundred percent, and you're missing one figment, you've gotta go through the entire level. (And it's a figment! A semi-transparent scribble that in levels like Mias and Edgars are nearly impossible to see!)

These don't make the game horrible. The games are nothing short of brilliant. But they are very wanky bits. And sometimes I don't enjoy being jerked around.

Mr.Bookworm · 10-11-2011, 12:14 PM

Shadows of the Colossus is still the most beautiful game ever made, in so many ways.

It also has a terrible fucking camera that allows me to admire the breathtaking scenery while a giant monster is trying to smash my face in with it's skyscraper sword.

Oh yeah, and it lags like hell in certain parts.

Professor Smarmiarty · 10-11-2011, 12:16 PM

The important lesson we learnt in this thread: Seil uses his game as masturbation material.

Mr.Bookworm · 10-11-2011, 12:17 PM

Oh you wacky Brits.

Marc v4.0 · 10-11-2011, 12:22 PM

Brit? I thought Smarty was some sort of drunken euro-potato

Seil · 10-11-2011, 12:25 PM

Outer space potato man. He's a Scot, so he's probably a drunk man in a kilt.

Mr.Bookworm · 10-11-2011, 12:29 PM

Potato, potatoh.

Ecks · 10-11-2011, 12:56 PM

While we're on the subject... Re:coded and to a lesser extent, playing any KH game on an easier difficulty than Proud.

Why the HELL do I have to complete the damn journal? I'd rather deal with the higher difficulty (and usually do). If KH1 wasn't so damn nintendo hard due to the controls not being as tight as they are in later iterations, I could probably actually go back and do KH1 on proud.

**Revising Ocelot** · 10-11-2011, 01:00 PM

You want a horrible collectathon, try Donkey Kong 64. It was barely tolerable back in it's day when that style was relatively new-fangled, now it's just incredibly tedious.

akaSM · 10-11-2011, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Revolving Ocelot

You want a horrible collectathon, try Donkey Kong 64. It was barely back in it's day when that style was relatively new-fangled, now it's just incredibly tedious.

Come on, DK64 only had:

201 golden bananas
40 banana medals
8 boss keys
2 special coins
20 fairies
10 crowns
40 blueprints
100 Bananas per level PER character (2500 IIRC)

Umm...ok those are a lot of items but...the game is quite fun :3

10-11-2011, 12:07 PM	#1
Seil Super stressed! Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: British Columbia Posts: 8,081	"Wanky Things In Wonderful Games" or "God Damned 100% Completion Rate" Now, like all of us, I appreciate a good wank. Not, however, when it's in my games. I mean, we've got brilliant games like Psychonauts, Silent Hill and Thief! Yet all of them are marred by one or two flaws. Now don't get me wrong, Thief 1, Silent Hill 1 and Psychonauts are all great, wonderful, fantastic and rad... But there's just something that keeps them from perfection. In Silent Hill 1, it's the control scheme. I downloaded Silent Hill 1 over the PSN, after playing (and buying) nearly all the other games in the series, and all of them had 3D control. SH1, however, did not. It is extremely difficult to run away from the monsters when you can't actually run. Thief 1 had that fetch quest mission for a ghost. I know that most games have a fetch quest hidden somewhere in them, but this was frustrating to me as it's on a trademark Thief huge map, with strong enemies in linear corridors that you couldn't really sneak by. Psychonauts had the collectibles. I recently bought Psychonauts from Steam - my PS2 is dying on me - and it's every bit as great as I remember it... And just as frustrating. You've got several 'levels,' what with several collectibles, numbering in the hundreds for each level. From emotional baggage to figments to cobwebs to whatever - and if you're going for one hundred percent, and you're missing one figment, you've gotta go through the entire level. (And it's a figment! A semi-transparent scribble that in levels like Mias and Edgars are nearly impossible to see!) These don't make the game horrible. The games are nothing short of brilliant. But they are very wanky bits. And sometimes I don't enjoy being jerked around.

10-11-2011, 12:22 PM	#5
Marc v4.0 Fight Me, Nerds Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,470	Brit? I thought Smarty was some sort of drunken euro-potato __________________

10-11-2011, 01:00 PM	#9
Revising Ocelot Douchebag Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Probably somewhere in England. Posts: 1,897	You want a horrible collectathon, try Donkey Kong 64. It was barely tolerable back in it's day when that style was relatively new-fangled, now it's just incredibly tedious. __________________ magic sucks Last edited by Revising Ocelot; 10-11-2011 at 05:35 PM.

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10-11-2011, 12:14 PM	#2
Mr.Bookworm YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHH Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,034	Shadows of the Colossus is still the most beautiful game ever made, in so many ways. It also has a terrible fucking camera that allows me to admire the breathtaking scenery while a giant monster is trying to smash my face in with it's skyscraper sword. Oh yeah, and it lags like hell in certain parts.

10-11-2011, 12:16 PM	#3
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	The important lesson we learnt in this thread: Seil uses his game as masturbation material.

10-11-2011, 12:17 PM	#4
Mr.Bookworm YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHH Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,034	Oh you wacky Brits.

10-11-2011, 12:25 PM	#6
Seil Super stressed! Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: British Columbia Posts: 8,081	Outer space potato man. He's a Scot, so he's probably a drunk man in a kilt.

10-11-2011, 12:29 PM	#7
Mr.Bookworm YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHH Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,034	Potato, potatoh.