An Ode to Meister OR your pre-winter discussion thread

[Nique]

You’re a mean one Meister Grinch
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
And as charming as an eel,
Meister Grinch!

You're a bad banana,
With a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Meister Grinch!
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul,
Meister Grinch!

I wouldn't touch you
With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You're a vile one, Meister Grinch!
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile,
Meister Grinch!

Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile!

You're a foul one, Meister Grinch!
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Meister Grinch!

The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk!"

You're a rotter, Meister Grinch!
You're the king of sinful sots!
Your heart's a dead tomato,
Splotched with moldy, purple spots,
Meister Grinch!

Your soul is an apalling dump-heap,
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!

You nauseate me, Meister Grinch!
With a nauseous super naus!
You're a crooked jerky jockey,
And you drive a crooked hoss,
Meister Grinch!

You're a three-decker sauerkraut
and toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!

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So, about Snow-Days;

Last time I went sledding, I rode a pretty steep hill with lots of bumps. Nearly broke my arms and hit a branch with my crotch. I love snow.

I have to say though, I tried snowboarding and I was totally awful at it. I fell so many times that I spent the rest of the time in the lodge nursing a vodka and like, 18 olives. Which honestly was just as good.