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Unread 08-17-2010, 04:46 PM   #1
pochercoaster
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^That... that contains so much pop psychology it makes my brain hurt... Sorry blues >_>

I'm going to echo Krogo here and say it sounds like you're worried about passing up future opportunities. I don't have much advice beyond that as I don't feel I can properly judge a situation unless I personally know the people involved.

Just out of curiosity, how long will you be in service, and how frequently do you get time off?

I was kind of in a similar situation as you, except there was no impending military service. It was at a shitty point in my life, though, and I figured I had nothing to lose so I just went with it and it turned out to be a good decision. Our barrier was long distance- however, we both happen to be really stubborn fucks and wouldn't give it up. We were both also kind of at a turning point in our lives so we didn't really care about any other opportunities that came up cause we were already seizing one.

Edit: This really doesn't need to be stated but trying to analyze all your different traits and such to determine compatibility is useless. People are too complex to be distilled into a list. I mean that's what internet memes are. You can think and think and try to figure out if this person is "the one" but ultimately it boils down to two people who are willing to compromise with each other. Obviously you can dismiss someone based on glaring personality flaws, like a cocaine habit or something, but if you already started going out then chances are the major barriers in your relationship aren't going to be ones that show up on a list.

Edit 2: Also I wouldn't say it's pathetic to ask for advice, it's not like you have to follow it or anything. Sometimes you just need to brainstorm.

Last edited by pochercoaster; 08-17-2010 at 05:04 PM.
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Unread 08-17-2010, 07:30 PM   #2
bluestarultor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pocheros View Post
^That... that contains so much pop psychology it makes my brain hurt... Sorry blues >_>

I'm going to echo Krogo here and say it sounds like you're worried about passing up future opportunities. I don't have much advice beyond that as I don't feel I can properly judge a situation unless I personally know the people involved.

Just out of curiosity, how long will you be in service, and how frequently do you get time off?

I was kind of in a similar situation as you, except there was no impending military service. It was at a shitty point in my life, though, and I figured I had nothing to lose so I just went with it and it turned out to be a good decision. Our barrier was long distance- however, we both happen to be really stubborn fucks and wouldn't give it up. We were both also kind of at a turning point in our lives so we didn't really care about any other opportunities that came up cause we were already seizing one.

Edit: This really doesn't need to be stated but trying to analyze all your different traits and such to determine compatibility is useless. People are too complex to be distilled into a list. I mean that's what internet memes are. You can think and think and try to figure out if this person is "the one" but ultimately it boils down to two people who are willing to compromise with each other. Obviously you can dismiss someone based on glaring personality flaws, like a cocaine habit or something, but if you already started going out then chances are the major barriers in your relationship aren't going to be ones that show up on a list.

Edit 2: Also I wouldn't say it's pathetic to ask for advice, it's not like you have to follow it or anything. Sometimes you just need to brainstorm.
I... wasn't really trying?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that having chemistry is a good way to start a relationship, but it has to be more than that. The two parties have to "work" together well enough that the relationship works out. Relationships are built on fulfilled expectations. A guy is going to expect certain things from a potential wife and vice versa. Maybe he expects her to manage the bank account, maybe she expects him to do it. If nobody ends up doing it, there's conflict.

When I said compatibility, I didn't mean some mumbo-jumbo "I'm a Virgo" thing as much as "this is what I expect you to bring to the relationship." Whether that's romantic dinners on the weekend or transportation or spontaneous gifts or playing Halo together or fantastic sex varies between different people.
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Last edited by bluestarultor; 08-17-2010 at 07:33 PM.
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