Let's Play Dwarf Fortress - Skeletal WHAT?!

[Kerensky287]

Originally Posted by Thadius

He put life back in this thread is what he did.

Oy! Overseer! Either you get on it, or you get tossed into the river of undead and Gregness becomes the next overseer!

GAAH FUCK okay fine. I'll get right on it.

I mean, I knew university would kinda kill my life for a while but I didn't expect it to get this harsh. I'll split my focus for a while then between Uni, Paradox, a flash movie I've been making with these guys for over a year that I've put off far too long, and this DF playthrough.

EDIT: Done.

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WIGMUND: Still chopping wood, huh? Even as an overseer you can't stop doing your real job too, I guess.

KERENSKY: Well, I'm starting to think that this whole overseer thing is all work and no play. I mean, I don't get any special privileges. I've still gotta do my job. I don't even get a bigger room than anybody else.

WIGMUND: Huh? What do you mean?

KERENSKY: I mean... well, y'know, Thadius has his 3-storey living complex, Queen Mauve has a massive set of rooms to herself, even you and Loyal have some pretty nifty setups! I'm stuck with my little 2 by 2 room in the apartments.

WIGMUND: ...You DO know that as overseer, you're allowed to designate areas for whoever you want, including yourself, right?

KERENSKY: ...Huh?

WIGMUND: Well, who the hell do you think built my "nifty setup"?

KERENSKY: *pause*

*Kerensky stops cutting wood, seeks out a nearby mason.*

KERENSKY: Hello, I'm the overseer! I have a proposal...

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7th GRANITE



These are the blueprints for my new home - a two-storey tower in the courtyard of Workgill itself. When it's finished it'll even have a staircase into the fortress so I don't have to go outside to get there.



I think I'm getting the hang of noticing what needs doing, as well. I'm really surprised that none of the previous overseers have done anything about this friggin' underground river of undead.



My tentative plan is to dig out a giant hole above the river.



Once it's reached the surface, Hawk's squad can fire downward into it with their crossbows. They'll be completely safe from harm, too, as skeletal water monsters can't climb. It'll be like shooting fish in a barrel! Ahahaha, I crack myself up.


10TH GRANITE



Elves.

I despise them.

No appreciation for proper carpentry techniques. They think that taking an axe to a tree "hurts it" or something - bullpocky, in my opinion. Trees don't bleed. Except for sap, of course. But that doesn't count because it's delicious.

Honestly, someone should teach these guys how to properly smooth wood. They're always coming along with their "natural" wood products - you know an elf once tried to sell me a wooden mug? It was a goddamn bird's nest.



Now, dwarves know how to properly work with wood! This guy's a farmer and he's apparently decided to make himself a little project without even having any carpentry skill! Now that's initiative.


11TH GRANITE

Elves finally made it to the entrance of Workgill.



I hope nobody minds that they made it no further.


12TH GRANITE



We're apparently under attack by goblins again. Normally I'd be moderately concerned, but for one thing, they're also getting rid of the surviving elves, and for another, this is goddamn WORKGILL. As long as we stay inside the front gate they can't freakin' touch us.


16TH GRANITE

...Oh, fuck me. Why did I have to write that?



So, the goblins apparently mustered the courage to charge the gates again. Maybe they didn't see all the clothes the previous army left behind - everything of value was claimed already. I guess the prospect of watching some goblins explode drew a bit of a crowd. I should've seen a problem with that, but I was busy overseeing the creation of my tower.



Apparently it was a good show, actually. There was this one goblin who I guess went through the same weapon trap multiple times - an iron maul smashed off one arm, then the other, then his leg at the knee. Mauls aren't the kind of thing you'd usually think of when it comes to limb-severing either, so I guess it would've been pretty kickass to watch.

Somebody threw up.



I have no idea what happened next. Maybe the onlookers decided to head out and pick the corpses clean. Maybe they had work to do outside the fort. Either way, NOBODY thought to check for more goblins.



Needless to say, the results were a little gruesome.

Luckily all but one of the onlookers escaped. The last one apparently had some pressing matter to attend to in the middle of the goblin horde.



I have NO idea what was running through everyone's heads at this point but apparently running was out of the question, as was HIDING BEHIND THE FUCKING GUARD-WOLVES. The goblin army started massing on the outermost side of the traps, though, and enough had been set off that they could have made it through with a few goblins still standing. A few dwarves had the presence of mind to alert the guards. One guy finally told me.

I immediately gave an emergency order for all non-military personnel to remain inside the fort until further notice.



I still don't know what the hell took Hawk's squad so long. They were stationed right near the entrance and I actually ordered them to the fortifications immediately after ordering everyone else inside. Luckily, a Swordsdwarf - I think he was from Melfice's squad - was close enough that he took it upon himself to act as a forward guard. Those goblin corpses behind him? HE MADE THOSE.



I'd have pinned a medal on the guy if some bastard hadn't hit him with a lucky crossbow shot.

The goblins were forced to retreat shortly after Hawk's squad arrived. Hawk himself is unconscious again - seems to have broken his arm somehow, too. Can't imagine how. But now all the dwarves have gone out, buried their dead (we lost something like 5 pets in the attack) and picked the goblins clean. I've kept some dwarves on watch just in case the goblins come back, but I'm not worried anymore. They're less than a quarter of their original strength and thus no longer a threat.

And now to start resetting the traps.


26TH GRANITE

Goblins haven't been seen in a while. I'm not sure where they've gone, and if it was any other race I'd be worried... but they're probably stuck wandering in some forest somewhere, trying to find the fortress again.

That farmer finally finished his construction - it was a damn fine hatch cover. I'd have rubbed it in the Elves' faces if any survived.



The masons also finished a ton of statues and Queen Mauve is satisfied with how much she now owns. I guess nobles really DO like statues.



I threw some of the leftovers in my newly completed tower, which I've taken to calling The Tor.

Naturally, right after I put them there, Thadius came running over to me and in some sort of "me-too" frenzy apparently decided his office, bedroom and dining room needed some sprucing up as well. I've put another 12 statues on order. The masons are now experienced enough that masterpieces are almost common though so Thads should be satisfied with less as long as I don't tell him how many have been made.

Who knows? Maybe those things will grow on me, too. I can always put up another floor on my house for the sole purpose of statue ownership. I just hope I don't end up going mad with power.


27TH GRANITE

Those miner cowards won't finish the Undead Killing Hole thanks to some scary noises from below. Will write more once I've spoken to them.

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I honestly don't know what happened with that goblin attack. The dwarves seemed obsessed with running right into danger. I'm just glad that redshirt arrived when he/she did because there were a good number of forumites in that crowd and I didn't want to have to rename other people before anyone knew what happened tell you guys I couldn't save your dudes.

I'm also not sure at all why Hawk's squad took so fucking long to arrive. They were in the barracks right next to the bridge and I sent them to the fortifications the moment the goblins showed up. I'll probably end up using both that and the broken arm thing (which I ALSO don't know the origin of) later in the story, though.