Let's Play Dwarf Fortress - Skeletal WHAT?!

[Wigmund]

Think we're safe, pulled up Corel's save and had a look at Wigmund's thoughts

[Corel]

Yeah, there are around 450 odd units of alcohol; that's one thing I've been keeping an eye on through the entire year.

I had also been wondering why the soldiers were never drinking, even when off duty in the dining area.

Edit: The Let's Play Hydra is growing!

[Kerensky287]

You made me a chick, you bastard.

In all seriousness, how have the other overseers been recording their adventures? Just screenshot + MS Paint + crop out the edges?

EDIT: ALL OF YOUR METAL-RELATED DWARVES ARE WOMEN.

EDIT2: Now I'm a woodcutter, hurrah. Still works for my plan. Works better, in fact.

[Thadius]

Yeah, we use Paint. Well, I did, I can't speak for the others, really.

[Loyal]

Yeah, Paint here too. For some reason GraphicsGale goes all screwy with pasting a Printscreen.

[Kerensky287]

WIGMUND: Alright, all, gather 'round the entryway statue garden! It's Granite the 1st again and you all know what that means...

CROWD: *assorted grumbles*

WIGMUND: That's right, it's time to vote for a new overseer! Anybody have anyone in mind to nominate?

CROWD: *assorted grumbles*

URIST MCWHINER: Why not just make Thadius do it again? Everyone knows he's the only one who knows what the hell's going on here.

WIGMUND: Oh, that's not true. I was working pretty hard for a while. And hey, look at how much we've flourished under... uh... that last guy!

URIST MCRABBLEROUSER: Oh, come on! He doesn't even know the last guy's name!

URIST MCWHINER: Make Thadius do it!

URIST MCNOTSTUPID: Honestly? That guy's a nutjob! Have you seen the way he carries that book around with him? What we need is someone with a little experience who knows how to overcome problems, like Hawk! He's had a friggin' hole in his lung for who-knows-how-long and he's still the best Marksdwarf any of us have ever seen!

URIST MCRABBLEROUSER: Yeah! Put Hawk on overseer duty! We like Hawk! We like Hawk!

CROWD: *mixed chants of We Like Hawk, devolving into mixed fits of giggles*

WIGMUND: ...So, Hawk it is then! Unless anyone else has any disagreements?

CROWD: *mixed chants of We Like Cawk*

WIGMUND: Alright then, with that I announc-

DOOR: *booted down*

THADIUS: Hold it right there, all of you! I hold here the answer to all of your problems!

WIGMUND: Umm, we already voted.

THADIUS: What do you think this is, a democracy?!

WIGMUND: Why not?

THADIUS: BECAUSE THE ECONOMICON HAS SPOKEN! *holds up a sheet of paper ripped from a book*

Clearly visible on the page is the line "WORKGILL OVERSEER: Kerensky Osustlogem, Woodcutter

CROWD: *disappointed muttering*

THADIUS: And that's that. You may disperse, everyone who isn't on this paper!

KERENSKY: ...But I don't know how to oversee... or whatever it is... I just got here in the last set of migrants. Heck, I don't even know anyone yet.

THADIUS: According to this book you've got enough raw talent to oversee a whole country! Now get to work, time's a-wasting, and you've only got a year to prove that you're some kind of hero!

KERENSKY: Alrighty. Any tips?

THADIUS: I'm sorry, it sounded like you asked me for help. That can't be right, considering that you're a heroic overseer. Which you are, because if you weren't, we'd probably through you in the river of undead for sheer uselessness.

KERENSKY: Exactly, I said "I gotta go oversee now."

THADIUS: I thought so.

___________________

FIRST JOUNAL OF KERENSKY OSUSTLOGEM, OVERSEER OF WORKGILL

1st Granite



I am so screwed.

81 dwarves! I have to lead 81 dwarves, including myself, with no experience, no help, and no idea how this place used to work before I got here! AND ONE OF THOSE DWARVES IS THE QUEEN! I don't know how to run a fortress. I don't know the first thing. Food, I guess? We've got that. Defenses...?



Got that, too. That last guy managed to guard the front gate with not only a pair of wolves, but a pair of UNICORNS. I can't be expected to tame a unicorn, can I?!



I'm a woodworker. I've always been one. It's in my blood, really. Ever since I first broke a tree in half with my toy axe, then made a tent out of it. I'm more fit to make some pretty barrels to put ale in than to give the orders to brew it.

The sad thing is, this Workgill place, confusing as it is, doesn't seem to have much use for wood. Everything's made of stone, and it seems like nobody's been collecting wood for ages. When I finally found the carpentry shops after what felt like hours of wandering, they were coated with dust, and the nearby stockpiles were nearly empty.



That's the Furnace Operator. I don't remember her name... but she's apparently the only one around who uses wood anymore. When I met her, she was taking the last few logs - thinking she was a fellow wood enthusiast, I tried to strike up a conversation. I needed a friend anyway, and... well, she had a cute beard.

Turns out she was just going to turn the wood into charcoal.

I don't know where much is, but I saw the wood furnace. It's right next to FOUR MAGMA FURNACES.

She was just wasting wood! Nobody needs goddamn charcoal, and I need that wood to make barrels, chests... or... or whatever! I'm the overseer, right? I say stuff should be made out of wood now!



Not that it matters, anyway. Guess it's time for me to go cut down some trees... that charcoal isn't going to make itself.


4th Granite

There's nothing to do around here. I just cut down something like half the trees in the Workgill enclosure. We aren't going to run out of wood anytime soon, but apparently they've got enough charcoal now and I don't have any ideas for what to make.

Funny story, though. I ran into the queen yesterday. She very graciously hinted that her already grand throne room could've been a bit more royal, as could her opulent dining room.

What makes a room fancy, I wonder? Statues, perhaps?



I told her I'd see what I could do.



Now I'm just lying in my tiny room - I guess overseers still don't deserve the big fancy places - while some mason makes those statues, I guess. Probably out of obsidian. Seems to be a lot of that lying around.

What is there to do? I have to do something grand. Build something, maybe! Something everyone will enjoy. I can be helpful, I'm sure of it. I... just need to sleep on the idea, is all.

_________________________________________

So, how's that for a first entry? I'm planning to build a megaproject of some kind... maybe more than one. I've got a really good one in mind but it's a little small and for more of a one-off joke. If anyone has a suggestion for a good megaconstruction, I'd love to hear it.

And of course if you have any criticisms tell me too.

Side note: holy shit, that fortress is huge. Took me ages to find anything in there, but I think I'm taming a unicorn or something now, and yeah, lots of statues on the way for Queen Mauve and eventually Thadius, both of whom have some requirements that aren't quite fulfilled. I dunno if it's the best idea but dammit I'm going to fill Mauve's room(s) with statues whether she likes it or not.

[Wigmund]

2nd of Granite, 60

So we have our new overseer, some random migrant [indicating escaped felon] that Thadius claims his book had chosen because of his great skills. What's next? One of the mechanics being placed in authority of this place?

But I do feel sorry for the poor woodcutter, that was my job when we first founded this place...what was it - 4 or 5 years ago? Maybe the greatness will rub off on what-his-name, oh yeah, Kerensky. Could have sworn that was one of smiths.

Maybe I should remind the kid that Custom dictates that the new overseer always builds himself a new bedroom, office and dining room suite as well as a decent tomb. That should help relieve his worries some - well, until the elves show up. Gonna have to remind him to drop them into the pit, only way to deal with them, every overseer after me has failed in this one protocol.

[Thadius]

I love the fact that we're all apparently ruled by my book. It started as a gag, but now its mutated beyond my control.

Oh, yeah, I did promise I'd try to organize the journal entries, didn't I? Oh well, I'll get started on that. I'll probably end up doing it by person and in sequential order.

...You're all just lucky I have a case of OCD I can switch on and off at will.

EDIT: Done. And from now on I'm watching this thread a bit closer so it isn't a chore to update it. Look for the list of journals under the overseer list.

EDIT2: Clearly the project, whatever it is, must involve magma at some point. We have bauxite being imported en masse, t'would be a shame not to use it...

[Loyal]

Originally Posted by Thadius

EDIT2: Clearly the project, whatever it is, must involve magma at some point. We have bauxite being imported en masse, t'would be a shame not to use it...

...since when?

Turns out she was just going to turn the wood into charcoal.

I don't know where much is, but I saw the wood furnace. It's right next to FOUR MAGMA FURNACES.

She was just wasting wood! Nobody needs goddamn charcoal, and I need that wood to make barrels, chests... or... or whatever! I'm the overseer, right? I say stuff should be made out of wood now!

Steel production requires one unit of fuel, regardless of forge type.

[Kerensky287]

Originally Posted by Loyal

Steel production requires one unit of fuel, regardless of forge type.

Screw steel. Who needs steel? What can you make with steel that you can't make with good old-fashioned wood? Heck, I can make you a wall out of wood that can take just as much punishment as any adamantine wall! /incharacter

But yeah, the fort is well-protected enough that I really doubt we need much more protection. It's practically self-sufficient, and all the invaders tend to end up skewered while crossing the bridge that we can actually just raise to kill them.