"Move Aside, Hipsters" or "Why Girls Love The Dad Bod, Apparently"

[Seil]

So apparently "Dad Bod" is a thing now, I guess.

Is it a thing? The only place I've heard about it has been this website. I don't know. I know that real men have curves, and that while a lot of positive natural-body media has been going viral on the intertubes, but it seems like a lot of it is directed toward women.

I like dad bods, though. This is cool.

[phil_]

Originally Posted by image

This is sexy, this is not

You don't tell me what is or isn't sexy, real-men-have-curves.jpg! That's for me to decide. And the dudes in the picture to decide. And saying "this image of what is typically considered sexy isn't actually sexy" isn't a body positive message, it's just a reversal of everyday body negative messages.

Seil's general impression from before I looked at the picture is cool, though. Not exactly ground breaking (it has been acceptable for men to have beer guts... basically forever?), but non-objectionable.

[Overcast]

Can we note this as Seil is single and looking for a dad bod?

[Seil]

Seil already has a dad bod.

[Flarecobra]

This is getting to be a thing now? What's wrong with the DILF look?

[tacticslion]

It's weird that it's called a "dad-bod" though.

(Not because I don't have it - I do, and, as a Dad, I've noticed a tendency toward that; but rather, because I know a number of Dads that do not conform to that idea. I'm guessing, "ironically", it's called that due to stereotypes...)

Originally Posted by phil_

isn't a body positive message, it's just a reversal of everyday body negative messages.

I think I agree with this, but I think I see the reasoning behind it.

One of the ways of building something up is by tearing something else down. The whole "reversal of everyday negatives spun as a positive" is something that's been done for quite some time, especially in the media for women, and this has been sometimes seen as a good thing. Meagan Trainer has received praise for this, for example. But she's also received criticism for the same spin, and with good reason (also with bad reason, but, you know, I'm not focusing on people being stupid).

The thing is, one of the reasons that people feel the need to "push back" as it were, is that they, justly or otherwise, feel that they are being pressured to be something they're not and simply can't be. To some extent, it's true, we are, over all. It's one reason we've had so much dysphoria in the past regarding our physical make-up: we're constantly told "you need to be this instead of that, and, when we line up with "that" we feel bad, because we've internalized the message.

One of the more insidious things about this internalization process is that it's not necessarily a purposeful societal push - it's just that, generally speaking, some things are considered acceptable and others are not.

The whole "reverse the negative portrayal" becomes a natural reaction to that kind of pressure by those who, for lack of a better term (I'm an RPG-nerd, m'kay?) made their will save v. feeling bad or v. rejecting a stereotype, and then actively turn around to do something about it.

The problem, as phil_ so rightly pointed out, is that it's mostly just a reversal of negative messages instead of an actively positive message, the latter of which would look more like "this is sexy; so is this" type stuff.

The problem with that, however, is that many people tend to be stubborn and cynical: a statement so well balanced and reasoned, like the above, has less of a chance of actively gaining traction, and will tend to be less... I don't know, "less believed", I suppose?

(My lexicon has been degrading with my waste-line's expansion since I've had kids.)

It's something that I think is worth fighting for, but there are, again, downsides as well. I know - for a fact - that I'm not as healthy as I really could or should be. That state comes from being a soda-swilling house-dwelling nerd who's been doing less active exercise for the last couple* of years. That's worth fighting against.

So who's right? Encouraging body-positive images? Or encouraging physical health and peak "shape" so to speak? Well... they both are.

There are some people who have less "peak" styles due to gland issues or some other physical reason - they simply can't be "peak" due to their physical nature. Some are constrained by their social situation - a lifetime of choices that's led to - under these specific circumstances - a situation they can't easily change. There are some who just need to "man up" (to use the term), and willingly change their lifestyle. There are some who don't need to do that at all, and are able and willing to cope with the fact that they aren't and never will be "peak".

All of this is valid, and important. Getting people to make healthy choices is good - such a state actively improves their life and self-worth in many cases, perhaps most cases. Shaming people into making unhealthy choices to meet an unrealistic ideal is bad... as is demanding people go for a particular ideal when they are happy with their life.

It's a fine balancing line to walk.

I think the idea behind the site is really cool, and I agree with the idea that men are often portrayed unrealistically and have a pressure to attain an unreasonable ideal - this is something that women have far more often than men, but the pressure is still definitely there for both genders.

Anyway, that's my ramble at present.

* Crap, it's been three, verging on four. I'd forgotten. I really am a father!

[Aerozord]

I have said before men are subjected to just as much body image issues as women just women lack the media dominance to force it down our throats or work place control to cause sweeping social issues. So while, like with positive womens body image I am all for treating a more average and reasonable body type as good, I think this is more of an example of memetics than actual cultural sway.

Positive body image media is being affective partly because female sexualization causes very common issues and far more societal pressure, and also because the idealized female body walking a very thin line of unhealthy while the idealized male body is a model of physical fitness.

This however feels more like viral marketing, a trend that will come and go not a societal change. There is however a grounding that women prefer an average body type when seeking actual relationships, but when it comes to straight-forward attractiveness prefer the cliche "sexy man" look. It wouldn't surprise me if this becomes a "sexy look" but I am betting it will be just that. A look, more akin to a fashion trend than a cultural shift in body image.