Let's punch God in the dick! The Shin Megami Tensei LP!

[Grimpond]

Originally Posted by Ecks

Chaos: Ecks

Yeah I'm making myself the buttmonkey.

I'm sorry, but who are you again?

Liz requires only qualified Chaotics.

LAW: Snake
Chaos: Krylo
Protagonist: Liz

[Kim]

Time for some good, old-fashioned deja vu.

So it was written in the ancient prophecies. So it shall be. And, lo, a great voice rumbled forth and said:

And thus Krylo came to possess a great power known only as "stats."

With that warning in mind, he set forth to find his companions, though he knew not what form they would take.

[

First, he came upon Snake, the servant of Law. Did Krylo's fate lie with the servant of God? For the time being, he thought not of such things. First, there were greater issues to discuss.

And so Snake, too, came to possess great power, though for what purpose he would use it he did not yet know.

Krylo could only shake his head in response. He was as lost and confused as Snake.

Eager for a companion in this twisting labyrinth, Krylo agreed.

Thus, the two began their journey together.

In time, Krylo and Snake found the sleeping form of Fifth, the servant of Chaos.

Fifth, once a weak man, was then granted power as well. Twas Krylo's fate to bring such people together.

Fifth was less patient than Snake and joined Krylo without delay.

The three journeyed together for some time, until they came upon a spring.

In this spring, a woman was bathing. Snake grew embarrassed and Fifth mocked his attitude, but Krylo was struck by the thought that he knew this woman.

She certainly knew him.

A strange turn of events, one that baffled Snake and Fifth equally. However, before Krylo could respond, the trio found themselves in the labyrinth once again, confused as to how such a thing had happened.

Suddenly, Krylo heard a voice...

And so Krylo woke from his dream. It was such a strange dream, and yet he was already beginning to forget it.

As ever, his first order of business was to check his email.

He didn't recognize the sender, but Krylo still found himself compelled to read the email. It read as follows:

Humanity is currently in grave danger! Demons of legend from ages past have woken from their long slumber. Soon, they will overrun the Earth! In order to compete with the demons and fight for our survival, we will need to utilize their power. Use this program correctly, and you should be able to! I pray that those with the courage to use it will accept it... To fight the demons that would destroy us, and to preserve humanity...

Krylo was reluctant to download the file. He was no fool. Even so, the remaining fragments of his dream pushed him to do so. After a moment of thought...

Just as Krylo began to put the strange email behind him, his mother called out again...

[Krylo]

UNTIL I'M NOT TIRED ANYMORE BITCH

[Geminex]

Krylo, be nice to your dear mother, 'lest she turn out to be the final boss.

[Kim]

And that's the story of how the world ended because Krylo was grounded.

[Solid Snake]

Liz creates Snake
Snake has more Strength than Intelligence

...Wut

Also:
Hey guys I just woke up in some strange place and I saw a beautiful woman bathing
I suspect she's probably a Barista? All the cute ones are Baristas.
Anyway I really want to make a move on her but I have NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT TO DO
And I am so motherfucking tense about this, guys
Is there anything you can tell me
Any potential advice you could give?

...Maybe I could recite some poetry for her?
Maybe she'd enjoy talking about vidjagames? Yasunori Mitsuda, he does great soundtracks.
Or maybe she'd enjoy a nice, thick, juicy Wall of Text?
I'm really good with those!

Even my Law character apparently enjoys some loquaciousness.

[Solid Snake]

...Oh wait, she's in love with KRYLO?!?

Fuck that shit
Why the fuck does every story involving me and Krylo involve him getting the girl
Just once you have to share, bro

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Ask her if she's seen Human Centipede, if she says no send it to her via mail. It's what I always do.

[Kim]

Originally Posted by Krylo

UNTIL I'M NOT TIRED ANYMORE BITCH

"Don't you speak to me that way, young man!" his mother yelled before stomping off in a huff.

Turning his attention back to the computer, Krylo saw that he had yet another email. It was from the same mysterious "Steven" that sent the last email. Opening it, he found more bizarre rambling about demons inside, and the email explained that the file he'd downloaded would allow him to understand and even recruit demons he encountered.

Putting the deluded ramblings of "Steven" behind him, Krylo groggily dragged himself from his room, where he found his mother waiting for him.

"Shutup..." Krylo muttered under his breath.

"Hmph!" came his mother's response, "I don't know where you picked up this attitude of yours, but you could certainly learn to treat your own mother with respect. Anyways, I need you to run an errand for me, so I may as well give you your allowance now. Lord knows you certainly didn't earn it, though."

"Thanks, mom," Krylo said, greedily shoving the 1,000 yen notes into his pocket.

"That's more like it," she answered.

"I won't..." he mumbled on his way out.

Before he left the house, Krylo decided to take a moment to play with his dog, Pascal.

Having given his dog some much needed attention, Krylo finally stepped outside and began his journey.

The first thing Krylo noticed, other than the blinding light of the noonday sun, was a police blockade just north of his house. Curious as to just what was going on, he went to investigate.

"Huh, guess it's more serious than I thought," he thought to himself. His curiosity sated, Krylo went East towards the local shopping mall.

In one of the mall's siderooms, Krylo ran into Ozawa and his gang. Krylo wasn't the type to do as he's told, but he knew when he was outnumbered. Besides, getting into a fight just seemed like such a waste of a weekend. He'd deal with them some other day.

Before the cafe, Krylo decided to make a quick pit stop by a survival gear store. It was summer vacation, and while Krylo wasn't generally the camping sort, he knew someone was bound to force him into going on a campout at some point. In that case, might as well be prepared. He tried everything on before leaving, and, while he wouldn't admit to it, he did feel a bit tougher for owning all this gear.

Krylo also stumbled briefly into the drug store, leaving as quickly as he entered. He'd have not gone in at all, except that he found the mall somewhat disorienting and hard to navigate. From outside, all the stores looked the same.

After far more searching than it really should have taken, Krylo finally found himself inside the cafe. Krylo would have grabbed his coffee quick and simply left. However, there was a rather long line, so he instead opted to make small talk with other customers while waiting for the line to shrink.

One of the customers, a woman in red, began gossiping about the local hospital with little provocation, saying, "You know about the hospital southeast of the station, right? Rumor has it the director of the hospital has been acting really weird lately. Someone even said he's been performing weird experiments late at night, but that's probably just made up."

Krylo could barely find his excuse for ditching the woman as quickly as possible. "Um... Okay then... Sorry, I thought you were someone... uh... else. Bye."

Krylo noticed a young girl from his school seated at one table, and beelined to her to make sure the woman in red left him alone. When he reached her, briefly offering a greeting, she nearly burst into tears as she said, "Oh, Krylo... The girl that was killed in the park was one of my classmates! I'm scared..."

Krylo found himself at a loss for words. He fumbled out a, "I'm sorry to hear that," before excusing himself from the sad, awkward conversation. As he walked away, Krylo noticed someone else familiar.

He'd approached her cautiously, unsure of who she was but certain he knew her. After her brief little speech, she gave an amused laugh and strolled out of the cafe, leaving Krylo bewildered and confused.

After three bad conversations in a row, Krylo had the thought, "Maybe I should just never leave my room again."

Ready to give up and go home, he saw that the line he'd been avoiding was gone, and he worked his way to the cashier, careful to avoid any sort of eye contact along the way.

"Are you sure?" Krylo asked.

"Well... Thanks! Thanks a ton!" A smile spread across Krylo's face as he thought, "Maybe today isn't a total loss."

Suddenly...

"This is seriously the worst fucking day of my life."

As angry as he was, Krylo still found himself running to see what was going on. All he could think was that if he didn't hurry and do something, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

"Dude! Calm down! I'm not trying to pick a fight," Krylo answered the man's crazed fear as calmly as he could.

"Please, just put the knife dow-"

Blood went everywhere, and Krylo's eyes widened in terror. Before he could even scream for help, though...

Krylo dodged, but only barely, as he turned to face the terrible creature that had just murdered the man, he instead saw only a blue blur as it ran away.

"What... the fuck... was that?" he asked himself between gasps for air. Slowly, his gaze turned to the dead body on the ground.

As he stared at the knife, Krylo's thoughts returned to the monster he'd seen.

In a nervous daze, Krylo stumbled home. He didn't lower his guard for a moment. He was certain that the second he did that creature would be back for him.

"S-sorry, mom... I've just been busy..." Krylo did his best to hide the fear he felt inside.

As his mother talked about the dangers waiting outside, Krylo realized that what must have killed that girl could only have been the same monster he'd encountered earlier. If that was the case, could the police even hope to do anything about it?

"I'll think about it. Um, I think I'm gonna get to bed early today, okay mom?"

"Are you feeling okay, sweetie?"

"Yeah... I'm fine."

[Kim]

As Krylo went to sleep, he returned to the strange dreamworld from the previous night...

To his surprise, he found Snake and Fifth waiting for him when he arrived. Snake seemed happy to see him, but Fifth took the whole ordeal much less seriously, looking around without a care in the world.

"Well, let's go already!" Fifth said and began leading the way down the twisting corridor.

In this world, running into Yuriko felt much less strange. It certainly helped that Krylo could suddenly remember last night's dream. It made their relationship much clearer to him.

"Wanna come with?" Krylo asked.

"Of course!" she cheerfully replied. Snake fidgeted awkwardly in her presence.

"More the merrier," Fifth muttered indifferently, taking the lead once more.

Eventually, the group found itself in a dark, ceremonial chamber. Three priests held their hands in the air, and a spirit floated above them.

The group spoke in hushed whispers, not wanting to draw attention to themselves even as their curiosity got the best of them.

Once they realized just what was going on, they all grew tense and looked at one another.

"What should we do?" Krylo asked his companions.

Yuriko merely smiled and said, "Whatever you want. It's up to you, Krylo."

As for Snake and Fifth...