Corrupted Wishes - Page 18

bluestarultor · 07-27-2010, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyria Dracnoir

Granted! However, in a postapocalyptic world most of your wealth is in canned food and guns (which you don't even know how to use) and you get your ass kicked by an Australian motorcycle gang which proceedes to steal all your stuff and teabag your corpse.

I wish I could remember to do the laundry more often.

You are now obsessed with doing laundry. In fact, you're an OCD germophobe when it comes to clothing. Any item of clothing you wear is immediately thrown into the wash as soon as it's taken off, as is anything that gets any kind of dirt on it. You end up often late to work because you can't tolerate a droplet of milk spilling on your shirt before you leave and running all those loads costs you a bunch in soap and water. If anything gets spilled on you at work, you immediately run to the bathroom to wash the affected clothing with hand soap, but not before you wash the sink so you don't get more germs on it than ever. Then it gets washed for real when you get back home. Obviously, your performance suffers from this.

Also, the thought of intimacy getting on your bed linens makes you shudder every time you think of it, which puts a damper on your love life.

I wish my school would hurry up and get things in order with my transfer and housing info.

krogothwolf · 07-27-2010, 11:58 AM

Granted, expect they decided to transfer you to a new school opening up in Alaska and it is the only one that will take you, you're stuck there till you graduate even unable to leave to visit family.

I wish hockey season would start soon.

Thadius · 07-27-2010, 01:42 PM

Granted! Unfortunately, your definition of soon as compared to an immortal genie's definition kinda don't match up.

It waits. And waits. And waits.

Finally at the end of the universe all the hockey players are allowed to play again. Except they're all dead from old age.

Shortest hockey season ever!

I wish I had relative-to-the-Earth teleportation powers.

bluestarultor · 07-27-2010, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thadius

Granted! Unfortunately, your definition of soon as compared to an immortal genie's definition kinda don't match up.

It waits. And waits. And waits.

Finally at the end of the universe all the hockey players are allowed to play again. Except they're all dead from old age.

Shortest hockey season ever!

I wish I had relative-to-the-Earth teleportation powers.

Granted, only it's inversely relative to the Earth constrained by its orbit. The first time you teleport, you end up in the void of space where Earth would be in six months. You have mere seconds to realize you need to teleport to a spot near you and hope that it neither leaves you in the upper atmosphere nor somewhere in the mantle. Tick tock!

I wish I had more time to get things in order with my summer class.

BitVyper · 07-27-2010, 05:20 PM

Granted! You are now trapped in a time freeze. You now have all the time in the world. As bad as this could be, you also cannot meaningfully interact with any physical object as you are effectively moving at infinite speed.

I wish for my boss to hurry up and okay my request for three months leave.

Bard The 5th LW · 07-27-2010, 09:56 PM

Granted. He moves to fast though and his presumably weak heart gives out mid-way into the task. He can no longer OK it due to being hospitalized in a coma for three months exactly. His replacement during these three months does not OK the leave.

I wish I could draw well.

Rejected Again · 07-28-2010, 02:42 AM

Granted. You can now draw wells.

I wish the for a dancing panda.

krogothwolf · 07-28-2010, 11:50 AM

Granted, The Panda will only dance on your corpse. After he mauls you.

I wish for a turkey sandwich of two pieces of white bread that is freshly baked and with a single spread of mayo and nothing else on it. And I want it in the next 5 minutes.

Thadius · 07-28-2010, 12:58 PM

Granted! However, it's made of Teleporting Turkey, and you end up in the White House. Enjoy prison!

I wish that I didn't need to sleep and suffered no ill effects from not sleeping.

Shyria Dracnoir · 07-28-2010, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thadius

Granted! However, it's made of Teleporting Turkey, and you end up in the White House. Enjoy prison!

I wish that I didn't need to sleep and suffered no ill effects from not sleeping.

Granted! However, you're continually pestered by both government and private corporations trying to hire you so they reverse engineer your secret until they decide "fuck it", kidnap you, and hold you as a guinea pig.

I wish college was less expensive.

07-27-2010, 11:58 AM	#172
krogothwolf Fetched the Candy Cane! Join Date: May 2009 Location: Calgary Posts: 4,278	Granted, expect they decided to transfer you to a new school opening up in Alaska and it is the only one that will take you, you're stuck there till you graduate even unable to leave to visit family. I wish hockey season would start soon. __________________ Knowledge is Power, Power is Knowledge ╔╦╦══╦══╦═╦══╦══╦╗╔╦╦╦╦══╦╗╔═╗ ║═╣╠═║╔╗║╔╣╔╗╠╗╔╣╚╝║║║║╔╗║║║═╣ ║║║╔╗╣╚╝║║║╚╝║║║║╔╗║║║║╚╝║╚╣╔╝ ╚╩╩╝╚╩══╩═╩══╝╚╝╚╝╚╩══╩══╩═╩╝

07-27-2010, 01:42 PM	#173
Thadius BEARD IMPACT Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: MANLY ANGER Posts: 1,977	Granted! Unfortunately, your definition of soon as compared to an immortal genie's definition kinda don't match up. It waits. And waits. And waits. Finally at the end of the universe all the hockey players are allowed to play again. Except they're all dead from old age. Shortest hockey season ever! I wish I had relative-to-the-Earth teleportation powers. __________________ ANGER HAS NEVER BEEN MORE MANLY THAN THIS.

07-27-2010, 05:20 PM	#175
BitVyper History's Strongest Dilettante Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Arcadia Posts: 6,662	Granted! You are now trapped in a time freeze. You now have all the time in the world. As bad as this could be, you also cannot meaningfully interact with any physical object as you are effectively moving at infinite speed. I wish for my boss to hurry up and okay my request for three months leave. __________________ "There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea is asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace; we've got work to do!" Awesome art be here.

07-28-2010, 11:50 AM	#178
krogothwolf Fetched the Candy Cane! Join Date: May 2009 Location: Calgary Posts: 4,278	Granted, The Panda will only dance on your corpse. After he mauls you. I wish for a turkey sandwich of two pieces of white bread that is freshly baked and with a single spread of mayo and nothing else on it. And I want it in the next 5 minutes. __________________ Knowledge is Power, Power is Knowledge ╔╦╦══╦══╦═╦══╦══╦╗╔╦╦╦╦══╦╗╔═╗ ║═╣╠═║╔╗║╔╣╔╗╠╗╔╣╚╝║║║║╔╗║║║═╣ ║║║╔╗╣╚╝║║║╚╝║║║║╔╗║║║║╚╝║╚╣╔╝ ╚╩╩╝╚╩══╩═╩══╝╚╝╚╝╚╩══╩══╩═╩╝

07-28-2010, 12:58 PM	#179
Thadius BEARD IMPACT Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: MANLY ANGER Posts: 1,977	Granted! However, it's made of Teleporting Turkey, and you end up in the White House. Enjoy prison! I wish that I didn't need to sleep and suffered no ill effects from not sleeping. __________________ ANGER HAS NEVER BEEN MORE MANLY THAN THIS.

07-27-2010, 09:56 PM	#176
Bard The 5th LW Feelin' Super! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 4,191	Granted. He moves to fast though and his presumably weak heart gives out mid-way into the task. He can no longer OK it due to being hospitalized in a coma for three months exactly. His replacement during these three months does not OK the leave. I wish I could draw well.