Corrupted Wishes

[Loyal]

You do so, but the purpose you originally intended for it now seems insufficient, and you can never find the right opportunity to use the song. It lays, unused and lonely, in your music folder till a freak accident involving magnets, a boat, and a pound of gouda destroys all evidence that it ever existed.

I could go for a ham sandwich right about now.

[Rejected Again]

Man this is a great sandwich....Hey what the... OH YOU SON OF A BITCH LOYAL! *Reaches through the internet and steals his sammich back*

I wish people would stop stealing my DnD Dice. Chessex is making a mint off me on the Pound-O-Dice orders.

[Thadius]

Not a problem at all, good sir! I'll just get all your dice back to you and- oh dear. It would appear that so many dice have been taken from you that when they were returned to you, they filled your abode to the top. I suppose I should have left out the qualifier of 'any dice you have ever touched,' but I wanted to be thorough.

I do believe the ability to force people to tell the truth without drugs or serums would come in quite handy. Some sort of mental power, I would think. But it would only be very useful if it kept working all my life. I don't suppose you could enable such a thing to be, genie?

[Doc ock rokc]

Originally Posted by Thadius

I do believe the ability to force people to tell the truth without drugs or serums would come in quite handy. Some sort of mental power, I would think. But it would only be very useful if it kept working all my life. I don't suppose you could enable such a thing to be, genie?

Granted. now whatever someone says becomes the truth. The first thing said is that You never existed...oh look It's TRUE!

I wish I had access to "Hammer space" and that I could take/put anything I want into/out of it.

[Fifthfiend]

Originally Posted by Doc ock rokc

I wish I had access to "Hammer space" and that I could take/put anything I want into/out of it.

You're now the tsundere. You act like a heinous, irrational, judgmental bitch to people, make the life of everyone around you a living hell, inflict severe physical violence on your loved ones, acquaintances, and authority figures, and end up getting the boy in the end dammit! I wish for a mulligan.

[bluestarultor]

Originally Posted by Fifthfiend

You're now the tsundere. You act like a heinous, irrational, judgmental bitch to people, make the life of everyone around you a living hell, inflict severe physical violence on your loved ones, acquaintances, and authority figures, and end up getting the boy in the end dammit! I wish for a mulligan.

You now have Blackjack Mulligan as your personal hanger-on. Enjoy your geriatric former pro wrestler. At least he makes a passable conversation piece.


I wish for an Easy Button.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Granted. You get an Easy button and you love it. Everyone else thinks it is annoying though, and they systematically leave you and you are more alone than you ever were.

That was easy.

I wish these bugs would leave me and my house alone.

[Flarecobra]

Granted. They took over the world in the meantime though.

I wish I weren't crazy.

[POS Industries]

Congratulations! You're sane! However, with sanity comes a greater clarity regarding introspection, leading to an overwhelming sense of remorse over the memory of the past deeds you've committed with nary a thought back when you were crazy. The guilt and embarrassment is crippling, causing you to feel physically ill from the weight of it and discouraging you from associating with the outside world. Cloistering yourself away from society, you are left alone with your own haunted thoughts, and the whole experience eventually drives you mad.

I wish for a tasty sandwich.

[bluestarultor]

Originally Posted by POS Industries

Congratulations! You're sane! However, with sanity comes a greater clarity regarding introspection, leading to an overwhelming sense of remorse over the memory of the past deeds you've committed with nary a thought back when you were crazy. The guilt and embarrassment is crippling, causing you to feel physically ill from the weight of it and discouraging you from associating with the outside world. Cloistering yourself away from society, you are left alone with your own haunted thoughts, and the whole experience eventually drives you mad.

I wish for a tasty sandwich.

You now have plain bread dipped in artificial flavors.



Edit: Ninja'd.

Originally Posted by Thadius

I dare say, good sir, that this sandwich I have just conjured up could rightly be considered the most tasteful thing in all of existence. However, I do warn you against actually ea-

Oh you had to go and eat it. I was going to tell you that once you ate it, you would experience a moment of Nirvana and know that nothing else would ever be as tasty and delicious as that sandwich. Eventually, your mind will crack and break under the stress, leading to thoughts of ending your life because nothing else matters now that you've had that sandwich. Oh well, enjoy your oncoming depression if you can, good chap.

I say, I wish I were a little more mentally balanced. Not exactly sane, mind you, but balanced enough to be able to function normally in society at all times. Perhaps you could aid me, genie?

You now have mild Asperger's instead. You get by, but you miss a lot and spend most of your time on the Internet.


I wish I didn't get bitten by mosquitoes so often.