Magical Landry Sign-Up Part Deux - The Landrying!

[Aldurin]

Shatter Strike, _ Elemental:
Naomi charges up a projectile of raw force and fires it at the target. If the target is designated before firing, then the projectile will attempt to home in on it to increase the chance of actually hitting. Grade 2.

Surprise Strength, Yellow Elemental:
Naomi uses her magic to increase her experiments with human strength by briefly punching really hard. Strength Surge, Grade 1 power.

Electronic Override, Green/Blue Elemental:
Naomi has learned to be able to use magic to turn on/off simple electronic devices without needing access to the key/lever/switch. Requires physical contact with the device in question.

Regeneration Focus, Yellow Elemental:
Naomi clears her mind and focuses her magic into regenerating her wounds faster. She is unable to use other spells while in this state. Mostly seals minor wounds and stops bleeding for short term, but more serious wounds should get an actual doctor.

Dermal Steel, Yellow Elemental:
Naomi uses magic to summon an invisible layer of energy over herself that reduces the force of attacks against her.

[DanteFalcon]

Few more edits in his backstory, trying to make the difference between "Charismatic" and "Nice" more clear. Changed Publicity club to Veterinary Club.

Also Ophiuchus is...just the most logical choice for him. Its been debated as the thirteenth zodiac for quite a long time so it would be the easiest to potentially bring into Astrology.

[phil_]

Teal, I've been wondering about something, and I hope you could address it in your next long explanatory post. The only parts of magical society you've described are those dedicated to either educating people in magic or hiding the fact that magic exists. There must be some instance where magic is acceptable to use other than to hide that magic exists. I suppose reading the RP might shed some light on where magic is actually allowed to be used, but a quick primer on the magical economy would be appreciated. Or, like, any reason a human might want to learn to use magic, since all I'm getting is "The only legal use for magic is suppressing magic." Oh, and "If you've sorta figured out magic, but not quite, ninja wizards are going to burn your house down and kill your family."

Short version: Can one make a living on magic? Or could one ever, historically?

[Rhiya Ravenwing]

It's... not too late for me to write something up and join.... is it? I finally managed to get through all those blocks of text, and this game looks fun.

[Teal Mage]

Sign-ups are open until I say they're not!

And they're still open. Feel free to submit a character, Rhiya.

I apologize for the delay in the thread again! Something came up on the pad which required my attention these past few days. Will try to reply to the updates either tonight or tomorrow, as my energy allows.

[Rhiya Ravenwing]

MEGA-EDIT: yeah, got a lot of feedback from the EduPad. Here's the revised version for you, Teal!


Name: Emme Horton
Race: Human - awakened
Gender: Female
Aura: ??? (blue?)
Age: 18
Appearance:
Emme stands an unassuming height of 5’5”, with long, straight brown hair that is normally fixed up into a neat, braided bun. Her features are cute, but easily overlooked due to a humbled posture she continuously affects. The only remarkable feature about her is her vivid emerald eyes, which sometimes almost burn (non-magically, of course) with unstoppable determination. Emme dresses conservatively, in dull colours that aim at preventing her from standing out too much. Despite some practicality issues, Emme prefers long skirts over pants, but has an array of both.

Spells:

Illusion – Inconspicoius Maid (Blue Elemental) – Small will-drain, very subtle. As a maid, Emme is taught to go about her job as inconspicuously as possible. With this minor illusion spell, Emme is able to do just that – blend into the background so as to be overlooked by many. It’s great at avoiding unnecessary confrontations, but doesn’t work at all should she get into a fight.

Mode-Shift – Quiet Determination (??? Elemental) – When a task really needs to get done, Emme may infuse her body with Will to get it done. This power is able to slightly heighten her reflex and physical capabilities, granting her an improved clarity as well as improved physical prowess. With this, she is able to speed up her task completions. Like all Mode-shift powers, this ability is very draining, and unable to be maintained for long periods of time. In combat, Quiet Determination gives her a slight edge as it enhances her ability to react as well as fight.

Summon – Extra Hand (??? Elemental) - Sometimes, a maid must multitask in order to accomplish her tasks. Emma is able to summon a ghostly hand with poltergeist-like qualities. Specifically, it is capable of accomplishing menial tasks close to her vicinity if she herself has her hands full. Extra Hand is pre-programmed, meaning Emme must know what the hand needs to do before she summons the hand to do it. Once the task is finished, the hand vanishes. Extra Hand is similar to the DnD version Mage-Hand in that it can affect up to 5lb worth of stuff. However, its duration is dependent on how much Will she needed to maintain it for the extent of its task completion.

Flash Move -Maid’s Step (??? Elemental) – A maid must be where she is needed! Functions exactly like Flash Move.

Enchantment – Broomstick Defence (??? Elemental) – Emme is trained to defend her Master/Mistress equivalent to a bodyguard. As such, she must be able to fight with whatever she has on hand – normally (and a lot more effectively) a broom or a mop. She is able to extend her Will on brooms and mops (as well as quarterstaffs) and harden/improve them so that they are lighter, can hit harder, and withstand more vicious attacks when blocking.

Attention to Detail (Perception surge) (??? elemental) - it’s the little things that matter! Emme was taught this little trick in her advanced maid training with her mother. It allows her to take a step back and observe at a heightened sight level a room and its state of cleanliness. Well, this was its original intent, but her mother had already hinted to her that Attention to detail doesn’t only apply to anything specific she might’ve missed in a room (a slightly askew picture frame, maybe the specks of dirt she missed on the windowsill, or the imperfectly-tucked bedsheet, for example), but also in paying attention and anticipating the needs of her Master/Mistress by surging and reading the nuances in their body movements. In combat, her Attention to Detail gives her brief flashes of insight into her opponent’s fighting style – that is, if she’s seen them before, and if she has, she is able to slightly anticipate what they’d do next. Otherwise she still gets the crap beaten out of her. Often times she might use this ability while others fight to garner some insight into their fighting styles.

Bio:

Emme Horton came from a line of elite butler-esque awakened lineage linked to the E.S.A. called the Elite Maids service (Sister organization to the Superior Butler Brethrens). They ply their trade mainly as ‘servants’ but also as bodyguards/overseers of E.S.A. officials and their households.
Emme herself is training to be in the employ of a high ranking – and also wealthy – household of one of the E.S.A. Witch leaders (in succession to her mother’s role), and from an early age applied herself in all she needed to know in the mundane tasks of Maidship. She held her future employment in high regard, and her mother led her in her applications (both in magic-useage once she had been awakened, to the simple tasks of running a household, as well as some very simple combat skills necessary for bodyguarding).

As one of the final training courses in order to become a fully-recognised member of the Elite Maids organization, all applicants must enrol and spend a minimum of one to two years at the Amaranth Institute for the Gifted. One further year may be allowed, should a maid show potential after surviving the two. Any candidates that had completed their studies at Amaranth Institute are then allowed to fully complete their training and step into their employment.

As such, Emme’s time has come for her final trials.

Clubs:
Home ec
Strolling
Cultural
Meditation

Notes:

Elite Maid association – an organization that is linked to the E.S.A. specializes in not only training bodyguards for the higher members in the organizations comprising E.S.A., but also making them useful (ie: running a household fully independent of the head of the House.). Sister association to the male equivalent Brethren of Butlers (really need to get better names for them)

Quarterstaff Proficiency – Emme is trained in the use of quarterstaffs and bo-staffs, due to their similarity with the most common of household equipment such as the broom and mop. However, she’s a lot better at using a broom or mop.

Language Proficiency – Emme is multilingual. Aside from the normal English, she is able to speak, read and write in French, Italian, and German. She can speak (but not write) Mandarin, and is learning how to read and write chinese.

Maid Proficiency - pretty self-explanatory. Emme is almost at the peak of her maid training, and is very damned good at her job. She's better especially with the help of her specialized spells.

Relationships:

Anna Horton – Head Maid in the employ of one of the more elite Houses of an Esteemed E.S.A organization. Emme’s loving mother, mentor, trainer. Husband deceased. Anna greatly influenced Emme’s own personal decision from a very early age to aspire to become what her mother was – a greatly respected Elite Maid at the top of her employment. In between Anna’s busy schedule as Head Maid running the Master’s house, and Emme’s own training, they still manage to take some time out to call each other over phone or the internet to chat and catch up. Anna plays mentor and loved mother to her daughter, but is not one to ‘clean up’, pun not intended, what mess Emme gets herself into, holding to the idea her daughter is old enough to handle whatever is thrown at her already

Catherine Flemington – Fellow first year student and apprentice Witch with a penchant for enchantments. 17 years old, bright, bubbly, flamboyant, and Emme’s best friend since childhood, they share a dorm room with each other, as well as a less-pleasant girl Verna. Catherine is one of Emme’s continuous assessment tasks in her Maid training – a task that had to be modified slightly due to school restrictions, but nonetheless Emme compensates for it quite well. Catherine is the typical blonde-haired, blue-eyed pretty face, and always very enthusiastic about everything. She shares Emme’s determination in her studies, and has also signed up for the Cheerleading Club.

Jennifer Nikolai – Fellow first year student, actually friend of Catherine Flemington, but also knows Emme by proxy. She’s very private and conservative. Secretly, she admires Emme’s efficiency and dedication to her tasks. She’s a proficient martial weapons apprentice, and interested as well in the crafting of the same sort. Jennifer is brown-haired, brown eyed, with a lean build. She shares the cultural club with Emme. They have a friendly – yet competitive – rivalry going on between them.

Verna Lehy – Fellow first year student and Emme’s roommate. Verna is a bit of a bully, bossy, loud, and an attention-getter. When she found out her roommate was to be a Royal Maid in training, Verna took every opportunity to take advantage of Emme’s hard working abilities, from dumping piles of dirty laundry on Emme’s bed to be washed, to leaving books, clothes, and food scraps everywhere for Emme to clean up. It irritates Verna to no end that Emme takes to her new cleaning tasks without a single word of complaint or deathly glare, rather handling everything in simple humility. She is very pretty, with a mane of beautiful fiery red hair, almond-shaped eyes with red pupils, and just the right amount of freckling sprinkled across her pale cheeks.

[Lillium]

Fully Retracted.

[Teal Mage]

Alright, time for more reviews. I will begin by saying, as much as I would like to put Rhiya and Lillium's submissions into this review, I don't believe I can manage that tonight. I'll tackle them when I'm fresh tomorrow. New characters are more difficult to review than old ones, so it may take me a while to finish me them anyway. Lot of things to weigh, and attempting to do so at 4:45 am after close to 10 hours of reviewing is not wise or fair.

So, in rough chronological order, here's what I have managed.

Relm, I am pleased to see you have been behaving yourself on the pad recently. However, I need to inform you that I have not forgotten your decision to add Gary Marshalls (one of Gemine's NPCs) to Alice Marshall's NPCs - without informing me. This addition will not be permitted. If I allowed it, Alice's backstory would cease to be acceptable. Oh, and while I have your attention? Gary's last name is different from Samuel's. This is balantly something you added on.

Therefore, I am issuing your first and only warning. As GM, any additions to approved character backstories must be run by me first. If I do not approve something, it does not exist. If you somehow slip something past me, this only means I will be very mad when I discover it. I am likely to reject it on principle at this point – and may expel you from the game. Fortunately, taking the fact that this was likely an unthinking mistake on your part into account, I feel a strong warning is sufficient – for the moment.

Step out of line like this again, or cause additional drama on the pad (as you have in the past) and I will expel you.

Now then, let us discuss your character and spells. I will start with a few miscellaneous comments:

First, Samuel Marshall has used magic to extend his life. This makes him a Non-Human. His race should be Ascended Human.

On an entirely different note, Capoeria really isn't Dance-Fighting. It's a kick-heavy Brazilian Martial-Art which uses music in its exercises and drills – but it really is not ‘Dance-Fighting.' I would recommend saying that she fights like a dancer and putting her in the Dance and/or Gymnastics club instead of Capoeria.

Moving onto spells.

Your Sigil concept is confused. Right now, it's classified as Wizardry. For that to work, Alice needs to draw a sigil, then enchant it with a spell-circle. Frankly, the spell circle does all the work and the sigil itself is unnecessary – and a bad idea. A millimeter's difference in the thickness or length of the lines (of the Sigil, I mean) would cause the enchantment to fail. You can either drop the Sigil part of this entirely or make Alice an Old Magic user. Old Magic users need to create physical things, like Sigils, for their magic to work. It fits the concept mildly better. However, it is ultimately your decision. Alice can be a Wizard without Sigils, or an Old Magic User with them. Decide.

That said, I'm able to discuss some specific aspects of your proposed spells. Most will be revisited after you decide if Alice uses Old Magic or Wizardry, but this set has been waiting for review for a while, so.

Inkfingers is excessive for a Wizard and impossible for an Old Magic User (humans can not secrete ink from their fingers). Drop the spell and use a marker instead. You can enchant the marker if you desire, but I think that would be excessive.

Rejuvenation Sigil does too much. Presently, it increases a target's natural regeneration rate, forcibly awakens an unconscious individual, increases their physical energy regeneration-rate and strengthens their resistance to mundane desires. These are different effects. Select one.

Knowledge Sigil can only be applied to a single object at a time. The enchanted object glows, though only the sensitive will notice this without actively searching for it.

Null Star Sigil will not be Grade 2. It can either reduce the Power rating of everyone within its area of influence (to cause large spells to hurt them too) or dampen all external magical effects within its area of influence. Alice is not immune to its effects. The specifics of how to set this spell up will vary heavily depending on her discipline, but I may entertain allowing this to be a Compound Spell, for viability reasons. That will be discussed later.

Keep The Rhythm is too adaptable. Rejected. A mode-shift for grace or fluidity, or a Flash Action for specific actions may be more suitable.

Skeletal Flux this ability does two things. It may either reinforce Alice's condition to that of a 'fit' individual, or she may use it to consume Will in order to keep going after her body should not be able to. If you're wondering, the latter option would not allow her to continue after being mortally wounded for long – the Will drain would be massive.

* * *

Red Mage Black, two points. First, are you changing your backstory or not? You need to tell me if Nasir still (essentially) walked from the Middle East to Amaranth for two years, or took a plane and got there a lot faster.

This will affect my review of his powers.

Originally Posted by Red Mage Black

Yeah, while he was growing up, it was more priestly training and knowledge of the other Gods which made up their tribe.

Second point, his life seems to begin immediately after getting the Brand right now. There is some indication of abilities that don't relate to it (Deny Change and Whispers on the Wind), but you haven't talked about what Nasir was being trained to be before the Brand took him. Priests can do a lot of things! His family was dedicated to the Wind God, so perhaps he was being trained to work with the weather? Maybe a healer? He could also be a craftsman, or perhaps he was being groomed to take a seat on the Council of Priests? Alternatively, maybe he was more of a Squad Mage – a Priest trained to assist warriors. He could also have been a Warrior Priest!

You should also consider what hobbies Nasir may have had.

So, would you please tell me a bit about all that? Combinations of those backgrounds also work. Regardless, whatever he was training for should be reflected in his current spell set, journey or no.

I actually have some reviews of his spell set written up, but since all of them feature a comment about how 'his background and training may affect whether or not this is appropriate,' I think it would be premature to discuss them until you clarify these points. Please do.

Also put up a fully updated bio. Everything you've done is piecemeal to date.

* * *

Originally Posted by Inbred Chocobo

I decided to go with instead multiple instructors that each teach him things something he needs, and his fandom of Secret Agent movies also plays into how he developed. I'm drawing a blank right now for any particular stand out instructors, but I can probably make some if you really need a couple. Also had martial arts training, so now he is in MMA.

Inbred, one teacher or five isn't the issue here. The part that bothers me about your bio is that the logic which underlies a key decision (his parents deciding to give him 'Secret Agent training' to keep him busy) is quite flimsy at the moment. Why not just send him to boarding school? Or put locks on the weapon-room door? Hire a Nanny?

As it stands, his parents have set-up an elaborate (and expensive) charade for…what purpose? Are his instructors supposed to be private tutors? I suppose it's logical enough that his parents want his education to be the best money can buy. But, the stuff you highlighted him learning doesn't make a lot of sense for someone who, presumably, will inherit a company. The parts that sound particularly out-of-left-field are the comments about him getting gun training, learning about royalty and (for no apparent reason!) getting an illegal hand-gun at the age of sixteen.

In short, clarify whether these lessons are home-schooling or he's also being sent to a normal/private school. Additionally, explain why his parents are springing for 'special' lessons in the first place. Oh, and cut the parts about guns and royals from his special training, please. He's getting enough handed to him on a silver platter (also there's really no reason to learn about royals in this day and age) without adding that stuff.

If you want him to have a gun-hobby, have him start going (of his own volition) to the local gun-club when it would be legal. I don't have an issue with him being taken under some War Veteran (or that James Walker guy's) wing by chance, while practicing his marksmanship. This also makes getting a handgun for a present logical - he'd need to be a serious gun-hobbyist to justify that.

Regarding the Desert Eagle specifically. I don't know if this weapon is outright illegal in the United States or just illegal for a sixteen year-old to have. Frankly, I don't care. What I do need to state is that, if the Desert Eagle is supposed to have some kind of special feature (say, reduced recoil, or armor piercing shots or a special lens) you need to tell me so. This may take up a spell slot. If you do not, it will be treated as any other gun in this setting. Also, you'll be limited to a set number of bullets – probably one full round normally (seven, I believe, is the number listed for his specific model). Spare rounds are permissible if your character is prepared for a confrontation, but please note that loading isn't a free action.

Spells can be discussed later.

Oh, and I haven't seen you on the pad for a while. Are you sure you have time/are committed to this game? Right now, spotty attendance isn't going to kill you, but once the game begins you need to keep up with the thread, post consistently (and meaningfully) or this isn't going to work.

* * *

Originally Posted by Aldurin

Shatter Strike, _ Elemental:
Naomi charges up a projectile of raw force and fires it at the target. If the target is designated before firing, then the projectile will attempt to home in on it to increase the chance of actually hitting. Grade 2.

As a reminder, this spell has a charge up (gonna say a post-length's, but it'll probably be quicker in practice), but only a Moderate Will drain. Blue Elemental, since I don't see an incantation as necessary.

Originally Posted by Aldurin

Electronic Override, Green/Blue Elemental:
Naomi has learned to be able to use magic to turn on/off simple electronic devices without needing access to the key/lever/switch. Requires physical contact with the device in question.

Incantation is either required or optional. Blue (non-incanted, requires focus) or Green (incanted), pick one. Ability itself may actually command Electricity Spirits, mechanically, by the way.

Originally Posted by Aldurin

Dermal Steel, Yellow Elemental:
Naomi uses magic to summon an invisible layer of energy over herself that reduces the force of attacks against her.

A third battle-spell for a normal-girl with a healing focus? Reduce Shatter Strike's Grade, drop Strength Surge and make this spell into a skin-hardening/damage cushioning ability (see Red Mage Black's review above) instead of an invisible shield, and you might get away with it. As it stands though, it doesn't fit.

* * *

Originally Posted by DanteFalcon

Few more edits in his backstory, trying to make the difference between "Charismatic" and "Nice" more clear. Changed Publicity club to Veterinary Club.

Also Ophiuchus is...just the most logical choice for him. Its been debated as the thirteenth zodiac for quite a long time so it would be the easiest to potentially bring into Astrology.

Alright Dante, I haven't much else to say. Possibly check to see if any one on the pad wants to have Ben as a roommate? Oh, No Time to Write only activates while he's under stress, if I haven't said so before.

Regarding your remaining prospective spell-slots. Tell me which of his four clubs Ben would focus on most and I'll suggest a few things. I should note that the Veterinary club requires you to raise a pet while you're in it, so he probably got a snake from them. Additionally, Writing club requires you to write a blog, if either of these details help.

Ah, actually. He's probably picked this trick up from Meditation.

Calm Down – Black Elemental.
Crazy mysticism or not, the Meditation club's breathing exercises work wonders. By focusing on a particular breathing pattern and willing himself to calm down, Ben is able to invoke a supernatural sense of calm on himself. This technique actually triggers a Mode-Shift, which remains active until the user stops the breathing pattern. Celestial Intuition still activates in combination with this ability.

I suppose a different breathing technique could be appropriate, but this seemed simple and useful, so I thought I'd offer it.

Right, that'll be it for me. Like I said, Rhiya and Lillium will be reviewed tomorrow. I may end up editing this post to add them in – will send PMs to notify you when I put something up, so don't worry about missing it.

Edit: Aw damnit, I forgot to answer _phil's question. Sorry. I'll get to it tomorrow.

[Teal Mage]

Originally Posted by phil_

Short version: Can one make a living on magic?

Short Answer: No.

Longer Answer: Not exactly. Magic may primarily be viewed as a weapon in this game – hence the strict guidelines for its control and application. However, it is true that most Magicians do not regularly fight monsters and demons – magic does have more practical applications than killing people. The spell-growth aspect of MTPL! is actually based around these ‘more practical’ applications – clubs encourage students to use their magic to improve the quality of their work, or meet challenges that are not strictly related to combat, to help them prepare for a life where overt magical displays are simply impractical.

Put another way, magic may – and in-fact, should be – used to improve the quality of work you put out in your day job. A magician must be careful not to create overtly magical objects, and therefore, they must walk a very fine line. However, the Masquerade does not prevent Doctors from using spells to subtly improve the health of their patents (though curing Cancer miraculously is another story entirely – some plausible explanation must be maintained), nor does it prevent a baker from making their products taste better (making them addicting, on the other hand, might cause problems – if such a thing is detected, that is). The Guilds believe that, while revealing magic to the general public will cause more harm than good, there is value to using it carefully to provide benefits. Consequentially, Guilds officially encourage such actions.

But no, in the modern world, outside of working an Administrative, Educational or Military-esque position, you can not live on magic alone. Oh, Government Organizations also have Research positions - dedicated to finding ways to do what the Guilds do, without so much specialization or decentralization.

Originally Posted by phil_

Or could one ever, historically?

In the past, when belief in magic was more widespread, people could make a living as magicians more obviously, yes. However, these people still needed to provide some sort of service – magical healing was probably the most common one. Nobles might have kept magicians on staff for more combat oriented uses. Priests, associated with the Catholic Church, had a larger (and vaguely Military-esque) role in the past as well.

This arrangement is still present, to varying degrees, in less-developed countries.

* * *

Good news Rhiya! Your bio requires very little attention from me. Backstory, relationships and clubs all check out. I have a few comments about some of your spells and the Elite Ma - Oh you changed the name in your edits? Elite Maid Sisterhood, then. Gonna work off what's on the pad, but please post an updated bio on the forums when you have a chance.

Let's start with some basic stuff. Inconspicuous Maid, as I recall, also requires her to avoid making aggressive or attention drawing movements, while the spell is active, so add a note about that to the spell. Otherwise, that one's fine. Broomstick Defense is also fine - the ability works on most objects she can get ahold of.

Quiet Determination works, going by the form on the pad. A physical boost increases the amount of power her muscles can put out - her jumps will go further, she hits harder and etc. Downside is that it'll put a fair stress on her body, though the Will drain is around moderate, as far as Mode-Shifts go. Whether or not this is the best way to get Emme a 'get serious' mode is another matter. The two alternate options I can think of would be something like a competency boosting mode-shift, wherein she emulates a master of her style (like her mom?), or a luck enchantment. The former wouldn't improve her attributes, but would allow her to act more rapidly (not quite a reflex boost, but close), while the latter would prevent her from getting tripped up by outside influences. If you'd prefer a straight-up attribute boost though, like I said, fine. It would be Yellow Elemental, in that case.

Moving onto Summon: Extra Hand. I don't have a large issue with this, but I would like to clarify its limitations. Right now, Emme needs to know what the hand will do before she calls it, using a Wizard Spell, I think. I would recommend making the command she gives the hand at least partially verbal. Since its a Wizard spell, it probably needs to be Latin (incidentally, when speaking a foreign language in this game, unless you know the phonetics of the words, just write what you want to say in italicized, quoted, English). Even if the command is simple and short, Emme can use her thoughts to fill in details. The spoken command, incidentally, would prevent the hand from getting completely confused if she has a poorly placed stray thought.

Regarding further limitations: The hand must remain relatively close to Emme, it can levitate, is invisible (through obvious to the Awakened) and is relatively weak (though I won't give it a strict weight limit). Assuming there's a Mental or Spoken command involved, it would be Green. Teal if the command is purely Mental. Once the task Emme set for it is fulfilled, it vanishes. She can only have one hand summoned at a time. After the hand is summoned, Emme may continue to use spells (its not a Mode-Shift). Altering or adding to the command would be a relatively easy free cast, incidentally.

Oh, minor additional question: Does this summon a spirit from another location? If so, is the spirit a real ghost that Emme bound to her, or an artificial ghost someone (maybe Emme) created? The alternative would be to make this into something she creates each time she uses the spell - making it less a Summon Spell and more, well, a normal one.

Maid's Step. If this is just Flash Step, fine. However, I thought you wanted the long range variant of Flash Move? As a review, Flash Move requires Emme to stop moving and generate a spell circle (the sending circle) beneath herself, before firing an invisible projectile for magical energy. The projectile bursts on contact with a physical obstruction and creates a second spell circle (the receptor circle). Emme is then able to teleport instantly between these two locations. In theory, the order that these circles are created isn't important (though if she's not careful, the spell might fail, since this would technically be a free-cast) but the spell requires her to stop moving for an instant before the teleport can occur, and she needs to be fully within the sending circle to activate this spell. It's Blue Elemental. Flash Step is Yellow.

Originally Posted by Rhiya Ravenwing

Elite Maids Sisterhood – a largely independent organization with a seat on the ESA. The Sisterhood specializes in training prized bodyguards for the higher members of any organization - extending from the ESA Households, to even the Witches, Wizards and even the Blacks' government. They are also simultaneously highly trained individuals very capable in other mundane fields (ie: running and managing a Household fully independent to the head of the House). The Maids Sisterhood is in association to the male equivalent Brethren of Butlers.

I would mention that their links to the Government Organizations would probably be tenuous at best. Guilds and Government Organizations have a cool relationship at best - using agents of the Guilds, even if they represent a particularly neutral and independent faction within them, to guard their higher-ups would be something they'd be extremely wary of. Government Organizations ultimately want to reduce the influence of Guilds, after all.

Beyond that, I would also suggest either making the organization gender-neutral with a deceptive name (like the Witch's or Wizard's Guilds) or simply giving it a gender neutral name, rather than make two organizations divided strictly along gender-lines. Doing that seems to needlessly overcomplicate things, without adding significantly to the flavour. Seems easier to collapse them into a single body - even if Maids and Butlers would be housed/trained separately – unless you can think of a good reason to keep them divided, that is?

Alright, that stuff said! Please post an updated bio as soon as possible.

* * *

Originally Posted by Relm Zephyrous

Fleshing out Fighting Style
Her preferred style of fighting at a range is with grenade like thrown projectiles. Mainly for when subtlety isn't as much of an issue as outright stopping somebody. I don't suspect that grenades will be available to any degree though, so the most I expect this to come into play in-rp is being able to throw small round things accurately, or maybe chucking rocks at people.

Wow.

Okay, Relm? This is the same thing I just warned you about doing. The way you phrased that makes it sound as those Alice was always intended to have throwing skills and specialize in hucking munitions at people. This isn't remotely implied in your profile. But, it sounds as though you were gonna put this in anyway.

That's bad. It's also an incredibly stupid thing to do, on the bunch of levels. The least of which being Capoeria requires your hands to be free to use the moves properly, and does not leave openings to throw grenades at people. A wholly different point is that, as a Wizard, using mundane munitions instead of a spell is pretty dumb and expensive.

However, it is precisely because this is overwhelming stupid that I won't expel you, this time. Make no mistake, you messed up. But, I'm just going to assume you didn't understand my warning, rather than that you knowingly broke the rules. To be clear: If something isn't clearly present in your profile, do not pretend that it was. Do it again and you're done. Other kinds of stupid will get warnings, for now.

Originally Posted by Relm Zephyrous

To Arms
Summons dexterous and firm battle gauntlets/boots onto her limbs. These are nimble but hard, and are able to withstand blows about as well as any other metal weapon.

Changing focus, since this spell suggests you don't quite understand the constraints your character is under, skill-wise. Taking a Summoning Spell for weapons is fine, but it suggests that you believe your character to be a trained fighter and an experienced mage. I would like to be clear that your character's backstory will only give you an academically skilled Wizard, with perhaps the barest basics of combat training. She is not, and will not be, a full-fledged Enforcer (or even a skilled martial Artist were you to drop the magic aspect altogether).

The reason I'm limiting you like this is quite simple. You, the player, have not conducted yourself in a way that treats martial arts or magic as 'serious' things. Therefore, I do believe your characters will not treat them appropriately either. You'll have the opportunity to prove otherwise in-game, but you won't be beginning the game with huge advantages by virtue of a particularly advantageous backstory alone.

Originally Posted by Relm Zephyrous

Everyone told me Capoeria was dance-fighting. I just imagined her doing something with listening to music a lot of the time.

Fleshing out Fighting Style
Her preferred style of fighting at melee is Capoeira, with spells augments herself and dampens the magic of the opponent.
Her preferred style of fighting at a range is with grenade like thrown projectiles. Mainly for when subtlety isn't as much of an issue as outright stopping somebody. I don't suspect that grenades will be available to any degree though, so the most I expect this to come into play in-rp is being able to throw small round things accurately, or maybe chucking rocks at people.

Its clear to me that you don't understand what Capoeria is. Here is an example video of how Capoeria works in battle. Granted, it doesn't get into real fighting 'til near the end and the beginning is quite scripted, but it is a good demonstration. Capoeria isn't 'dance' fighting. Fighting like a dancer is different - therefore, I will be making Maria (Alice's current Martial Arts instructor) fight like a Dancer. Alice may know the basics of her style (IE: How to dance normally), not how to fight. If you pursue Capoeria in Amaranth, that's your decision, but you won't be starting with that style.

Additionally, while I had originally intended to leave most of the details surrounding Alice's attendance at Amaranth a secret, I've decided to inform you of several of these changes. I've also included a few clarifying details, required to make her backstory make sense.

Alice is a foundling found by Maria and raised, essentially, as a princess in a magically concealed castle in the Irish country-side. Maria, incidentally, is Samuel Marshall's second wife. Alice was denied little by her foster-mother (Maria raised her, primarily) - save the freedom to leave the castle (it appears Alice didn't want that anyway) and formal combat training. Maria would have liked to train her as an Enforcer from birth, but Samuel insisted that, while it would a disgrace for her to be raised in this castle without knowing some magic, as she is not a true Ex Nihilo, and could not be trusted to as an Enforcer until she was tested. Consequently, Alice was allowed to live a normal - well, normal enough - life, which just happened to contain some magical instruction. It would be acceptable for her to learn one or two battle spells for self-defense reasons, incidentally.

Now, she's being sent to Amaranth to prove she can follow in the family business. Upon reflection, I'll also allow Gary Marshall (if Gem approves it) to be one of her elder siblings (not by birth) who was sent to Amaranth a year before. I will note that their relationship won't be terribly happy - he doesn't like her overmuch.

If these constraints and modifications aren't suitable for you, you can design a new character to play. However, if the new character is worse than Alice (or no better) I'll end the review process there.

Ball's in your court, regarding her initial spell set. Don't plan on getting Grade 2 spells without in-character justifications for how hard she'll have to work for them, though. Magic is really hard, and no one's going to push her to learn tricks.

* * *

Right, aside from the club-based levels (I'll get to those in a moment), I suppose Naomi's fine. She's technically at the point she'd be when entering Amaranth - just need to cover the past two months.

Her four clubs are...Fitness, Veterinary, Computer and Meditation. I'll give you a quick run-down of what goes on in them and then I'd like you to pick two Grade 1 abilities for your character to learn, which are thematically appropriate to two of those clubs. Alternatively, I am willing to consider boosting the grade of a pre-existing ability if it applies to the club at hand - but no promises there. Upping a Grade is hard.

Keep in mind that your character's pre-existing training and knowledge limits what they may learn.

As I implied to Dante, Meditation's first two months are mainly about breathing/relaxation techniques and learning to sit in one place for long periods of time. Very little martial stuff goes on at this point, and most of the more academic elements relate to anatomy (specifically, breathing!) or Buddhism, with bits of Daoism and Shintoism thrown in. Emphasis so far has been overwhelmingly on getting the basics of Meditation down, though. The idea that everything is connected has also been stressed. Compared to other clubs, relatively light homework, for now. Meets daily for Meditation sessions.

Fitness Club is pretty straight-up. The goal of the club is to teach students to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Surprisingly theory heavy - there's a lot about anatomy that students need to learn. Most topics are related to exercise, like sports injuries (and how to avoid them), but there's also information on vitamins, diet, first aide and some simple disease prevention tips. More practically, students need to exercise regularly, and are frequently tested on how 'fit' they are - which includes blood tests to determine if they're eating right. The test is probably magical! It's also accurate. Something like a Sports/Naturalist Medicine program, with a Gym Membership rolled in.

Veterinary Club! This is the closest thing you'd get to a real medicine course in Amaranth. You learn about injuries (predicting, diagnosing and treating), anatomy (mostly animal anatomy, but it's not without application in humans) different diseases (how to diagnose, prevent and some cures) and also need to raise a pet (you select the breed and the club provides it) while you're enrolled in the club. Very heavy theory component - there's a lot of information to take in.

Computer Club, unlike more of Amaranth's clubs, is pretty straight up. First few weeks are a brush-up on practical applications of basic programs - should be pretty easy for Naomi or anyone raised in Human Society. Gets into programming assignments - gradually building in complexity - afterward. Workload gets pretty high - it's similar to most Art classes, in that a new project is due basically every three days. Periodically, you're required to play videogames and write reports on them, instead of assignments.

So, please rank the clubs in order of most focused on to least focused on - then submit some spells. They probably should match the clubs she's putting most of her effort into, though it depends on the rationale she has for learning the spell (some students develop spells to make clubs they're not focusing on easier, after all).

* * *

Originally Posted by Red Mage Black

Appearance: 6'1"(182.5cm or 1.83m), shoulder length black hair, dark skin, eyes that are gold during the day and silver at night, tattoo under his right eye(Mark of The Wanderer, not an actual tattoo, but might look like one to people who don't know what it actually is). Wears his desert/religious clothing, which includes the light billowy clothing all in varying desert hues which include sand and how it appears during the day and the night, a cloak with a hood, a carved stone mask that bears a design of the Wanderer's Mark(painted on) and is kept strapped to the hood of his cloak when not in use and last but not least sandals on his feet.

Oh! I forgot to mention, the Wanderer's Mark varies with each Priest. It's a series of lines - sometimes they're uniform in shape/thickness/color, but sometimes they are different - placed in a design of some kind. Asked Girasol to see if she could come up with anything, but the ultimate decision of what Nasir's mark looks like belongs to you, Red.

Originally Posted by Red Mage Black

His finer manipulation of the wind and his ability to call lightning from a clear sky. Spells inherited from his own blood. Lesser abilities were confirmed to be the minor ability to heal, a very useful ability on a battlefield and the ability to harden his body against attacks on his person. Despite the fact The Wanderer only takes one priest every lifetime and constantly putting himself on the battlefield would be a danger, Nasir continued his training regardless.

I should mention that, aside from his Wind God's blessing, he shouldn't have any innate skills or talents to confirm. They ought to be skills that any magician in his tribe, with the proper training, can manage. Like, I could see if his family was dedicated to the God/Goddess of Healing Winds, he might get Healing and Wind stuff innately, but there'd be drawbacks to a hybrid purview like that. Regardless you'll need to specify what his blessing is associated with in the bio.

Otherwise, backstory looks good. I am going to assume the last Witch he met gave him some winter clothing, though.

Originally Posted by Red Mage Black

Whispers of the Storm
Before his training as The Chosen of The Wanderer, Nasir was starting to master the elements of his family's deity, which started with weather. By continuous chanting, Nasir can eventually change the direction of the wind and turn it into a strong gale.

So, does this spell require it to be windy to use? Don't think there's a way to work this spell without it being Grade 2. Second grade doesn't seem justified by his background, so you're looking at a spell with a long charge-time that blows a gale in a direction from Nasir, or a quick spell the temporarily strengthens a pre-existing wind. A moderately strong wind, or a focused gale-blast (equivalent of Sean's original Blizzard spell) would reflexive casts, but less weather focused. All of the above options are yellow, assuming you go with Nasir's original blessing relating to a Wind God.

A different sort of spell would be one which allows him to alter the direction of a pre-existing natural wind, within a certain range from his position. Requires him to attune to the wind first/spread his magical influence through it, then speak a command in Arabic. Changing the direction of the Wind isn't a quick action, either though. Strengthening or stopping could be done as a free-cast, but they're a lot harder, comparatively (and in ascending order of difficulty). Alternative there would just be a spell with a long incantation - slightly different with each direction. Wouldn't have the option to stop/strengthen it. Former is Chartreuse (Yellow-Green), might be more expensive, second is Green. Neither is cheap.

Starting or stopping winds are wholly different spells, incidentally. Shorter range of effect is faster casting, as a rule.

Originally Posted by Red Mage Black

Staff Fighting Mastery
Part of growing up in the tribe is knowing how to fight the dangers in the desert and whatever foes to the many faiths you may come across. Although only armed with a walking stick, the principle is the same, defensive and to keep the enemy from approaching. Though with each strike, from the side or from the tip, Nasir adds a little bit of force, like wind, for a knockback. The walking stick is specifically enchanted for not only this purpose but to deliver his other elemental spells.

Relatively simple, I suppose. Staff's designed (see: the script makes it 'part' of him) to channel his Demonic-Powers, allowing him to augment his strikes with pulses of wind. Relatively little Will drain, though...uh. I'd suggest that using a casting focus as a melee weapon isn't smart - if the script is damaged, the spell in question could backfire/fizzle when he tries it. That said, since this script just allows him to channel his tainted power through the staff, if its damaged it shouldn't backfire, just fizzle.

Originally Posted by Red Mage Black

Ignite Object
Days walking through the Alaskan Wilderness were cold, but the nights were even more brutally so. The tip from the Witch's Guild representative gave him good advice, "Learn to start a fire or make it out of nothing," this was for refusing the much easier route of being driven to Amaranth. Considering the elements of The Wanderer, this was much easier than was thought. By pressing the tip of his walking stick against a block of wood and channeling throught the stick, he can set it on fire, wet or dry.

Seems easier to learn a spell which creates a barrier of against the cold, by drawing on the Brand alone. Regardless, Walking Stick's unnecessary, since this is demonic - should probably be touch-based.

Little confused about the final part of the 'can burn wet wood' bit, though. Does it only burn wood of any kind? Or is the fire supposed to be ever-burning (and non-fuel consuming)? Just really, really hot? Created magically by using the Wanderer's power to force the material to be flammable? Either the wood-only fire or the ever-burning fire seem the most useful in that situation. Former is much cheaper and more powerful because of how specific it is (runs out when the will invested is used up, but great efficiency rate). Latter either has a high cost initially, or require a steady Will investment (ei: Mode Shift). It's also a lot more versatile.

Originally Posted by Red Mage Black

Healing Heart
Training as a battle priest meant not only training to disable or destroy the enemy, but healing your own warriors so that they may fight another day. Not one of his strongest spells, he must first touch the wounded and chant the prayers of healing, albeit this would be for more minor wounds.

So, what does this do? If it's 'speeds healing of wounds' Nasir needs to touch the wound and chant the basic prayer of healing. Basic ability wouldn't heal more than superficial wounds. He'd need to extend it via free-casting, continue chanting the prayer and keep his focus to deal with larger wounds.

Originally Posted by Red Mage Black

Deny The Infidel - Defense Surge -
Learning how to defend yourself is key to any encounter with hostiles and this is something that's emphasized greatly to the tribe's warriors and battle priests. It is also offensive to strike the priests first, but while the defense isn't perfect, it can prevent much greater injuries. By chanting the prayer of protection, Nasir hardens his skin to cushion blows in whatever form they take, be it blunt, slashing or piercing.

'fraid that hardening your skin won't help much against (strong) blunt damage or pain. You'd want this to be reflexive, not chant-based. Yellow. Relatively high drain, he can't move or breathe while it's active. High physical stress. Technically closer Modeshift, since you can hold it as long as you want, but can't cast spells while its active. More expensive than your usual shifts, though.

Different options are pain-canceling surge/modeshifts, anti-blunt defenses, or an invisible barrier around his whole body. Barrier is more expensive but, provided he has a Wind-blessing, he can make it work with Yellow magic like the others.

Originally Posted by Red Mage Black

Clubs -
Fitness
Martial Arts [Advanced - Bojutsu]
Meditation
Wilderness

Would Nasir really be interested in 'Fitness?' I'm surprised. It seems so...shallow, at a glance. I suppose if he sticks around long enough to get into the medical stuff, it'd be alright. But I don't know if he'd even try that club in the first place.

Regarding the Martial Arts (Advanced) club. His abilities suggest he's more of a hybrid than a Melee-specialist anyway - which is the only way he'd get into an Advanced class. If you want to shift his skills around to reflect that, go ahead. As it is, he seems to lean more toward the magic side (weather and healing spells are really hard) than the melee side anyway, even if he'd be passable in both.

Meditation and Wilderness fit.

Ah, should note, I count one ability from his great journey, and four from before the journey. He should have room for one more pre-journey spell and one more journey spell. See what you can come up with. Oh, though large-scale weather spells (smaller ones might be alright) and healing spells are more difficult than other abilities, as a note – improving your existing ones (or learning more) will probably push you into Mage territory.

Originally Posted by Red Mage Black

Misc -
The staff itself is enchanted to be able to cast spells with, with tiny markings over it and was hardened previously to be able to use for melee combat as well.

Only one spell in here seems reliant on the staff? This is just as well though, I suppose, since putting multiple spells on the same object is dangerous - if the caster's overly hurried, they may accidentally activate the wrong symbol on the staff.

I'm assuming the staff is made of bone? Wood would be hard to find (and rare) in a desert.

Originally Posted by Red Mage Black

Book of prayers - Just what it says, a book of prayers to not only The Wanderer, but a few other deities from his tribe as well. Contains the prayer of healing(Healing Heart) and the prayer of protection(Deny The Infidel). It's usually chained to the belt around his waist, a hook through the bottom of the spine and one at the top which can be undone so he can hold it freely, with a small length of silk tied around it to hold it shut when not in use. All the prayers inside are written in Arabic, including the spell prayers.

A book of spells, eh? Well, I suppose the other characters can phone their parents for help/advice (or might have a book of their own), so, sure, why not. All spells written in here fall under free-casting, if they aren't in your bio.

* * *

Originally Posted by Teal Mage

Regarding your remaining prospective spell-slots. Tell me which of his four clubs Ben would focus on most and I'll suggest a few things. I should note that the Veterinary club requires you to raise a pet while you're in it, so he probably got a snake from them. Additionally, Writing club requires you to write a blog, if either of these details help.

Ah, actually. He's probably picked this trick up from Meditation.

Calm Down – Black Elemental.
Crazy mysticism or not, the Meditation club's breathing exercises work wonders. By focusing on a particular breathing pattern and willing himself to calm down, Ben is able to invoke a supernatural sense of calm on himself. This technique actually triggers a Mode-Shift, which remains active until the user stops the breathing pattern. Celestial Intuition still activates in combination with this ability.

I suppose a different breathing technique could be appropriate, but this seemed simple and useful, so I thought I'd offer it.

Still waiting for that list! You have another spell slot.

Anyway, I see Lilluim edited her bio. 'fraid I don’t have time to get to it tonight. I'm going in for a minor surgery tomorrow, so I also won't be around for the next few days. Sorry everyone, I'll continue where I left off when I get back. Sorry about typoes, no time for a real proof-read.

[Red Mage Black]

Originally Posted by Teal Mage

* * *

Oh! I forgot to mention, the Wanderer's Mark varies with each Priest. It's a series of lines - sometimes they're uniform in shape/thickness/color, but sometimes they are different - placed in a design of some kind. Asked Girasol to see if she could come up with anything, but the ultimate decision of what Nasir's mark looks like belongs to you, Red.

Edit: Gira already finished it and it looks good. Here it is.

I should mention that, aside from his Wind God's blessing, he shouldn't have any innate skills or talents to confirm. They ought to be skills that any magician in his tribe, with the proper training, can manage. Like, I could see if his family was dedicated to the God/Goddess of Healing Winds, he might get Healing and Wind stuff innately, but there'd be drawbacks to a hybrid purview like that. Regardless you'll need to specify what his blessing is associated with in the bio.

Otherwise, backstory looks good. I am going to assume the last Witch he met gave him some winter clothing, though.

Major Edit: Clarified which one was from a blessing on his family, which one he uses the mark for and which ones he learned during priest training that the other priests of his tribe could learn. Though I'm sure they'd allow some leeway for spells if it benefited the tribe as a whole.

So, does this spell require it to be windy to use? Don't think there's a way to work this spell without it being Grade 2. Second grade doesn't seem justified by his background, so you're looking at a spell with a long charge-time that blows a gale in a direction from Nasir, or a quick spell the temporarily strengthens a pre-existing wind. A moderately strong wind, or a focused gale-blast (equivalent of Sean's original Blizzard spell) would reflexive casts, but less weather focused. All of the above options are yellow, assuming you go with Nasir's original blessing relating to a Wind God.

A different sort of spell would be one which allows him to alter the direction of a pre-existing natural wind, within a certain range from his position. Requires him to attune to the wind first/spread his magical influence through it, then speak a command in Arabic. Changing the direction of the Wind isn't a quick action, either though. Strengthening or stopping could be done as a free-cast, but they're a lot harder, comparatively (and in ascending order of difficulty). Alternative there would just be a spell with a long incantation - slightly different with each direction. Wouldn't have the option to stop/strengthen it. Former is Chartreuse (Yellow-Green), might be more expensive, second is Green. Neither is cheap.

Starting or stopping winds are wholly different spells, incidentally. Shorter range of effect is faster casting, as a rule.

EDIT: Suppose I'll redo this one as well:
Power of the Wind - -
Nasir's affinity for wind showed itself when he first started his training. Long before he was marked, his family was capable of controlling the wind, an innate ability inherited by The Wanderer's blessing. By thrusting his palm outward towards the opponent, Nasir sends a small, but strong gale of wind at his in opponent in a bid to knock them off balance or knock them back or knock them over. However, the more distance there is between him and his opponent, the weaker the attack becomes. From a strong gale force wind to a strong breeze.

(I'm meaning this one to be a short cast and I wanted to limit it by line of sight, but that's your call. The little history of the blessing of wind control is just the general idea of how he knows the spell. Just clarifying it isn't that advanced yet.)

Relatively simple, I suppose. Staff's designed (see: the script makes it 'part' of him) to channel his Demonic-Powers, allowing him to augment his strikes with pulses of wind. Relatively little Will drain, though...uh. I'd suggest that using a casting focus as a melee weapon isn't smart - if the script is damaged, the spell in question could backfire/fizzle when he tries it. That said, since this script just allows him to channel his tainted power through the staff, if its damaged it shouldn't backfire, just fizzle.

I addressed most, if not part of this in the 'staff composition' question further down, but still using it for combat. I like the risk, at least.

Seems easier to learn a spell which creates a barrier of against the cold, by drawing on the Brand alone. Regardless, Walking Stick's unnecessary, since this is demonic - should probably be touch-based.

Little confused about the final part of the 'can burn wet wood' bit, though. Does it only burn wood of any kind? Or is the fire supposed to be ever-burning (and non-fuel consuming)? Just really, really hot? Created magically by using the Wanderer's power to force the material to be flammable? Either the wood-only fire or the ever-burning fire seem the most useful in that situation. Former is much cheaper and more powerful because of how specific it is (runs out when the will invested is used up, but great efficiency rate). Latter either has a high cost initially, or require a steady Will investment (ei: Mode Shift). It's also a lot more versatile.

EDIT: Going to go with cold barrier for this one, since it seems a little simpler.

Warding off the Cold - -
While the desert nights were cold, the Alaskan wilderness was colder and even the winter clothes wouldn't be able to keep away the full chill. So, using The Wanderer's affinity to fire, Nasir created a way to keep himself from freezing to death. By calling upon the Mark, Nasir creates a small field of warm air around his body, rejecting the chill of wind and natural cold air.

So, what does this do? If it's 'speeds healing of wounds' Nasir needs to touch the wound and chant the basic prayer of healing. Basic ability wouldn't heal more than superficial wounds. He'd need to extend it via free-casting, continue chanting the prayer and keep his focus to deal with larger wounds.

Yeah, that's what I was going for with this one. It's severely limited, but it's also one of the ones that most, if not all of the priests in his tribe learn, some more dedicated than others and it will be kept to free casting to make it stronger. Yeah, free casting is a risk, but I'm mostly doing it this way to reflect him focusing on the other facets of his powers.

'fraid that hardening your skin won't help much against (strong) blunt damage or pain. You'd want this to be reflexive, not chant-based. Yellow. Relatively high drain, he can't move or breathe while it's active. High physical stress. Technically closer Modeshift, since you can hold it as long as you want, but can't cast spells while its active. More expensive than your usual shifts, though.

Different options are pain-canceling surge/modeshifts, anti-blunt defenses, or an invisible barrier around his whole body. Barrier is more expensive but, provided he has a Wind-blessing, he can make it work with Yellow magic like the others.

I believe the original was an invisible barrier, so I'll go with that instead. I remember mentioning it almost being something like a 'kinetic barrier'. Yeah, reflexive would work better, too.

Deny The Infidel (Reworked) - -
The heat of battle can be deadly and the warrior priests of the tribe lack the proper armaments to fully defend themselves in combat. This is one of the first spells taught to warrior priests and a valuable asset. If he sees an attack coming, Nasir reflexively creates a kinetic barrier between himself and whatever physical attack is coming his way, meant to cushion blows instead of just blocking them.

(If only because blocking them would probably take up more will and wouldn't last as long.)

Would Nasir really be interested in 'Fitness?' I'm surprised. It seems so...shallow, at a glance. I suppose if he sticks around long enough to get into the medical stuff, it'd be alright. But I don't know if he'd even try that club in the first place.

Regarding the Martial Arts (Advanced) club. His abilities suggest he's more of a hybrid than a Melee-specialist anyway - which is the only way he'd get into an Advanced class. If you want to shift his skills around to reflect that, go ahead. As it is, he seems to lean more toward the magic side (weather and healing spells are really hard) than the melee side anyway, even if he'd be passable in both.

Meditation and Wilderness fit.

Yeah, I didn't quite see what Fitness was about until your review. So, I believe I can change that to Strolling. Have to remind myself not to listen to everything the people in chat say.

EDIT: Yeah... I guess regular MA would be good then? I chose Bojutsu because staff fighting is mostly defensive, which I at least thought was fitting for the Staff Fighting Mastery spell slot.

Ah, should note, I count one ability from his great journey, and four from before the journey. He should have room for one more pre-journey spell and one more journey spell. See what you can come up with. Oh, though large-scale weather spells (smaller ones might be alright) and healing spells are more difficult than other abilities, as a note – improving your existing ones (or learning more) will probably push you into Mage territory.

EDIT: Might have an idea for the pre-journey. Kind of priestly, I guess?
Praise the Strong - -
In combat, sometimes enemies are harder to kill or disable without a little help despite the best efforts of a warrior. By reciting a battle chant, as long as the target of this can hear him and even through language barriers, Nasir can increase the physical strength of an ally to help break through even tough defenses.

Journey idea:
Steady Footing - -
Not all paths are straight and narrow or flat and winding, some are slippery and wet or move around, making it hard to stay standing. While crossing through many lands and over many kinds of geology, Nasir found it necessary to find a way to keep his balance no matter what it was. By channeling his will through his equilibrium, he can keep steady whether the ground is shaking, slippery or if someone is trying to knock him off balance.

Only one spell in here seems reliant on the staff? This is just as well though, I suppose, since putting multiple spells on the same object is dangerous - if the caster's overly hurried, they may accidentally activate the wrong symbol on the staff.

I'm assuming the staff is made of bone? Wood would be hard to find (and rare) in a desert.

Yeah, I was thinking of going with bone. Whale bone would need to be considerably carved down due to weight, but there have been rumors of the bones of giants that could actually work. That and the fact it would be more useful to actually take a hit. The other option was 'neem', which is a type of tree that grows around that area, but a glance at the wiki page for it suggests it has more medicinal use than any structural use outside of making strong rope.

A book of spells, eh? Well, I suppose the other characters can phone their parents for help/advice (or might have a book of their own), so, sure, why not. All spells written in here fall under free-casting, if they aren't in your bio.

* * *

Book of spells isn't what I was actually going for. It's more along the vein of morning/afternoon/evening prayers, for meals, bedtime and that sort of deal.
The healing one was to keep it all in one book. Also written in it is the Battle Chant, but that's less reading from it than it is a careful reminder in case he forgets and also a little motivation for himself.


All in all:

MAJOR EDIT: Okay, so I may try something like hybridization later, when it's a little more effective than being a jack of all trades with crappy magic and melee.