Asshat's Spectacular Shenanigans!

[Lost in Time]

I am totally re-pulsed by your puns in that gym battle. Go on, my friend.

[Kyanbu The Legend]

The sear amount of rage in that last update made my day.

Can't wait for the next update.

[Locke cole]

Oh god. Worst fears realized.

HM01 is Slice. Trees are replaced by little kids

I was holding out hope that it might've been something harmlessly dumb, like "scare", or something. I didn't want to believe the game was that depraved.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Why are you collecting gym badges? I'm a bit lost

[Token]

Originally Posted by Aldurin

The prostitution line is a good change of pace from the standard poor grammar and cheesy lines.

But I would go pokemon trainer as not only would you be famous, but your pokemon would be sore instead of you.

what makes you think her pokemon wouldn't join in and get sore as well
Trainers gonna train, hookers gonna hook.

Originally Posted by Nikose Tyris

I've been waiting a long time for this update.

Tch. Should have waited another month before posting.

Originally Posted by Lost in Time

I am totally re-pulsed by your puns in that gym battle. Go on, my friend.

Ohm my god, I have had it with all these puns. I don't mean to be negative, but they're all old as well. Don't you have any more current jokes?

Originally Posted by Kyanbu The Legend

The sear amount of rage in that last update made my day.

Can't wait for the next update.

This one's only about two thirds of the way done. Stuff keeps coming up, and I haven't had much time to sit down and finish.

Originally Posted by Locke cole

Oh god. Worst fears realized.

HM01 is Slice. Trees are replaced by little kids

I was holding out hope that it might've been something harmlessly dumb, like "scare", or something. I didn't want to believe the game was that depraved.

The game is always that depraved. Always.

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants

Why are you collecting gym badges? I'm a bit lost

Pretty much because A) Giovanni told him to, and B) it's a decent way for his pet monstrosities to gain experience.

[Token]

TOKEN, WHAT THE HELL. You forgot to finish the last update for almost a MONTH. JEGUS FUCK. I'm going to post the last half of chapter four and the entirety of chapter five right the fuck now.

Scratch that. Going on hiatus until A) this headache is gone, B) I'm not depressed as shit, and C) I can go a day without a medical dilemma. Sorry. I just can't do this right now; there's been a lot going on in my life, it's all starting to overflow, and I don't have the energy to try to be funny right now.

[Locke cole]

Hey man, whatever you need. There's no reason to put a letsplay over yer health. Whenever you're ready.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Originally Posted by Token

Scratch that. Going on hiatus until A) this headache is gone, B) I'm not depressed as shit, and C) I can go a day without a medical dilemma. Sorry. I just can't do this right now; there's been a lot going on in my life, it's all starting to overflow, and I don't have the energy to try to be funny right now.

*hug* Don't wear yourself out just because of us. Get yourself some good rest, maybe fill up on some good holiday comfort food.

[Geminex]

Thirded. This can wait, conquer your real-life stuff first. God knows you've got enough.

[Token]

Token update: Life is still shitty, still in the hiatus-y mood, but I've got a few hours until my next class. No guarantee as to when the next bit will be up. The Christmas special, on the other hand, will be up in March.

No, that was not a joke.

Asshat update:


Yes, I want the frikking Cutter. Why else would I even be in your stupid cave-home thing?

Fucking Roc... Oh, right. They're with me. Good on 'em.

I... really have no response to that.

I care so very little.

Dammit, Clark, I'm sorta busy here. Got henchmen to meet up with.

And then Clifford burned the rock until it stopped moving.

And then Squick did Dennis-knows-what to the other two.

Yeah, sure, whatthefuckever.

Oh, fantastic! Maybe now it will be less hideous!

This is what happens when i hope for things.

Seeing as my dog-lizard-hellbeast just learned a Fighting type move, yeah.

Have I mentioned I hate you and everyone like you?

That's not even a Dark type, you lying fucknugget!

LIES. Nothing but lies.

Only in the privacy of my own... that is not even remotely what you were talking about.

Um. I realize that as an executive in a criminal organization, I'm not exactly the best role model. But do you really think it's wise to start partying when you're eight?

That's hardly the way to respond to advice. :I

The best way to confront these abominations is the judicious use of fire.

Yeah, maybe.

Lying is not cool.

Neither is looking pretty much exactly like that boy I just defeated.

Y'know, I'm still not entirely sure what I'm looking at.

Who even says "cool" anymore? All the winners say "schway."

Fun fact: Your classmates hate you.

Anyone wanna explain to me why the popo have their own tunnel? Are my teammates really that inept what am I even saying of course they are.

The boss arranged a rendezvous in the one place in the region that is named after the police. That's either really stupid, or really ballsy.

Yeah, 'kay.

Doo-doo-doo-doo!

Yeah, I got it.

I just fucking said I remembered the plan. Get out of my cave.

Exploran'!

Helpan' the elderly!

Findan' bitchan' shades!

What no. These aren't spectacles. These are shades. The difference is that they are bitchin'.

I just... y'know what, fuck it.

These are yours now.

Oh hey, a shiny.

Already have a regular one, but what the hey. I'm a sucker for fabulousness.

Because "Goldbug" would have been too obvious.

Might as well complete my mission or whatever.

Except a way out of this hellhole.

Oh. Uh, good job on them, I guess.

Hey! That's a load of... yeah, it wouldn't surprise me.

Couldn't you just ask them to move?

EARLIER, ON AN ENTIRELY UNRELATED NOTE.

Y'know what I hate, Tarantulas? Fucking shrubs, everywhere. Can't take one mewdamn step without seeing a fucking tree that needs to be cut down. So, this is your purpose. If you see any tiny green and brown shrubs, you cut the fuck out of those motherfuckers. Got it? Good boy. We will be friends forever until I move to Kanto and leave you behind forever.

MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE PRESENT.

Yes. Yes he is.

Nah. I'm a jerk, but I'm not that much of an assho-

What.

What?

WHAT!?

My fabulous bug is covered in the bloodstains of a small child. How do you think I'm doing?

I mean, yeah, the kid would have grown up to annoy me. There's no doubt about that. But... killing it?

That just seems sort of wrong. And no one in the building so much as zubats an eye about it!

I mean, really... hang on, what?

Godspeed, men. Godspeed.

Yeah, I set up the Voltorb.

Oh, that. In my defense, I do what I want.

Oh, fantastic. I'm here to steal a letter or something from your boss.

That is what I just said, yes.

Your boss has it. I suggest you ask him. Now.

Good boy.

Figured as much.

Hopefully, I won't have to.

Yes, I can see that, you useless fuck.

Would I be standing here otherwise? Anyway, you apparently have some super secret letter. I'm here to take it.

Fair enough. Tarantulas! Terrorize!

Fantastic. Thanks.

Sure. But first, what in the seven levels of fucktardation is making that annoying beeping.

I see. I'm taking this.

Even better. If I destroy this one, I'll never have to hear that idiotic noise again. Otherwise, there's a chance you could mass produce these fuckers. I hate this region enough already, but if every mewdamn trainer I see has one of these, well, I'd just have to snap.

Doo-doo-doo-yoink. So, does this do anything except beep?

So it's pretty much a Pocket Monster Gear? Heh. If it wasn't for the STUPID MOTHERFUCKING PHONE THAT NEEDS TO DIE, I'd have loved my Pocket Monster Gear.

No... phone.

I'm keeping this.