Genius Coworkers

[Bells]

As i stand here, right now, typing this. 2 ft away to my left there is a coworker of mine... please allow me to run you through just one single example of his brightness.

We were going to inspect all Fire Extinguishers in the company, 32 total, they all have Paper tags on them for you to register when was the inspection done and who did it.

The law does not require these tags to be ON the fire extinguisher though. Since quite a few of these stand outside in the weather, you can imagine why... i tell him this, i make a central control sheet so we can do all inspections in a single sheet of paper that we can sign, scan, and keep digitally in our server... he still wants to do the paper tags ''cause i dunno''... so, y'know what? I got shit to do... you go ahead take your full day of work to do just that. (and he did.)

But that's not the bright spot. Oh no...

These tags mind you, they are just a paper cut out with 3 collums "Date of inspection" "Name of inspector" and ''signature'' and that's it. That's the system...

You see, just like i told him, he found that 6 of these tags were already ruined by the weather, like they always do. So he decides on his own to take one of the good tags, makes a xerox copy of it......... he then proceeds to cut with a pair of scissors the blank portion of this copied tag, to which he glues to another blank sheet of paper that he will make copies of that he will then cut to format and proceed to Laminate them, so that they all may hang outside... and he will just write with a whiteboard marker over the laminated for the inspections.

That's his plan.

Bask in it's glory... c'mon. Bask in it.





....c'mon now friends, share your woes with me on this one. I Know you have stories to tell...

[Flarecobra]

Two co-workers were killing some time by playing hangman. It was a 4-letter word.

Coworker 1: Is there an "I?"
Coworker 2: No.
Coworker 1: Is the word "Iraq?"

And everyone within earshot just gives him one of those looks. You know what I'm talking about.

[shiney]

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I had a colleague at my last job who sincerely believes aliens rule the world and have been coming here for thousands of years to steal all the Earths gold because it can give them and humans long life. Their technology to travel ftl works by travelling "between the wavelengths of light, and so it's ftl."

He knows this because he read an article on the internet, so it must be true.

[Aerozord]

I had a co-worker try to argue that economy doesn't exist. Not that it has issues, or anything about currency. No, that economy as a concept doesn't exist.

[pochercoaster]

I have a co-worker who is a sweetheart and a great employee, but she's also a conspiracy theorist and believes in all kinds of wacky stuff like chemtrails. She's always talking about how the golden age is coming and how all the corruption will "flow" out of society. Upon googling some of the stuff she said, I found this website.

Edit: She also believes that underwire bras are bad for you, not because they're uncomfortable and restrictive for many women, but because the wires "attract radiation." She drinks collodial silver and pushes it on me when I'm sick despite the fact that I'm not interested. She also believes that often fatal illnesses like cancer can be overcome solely with a positive attitude and doesn't believe in traditional medicine. (In that sense she's not such a sweetheart.)

[Bells]

Originally Posted by pochercoaster

I found this website.

Ok, now, THAT is some Geocities bullshit right there

[Aldurin]

A boss from one of the other shifts where I work decided that we could reduce the amount of machine scrap from flawed product by reducing the size of the buckets that we put said flawed product in . . .

[batgirl]

So around here all the ambulances entrances to pretty much every hospital in the area have a numbered code to enter them. This keeps civilians from going in and out as they please directly into the emergency rooms. The code is extremely easy to remember and works in almost every hospital in the area. When new people are going through training they are told this repeatedly.

We also have shield numbers that are specific to each person that identifies them as emergency personnel to police, fire etc. They serve no other purpose other than to identify ourselves in the city system.

For some strange reason we have a newer EMT who insists that the codes to all the emergency rooms is not the easy to remember one for all code, but their individual shield. Even after being told several times and shown several times that this was not the case, the guy still doesn't understand. He will stand at the keypad in front of the er for a solid few minutes just entering and reentering his shield number and wondering why his code doesn't work to open the door. He has even emailed his team leader to ask that they "put his shield into the system to open the doors."

I actually had to physically shove him out of the way and yell at him not to touch the keypad anymore. I had a critical patient who needed to get into the ER right away, and he runs ahead and stands at the keypad entering his code and scratching his head while my patient barely holds onto life. I have tried to be nice about it for a few weeks or so, but now it's gotten to the point where I refuse to be decent anymore and I just yell at him and call him a fucking idiot.

[Revising Ocelot]

I don't know any really idiotic coworkers. Obviously this means that I must be the idiot coworker to other people.