The blood of the gods runs through you! Well, one god anyways.

Thadius · 07-31-2010, 02:49 PM

Well I guess there's only one place left to go. Time for Beregost and the Plot that awaits us there.

I'm famous?

No, he's famous. You're just well-known at this point.

And now you get to play exterminator.

They're bandits, how bad could they possibly be?

Silly boy. You're surrounded. And you're going to die very quickly.

He did so, but look at that. Look what Minsc did to that poor man. Remind me to never get on the wrong end of his sword.

Which, I assume, is the side that points towards his foes.

Are you keeping track of the organizational ladder here? Cause I'm lost.

I'll try.

Oh yes. We'll be wanting that for Kahlid.

Wait what? What happened to protecting Jaheria?

Jaheria can wear plate mail without getting winded. Kahlid, despite being a fighter, doesn't have much in the way of heavy lifting. I put plate mail on him, and he's gonna get real tired real quick and not be able to carry much else. Ankheg armor doesn't have much weight to it, is very protective, and as such is one of the better armors out there.

Darn you and your logic.

Anyway while we're here let's do a bit of shopping for Imoen.

First let's snag the best armor she could wear...

Followed by a nice little dagger.

Well this is a welcome change of events.

But now we're broke. Let's go change that.

Easy enough, head to the crossroads.

Now what?

This way, towards the downed caravan.

A CHALLENGER APPROACHES!

MARY WORTH
VS.
BANDIT PARTY

FIGHT!

MARY WORTH WINS!

FLAWLESS VICTORY!

They weren't here before, what gives?

Hey I don't pretend to understand, all I know is that after you talked to the officer, there they were. Now let's head to the Plot.

So where is it?

Right about here.

Yes, no matter how many people are attacking you, he will talk to you and rescue you from your current situation and whisk you away to the bandit camp. I imagine everything else there goes 'huh?' after you vanish into thin air.

I'm more worried about what Minsc will do. Killing the leader wouldn't look good.

Not to worry, it looks like he does have something resembling a brain.

Welcome to the bandit camp! It won't be here for much longer. Our goal is the biggest tent around.

We kinda already suspected there was something inside anyways.

I don't suppose you mind that we cast a few protective spells before we go in?

Not at al- Am I seeing multiple Dynaheirs?

Dynaheir, I know it's just the mirror image spell, but it's freaky all the same. Please don't do it again.

Very well.

This is gonna be very satisfying, despite the hobgoblin elite in the back.

Nice bow. Pity Imoen can't use it. Hopefully we'll figure out a solution for that soon.

One plotdump later, we know where the Iron Throne's main operations are. We'll be there very soon.

For now, chapter three is done. You know what time it is, Mary?

Bandit time?

Bandit killing time.

Sorta what I mean.

Anyway, after you kill off the lackeys in the tent, all the other bandits are supposed to get mad at you. But guess what? They don't! Meaning we can pick our targets and rest still.

The target we pick is this guy. He's the most heavily armored and armed guy here. Nothing a few spells can't cure.

Namely, magic missile. Oh I do love this ring.

These hobgoblins are unique. They can be scalped. You'd better believe that after...

Jaheira is civil to them we slaughtered them for profit.

This looks like a nice little cave.

Oh this is going to hurt.

Oh balls. Flinds. Flinds are like Gnolls on steroids. They're the only thing you shouldn't take lightly in the Gnoll family. We somehow manage to kill everything so we can rest in the cave.

Freaky dream sequence...

Oh we'll be needing that. There be poison ahead. Anyway afterwards we send Imoen on a looting spree of the camp, since we never want to come back here ever again...

And this little gem turns up. The rest of the Plot might be possible now!

FEAR ME! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Welcome to Clo- Wait this is the lighthouse. What the hell are we doing back at the lighthouse?

You said there was something else to do here, so we're here to do it.

Yeah there are also roaming siriens in this area. This was not a bright idea on your part Mary!

Is this it?

Not really, but she's still something to do while you're here.

I just asked a question. Why does she have to go psychotic on me?

There we are. Short little chore for you.

Man I almost wish I could warn these worgs of what happens to things Minsc hits.

And another good deed for the- you're going to make me do horrible things now, aren't you?

Not this time. Actually you should get back to Beregost, check up on that armor you commissioned.

That is probably the most annoying phrase to hear. Ah well, go stay for a day in the Jovial Jester or whatever it's called. Maybe it'll be done then.

Why are we waiting for it?

We are NOT going into the Cloakwood proper without that armor.

One day passes, and sure enough...

Armed to the teeth and armored like a tank. I approve of the direction this party is headed.

Welcome to the Cloakwood! There's not a whole lot to do here, but what is here is worthwhile to be doing.

Hey didn't we hear something about how one of these blighters stole a cloak around here? We should probably get it back.

Mine mine mine mine mine mine MINE!

We will have to return it to the dwarf who lost it eventually.

Dwarf can bite me. I'm not letting go of this cloak!

Anyway, heading to the cabin...

We find this respectable gentleman. Perhaps you should strike up a conversation?

Upon my word! Ruffians and brigands have assaulted his personage? You chose wisely, Mary.

Are you...quite alright? You suddenly sound very odd.

Oh, sorry, I felt the need to speak as though I was extremely dapper. Do continue.

Those that do not listen to reason are hardly druids.

Well hey, that'll prove useful later.

*Yoink*

...You're up to something. I know it.

Let us continue on, child. We have work to do.

Who would cross the bridge of-

Don't you dare. I'm just gonna talk to him.

Sorry, I have enough companions at the moment. Oh, and if you don't hurry, you'll be out of a bounty as well.

Welcome to ~~Cloak~~Spiderwood! Oh I hate this area too.

I think I can guess why.

Oh I think I know why now.

Rather than trust Imoen to spot these traps, I tell Jaheria to use her spell to find them. They're tricky to disarm as well. Eventually we sneak around to the south side of the map and I send Imoen to scout for traps...

Aaaaaaaaaah!

Oh sword spiders. The bane of my existence. They're fast. They can poison, just like any other spider. And they take longer to go down.

Oh by the way, this is what happens when Imoen fails to spot a trap before she springs it. Surprise! Web stops you from doing anything, and if there are creatures around, they get free swings at you while you try to free yourself.

Eventually we find the spider's den.

There's a very fat thing in the middle, and lots of spiders. Jaheria goes for an Entangle spell to hold everything still, and we kill of the dangerous things at our leisure. Amongst the loot, we find the body we came here for, along with...

A new toy for Minsc that I doubt he'll ever let go of.

I love this sword!

Sorry I didn't get there sooner and all. But hey, I promise I did not perform any necromantic experiments on the body.

Welcome to ~~Cloak~~Druidwood! Unfortunately, everything is evil here.

Or just plain old sleezy.

Oh you're killin' me over here. No bridge of death references?

No!

Let's keep a tally. Evil druid number one...

Well he critically failed his Bluff roll. Now to make him fail in general.

Two evil druids so far. Mm. Plus the one way back in Larswood. Do the ones back at the beginning of the Cloakwood count?

No they do not. So we've got three evil druids total.

Four! Four evil druids, ah ah ah!

Welcome to ~~Cloak~~Wyvernwood! This area is actually sorta dangerous. See, the wyverns have disturbed the wildlife, so here you'll find openly hostile bears, wolves, and hamadryads. Fortunately...

On our way here we only fought one bear. So let's buff up and go in!

That was fast. Normally I'd use a wand of summoning, but eh. Wand of fear and magic missile work as well. We take both heads for later and continue on our way.

Welcome to the freakin' mines already! This is really the game's last chance to punch you in the teeth before giving you over to the city, where you WILL be punched and kicked in the teeth constantly. Let's do some recon.

Recon over, let's attack already.

You poor fools, you're already doomed. You're facing two wielders of the arcane arts, plus one who's skilled in the clerical arts. We could strike you down where you stand. And if we don't, you'd still have to get past the living walls that are the frontmen. But all that was pointless to inform you of, except to distract you from the poison backstab surprise.

Wha- HURK!

Now are you glad you bought me this dagger?

This has got to be the most rewarding battle yet. Why?

This is why. New boots for Minsc!

Minsc run like cheetah and hit like bull! Look out evil, you will not know what hit you!

New armor for Jaheria as well. Gotta keep everyone alive, right?

We're close. We're so close they're running out of people to throw at us.

If that's all he knew, I'm surprised his head didn't implode.

I wasn't expecting this, but let's kill it anyways. We will not mention it again.

After a paltry amount of guards try to stop us...

We're ready for the mines.

Next time on Baldur's Gate: How to drown a druid!

07-31-2010, 02:49 PM	#11
Thadius BEARD IMPACT Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: MANLY ANGER Posts: 1,977	Bandits? What bandits? Well I guess there's only one place left to go. Time for Beregost and the Plot that awaits us there. I'm famous? No, he's famous. You're just well-known at this point. And now you get to play exterminator. They're bandits, how bad could they possibly be? Silly boy. You're surrounded. And you're going to die very quickly. He did so, but look at that. Look what Minsc did to that poor man. Remind me to never get on the wrong end of his sword. Which, I assume, is the side that points towards his foes. Are you keeping track of the organizational ladder here? Cause I'm lost. I'll try. Oh yes. We'll be wanting that for Kahlid. Wait what? What happened to protecting Jaheria? Jaheria can wear plate mail without getting winded. Kahlid, despite being a fighter, doesn't have much in the way of heavy lifting. I put plate mail on him, and he's gonna get real tired real quick and not be able to carry much else. Ankheg armor doesn't have much weight to it, is very protective, and as such is one of the better armors out there. Darn you and your logic. Anyway while we're here let's do a bit of shopping for Imoen. First let's snag the best armor she could wear... Followed by a nice little dagger. Well this is a welcome change of events. But now we're broke. Let's go change that. Easy enough, head to the crossroads. Now what? This way, towards the downed caravan. A CHALLENGER APPROACHES! MARY WORTH VS. BANDIT PARTY FIGHT! MARY WORTH WINS! FLAWLESS VICTORY! They weren't here before, what gives? Hey I don't pretend to understand, all I know is that after you talked to the officer, there they were. Now let's head to the Plot. So where is it? Right about here. Yes, no matter how many people are attacking you, he will talk to you and rescue you from your current situation and whisk you away to the bandit camp. I imagine everything else there goes 'huh?' after you vanish into thin air. I'm more worried about what Minsc will do. Killing the leader wouldn't look good. Not to worry, it looks like he does have something resembling a brain. Welcome to the bandit camp! It won't be here for much longer. Our goal is the biggest tent around. We kinda already suspected there was something inside anyways. I don't suppose you mind that we cast a few protective spells before we go in? Not at al- Am I seeing multiple Dynaheirs? Dynaheir, I know it's just the mirror image spell, but it's freaky all the same. Please don't do it again. Very well. This is gonna be very satisfying, despite the hobgoblin elite in the back. Nice bow. Pity Imoen can't use it. Hopefully we'll figure out a solution for that soon. One plotdump later, we know where the Iron Throne's main operations are. We'll be there very soon. For now, chapter three is done. You know what time it is, Mary? Bandit time? Bandit killing time. Sorta what I mean. Anyway, after you kill off the lackeys in the tent, all the other bandits are supposed to get mad at you. But guess what? They don't! Meaning we can pick our targets and rest still. The target we pick is this guy. He's the most heavily armored and armed guy here. Nothing a few spells can't cure. Namely, magic missile. Oh I do love this ring. These hobgoblins are unique. They can be scalped. You'd better believe that after... Jaheira is civil to them we slaughtered them for profit. This looks like a nice little cave. Oh this is going to hurt. Oh balls. Flinds. Flinds are like Gnolls on steroids. They're the only thing you shouldn't take lightly in the Gnoll family. We somehow manage to kill everything so we can rest in the cave. Freaky dream sequence... Oh we'll be needing that. There be poison ahead. Anyway afterwards we send Imoen on a looting spree of the camp, since we never want to come back here ever again... And this little gem turns up. The rest of the Plot might be possible now! FEAR ME! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Welcome to Clo- Wait this is the lighthouse. What the hell are we doing back at the lighthouse? You said there was something else to do here, so we're here to do it. Yeah there are also roaming siriens in this area. This was not a bright idea on your part Mary! Is this it? Not really, but she's still something to do while you're here. I just asked a question. Why does she have to go psychotic on me? There we are. Short little chore for you. Man I almost wish I could warn these worgs of what happens to things Minsc hits. And another good deed for the- you're going to make me do horrible things now, aren't you? Not this time. Actually you should get back to Beregost, check up on that armor you commissioned. That is probably the most annoying phrase to hear. Ah well, go stay for a day in the Jovial Jester or whatever it's called. Maybe it'll be done then. Why are we waiting for it? We are NOT going into the Cloakwood proper without that armor. One day passes, and sure enough... Armed to the teeth and armored like a tank. I approve of the direction this party is headed. Welcome to the Cloakwood! There's not a whole lot to do here, but what is here is worthwhile to be doing. Hey didn't we hear something about how one of these blighters stole a cloak around here? We should probably get it back. Mine mine mine mine mine mine MINE! We will have to return it to the dwarf who lost it eventually. Dwarf can bite me. I'm not letting go of this cloak! Anyway, heading to the cabin... We find this respectable gentleman. Perhaps you should strike up a conversation? Upon my word! Ruffians and brigands have assaulted his personage? You chose wisely, Mary. Are you...quite alright? You suddenly sound very odd. Oh, sorry, I felt the need to speak as though I was extremely dapper. Do continue. Those that do not listen to reason are hardly druids. Well hey, that'll prove useful later. Yoink ...You're up to something. I know it. Let us continue on, child. We have work to do. Who would cross the bridge of- Don't you dare. I'm just gonna talk to him. Sorry, I have enough companions at the moment. Oh, and if you don't hurry, you'll be out of a bounty as well. Welcome to ~~Cloak~~Spiderwood! Oh I hate this area too. I think I can guess why. Oh I think I know why now. Rather than trust Imoen to spot these traps, I tell Jaheria to use her spell to find them. They're tricky to disarm as well. Eventually we sneak around to the south side of the map and I send Imoen to scout for traps... Aaaaaaaaaah! Oh sword spiders. The bane of my existence. They're fast. They can poison, just like any other spider. And they take longer to go down. Oh by the way, this is what happens when Imoen fails to spot a trap before she springs it. Surprise! Web stops you from doing anything, and if there are creatures around, they get free swings at you while you try to free yourself. Eventually we find the spider's den. There's a very fat thing in the middle, and lots of spiders. Jaheria goes for an Entangle spell to hold everything still, and we kill of the dangerous things at our leisure. Amongst the loot, we find the body we came here for, along with... A new toy for Minsc that I doubt he'll ever let go of. I love this sword! Sorry I didn't get there sooner and all. But hey, I promise I did not perform any necromantic experiments on the body. Welcome to ~~Cloak~~Druidwood! Unfortunately, everything is evil here. Or just plain old sleezy. Oh you're killin' me over here. No bridge of death references? No! Let's keep a tally. Evil druid number one... Well he critically failed his Bluff roll. Now to make him fail in general. Two evil druids so far. Mm. Plus the one way back in Larswood. Do the ones back at the beginning of the Cloakwood count? No they do not. So we've got three evil druids total. Four! Four evil druids, ah ah ah! Welcome to ~~Cloak~~Wyvernwood! This area is actually sorta dangerous. See, the wyverns have disturbed the wildlife, so here you'll find openly hostile bears, wolves, and hamadryads. Fortunately... On our way here we only fought one bear. So let's buff up and go in! That was fast. Normally I'd use a wand of summoning, but eh. Wand of fear and magic missile work as well. We take both heads for later and continue on our way. Welcome to the freakin' mines already! This is really the game's last chance to punch you in the teeth before giving you over to the city, where you WILL be punched and kicked in the teeth constantly. Let's do some recon. Recon over, let's attack already. You poor fools, you're already doomed. You're facing two wielders of the arcane arts, plus one who's skilled in the clerical arts. We could strike you down where you stand. And if we don't, you'd still have to get past the living walls that are the frontmen. But all that was pointless to inform you of, except to distract you from the poison backstab surprise. Wha- HURK! Now are you glad you bought me this dagger? This has got to be the most rewarding battle yet. Why? This is why. New boots for Minsc! Minsc run like cheetah and hit like bull! Look out evil, you will not know what hit you! New armor for Jaheria as well. Gotta keep everyone alive, right? We're close. We're so close they're running out of people to throw at us. If that's all he knew, I'm surprised his head didn't implode. I wasn't expecting this, but let's kill it anyways. We will not mention it again. After a paltry amount of guards try to stop us... We're ready for the mines. Next time on Baldur's Gate: How to drown a druid! __________________ ANGER HAS NEVER BEEN MORE MANLY THAN THIS.