A question for women of the forum

**McTahr** · 11-12-2014, 02:05 AM

The gist: I'm trying to help my girlfriend find an apartment. (I know the town, she does not.) She would be living solo. Familial resistance to the idea of pre-marital living arrangements prevents her from just crashing at my apartment in a safe neighborhood. (She can't afford the 'nice' parts of town. I barely can.)

My query: What are the general things that are specific to a woman living alone that I should be confirming when reviewing potential apartments? I acknowledge my privilege here as a white dude in that I have literally never had to consider any of this, and seek to remedy this lack of knowledge for her sake. I've googled around, but any more suggestions would be gladly accepted and appreciated.

Currently, I'm already checking into crime reports, sex offender registries, etc. in the general area, lighting and relative closeness of parking lots, distance from bars (she's not a drinker, and this is a party campus), availability and positioning of on-site laundry, and mailbox location. Anything sketchy gets knocked off the list and I move on, simple as that. We have months to figure this out.

Seil · 11-12-2014, 02:13 AM

Buzzfeed has a list.

pochercoaster · 11-12-2014, 02:32 AM

(Posting from my phone, so apologies for any typos.) I take it she drives since you mentioned parking lots. If not, I would consider the area's public transit system- how closeby the nearest stop is, etc. (Useful to consider regardless since cars break down).

Besides that, I think you got it covered, though I may be overlooking something. Does she have someone she can use the buddy system with? I frequently let my roomates\boyfriend\friends know where I was going and for how long when I went out for reasons other than work.

Based on completely anecdotal experience, apartments across from malls or next to bars are not good places to be.

It's awfully thoughtful of you to put this much research into locating a suitable apartment for your girlfriend.

**McTahr** · 11-12-2014, 10:37 AM

Aha, I forgot about the local/campus bus system. Thanks, Poch.
She generally regularly checks in with friends/family as the occasion calls for it, and I usually give her a ride if it's after dark and her car is otherwise preoccupied. (It's shared.) She also found some app thing to 'check in' that automatically alerts emergency contacts if she doesn't re-check in by an appointed time.

She's good on general safety tips, and rather proactive about stuff as is, but thanks, Seil. I'm mostly polling for apartment-specific advice that may perhaps be common sense to someone who's had to deal with it and yet would not even cross my mind.

mauve · 11-12-2014, 11:15 AM

If you're in a neighborhood with a high burglary rate (my old campus was a huge property crime area because college kids=electronic gadgets and unlocked cars), some people prefer apartments on the second or higher floor. That makes it harder to break in since windows are a less viable point of entry.

Shyria Dracnoir · 11-12-2014, 03:16 PM

What's the overall makeup of the management and staff for a given building? Have previous tenants mentioned past issues with harassment or an overall "creeper" attitude?

Neighboring facilities can be a double-edged sword; it can be useful to have a shopping area within walking distance, especially if its necessities such as a grocery or a drug store, but commercial shopping areas and gas stations may be magnets for criminal activity as well. My first college apartment off campus was directly across from a large indoor mall (both of which were about a quarter mile from campus); I had classes canceled twice on me due to police incidents on the property.

11-12-2014, 02:05 AM	#1
McTahr For the right price... Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,268	A question for women of the forum The gist: I'm trying to help my girlfriend find an apartment. (I know the town, she does not.) She would be living solo. Familial resistance to the idea of pre-marital living arrangements prevents her from just crashing at my apartment in a safe neighborhood. (She can't afford the 'nice' parts of town. I barely can.) My query: What are the general things that are specific to a woman living alone that I should be confirming when reviewing potential apartments? I acknowledge my privilege here as a white dude in that I have literally never had to consider any of this, and seek to remedy this lack of knowledge for her sake. I've googled around, but any more suggestions would be gladly accepted and appreciated. Currently, I'm already checking into crime reports, sex offender registries, etc. in the general area, lighting and relative closeness of parking lots, distance from bars (she's not a drinker, and this is a party campus), availability and positioning of on-site laundry, and mailbox location. Anything sketchy gets knocked off the list and I move on, simple as that. We have months to figure this out. __________________ Gone.

11-12-2014, 02:13 AM	#2
Seil Super stressed! Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: British Columbia Posts: 8,081	Buzzfeed has a list. Last edited by Seil; 11-12-2014 at 02:15 AM.

11-12-2014, 10:37 AM	#4
McTahr For the right price... Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,268	Aha, I forgot about the local/campus bus system. Thanks, Poch. She generally regularly checks in with friends/family as the occasion calls for it, and I usually give her a ride if it's after dark and her car is otherwise preoccupied. (It's shared.) She also found some app thing to 'check in' that automatically alerts emergency contacts if she doesn't re-check in by an appointed time. She's good on general safety tips, and rather proactive about stuff as is, but thanks, Seil. I'm mostly polling for apartment-specific advice that may perhaps be common sense to someone who's had to deal with it and yet would not even cross my mind. __________________ Gone.

11-12-2014, 11:15 AM	#5
mauve So Dreamy Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Someplace magical Posts: 6,863	If you're in a neighborhood with a high burglary rate (my old campus was a huge property crime area because college kids=electronic gadgets and unlocked cars), some people prefer apartments on the second or higher floor. That makes it harder to break in since windows are a less viable point of entry. __________________ Yoo Hoo!

11-12-2014, 03:16 PM	#6
Shyria Dracnoir Kawaii-ju Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Monster Island Posts: 4,240	What's the overall makeup of the management and staff for a given building? Have previous tenants mentioned past issues with harassment or an overall "creeper" attitude? Neighboring facilities can be a double-edged sword; it can be useful to have a shopping area within walking distance, especially if its necessities such as a grocery or a drug store, but commercial shopping areas and gas stations may be magnets for criminal activity as well. My first college apartment off campus was directly across from a large indoor mall (both of which were about a quarter mile from campus); I had classes canceled twice on me due to police incidents on the property. __________________ Godzilla vs. Gamera (1994)

11-12-2014, 02:32 AM	#3
pochercoaster rollerpocher tycoon Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 1,808	(Posting from my phone, so apologies for any typos.) I take it she drives since you mentioned parking lots. If not, I would consider the area's public transit system- how closeby the nearest stop is, etc. (Useful to consider regardless since cars break down). Besides that, I think you got it covered, though I may be overlooking something. Does she have someone she can use the buddy system with? I frequently let my roomates\boyfriend\friends know where I was going and for how long when I went out for reasons other than work. Based on completely anecdotal experience, apartments across from malls or next to bars are not good places to be. It's awfully thoughtful of you to put this much research into locating a suitable apartment for your girlfriend.