Cloud Takes On The World

[Fifthfiend]

It was more of not living up to his father role (Seph, his real dad died), then being genetically altered (Jenova Cells), which resulted in his mess up mind (Which was done on purpose) and allowed Sephiroth to control him, all while trying to prove himself.

In terms of initial trauma, Kain far outweighs Cloud, and "Magically controlled by the embodiment of hatred" vastly outweighs "volunteered to be a science experiment, then given weird hallucinations by the psychotic Goth kid" (I never even thought about it before, but is there a lame highschool stereotype that isn't in FFVII?)

He's got more then most other characters in FF

One date in which Cloud goes to bed without working up the nerve to cop a feel constitutes getting some by no measure in human existence. And I will note that you conveniently sidestep my point that Cloud is undeniably a Wussy Emo Boy, thus by definition cannot get any (certainly not in any contest setting).

------------

Mas de contestar!

Counterstrike: Cloud wins v. anyone except those from FFVIII, since all others come from a backwards pre-(or post) technological society, lacking any opportunity to become acquainted with videogames. Versus the VIII cast it's up in the air.

[Krylo]

Originally Posted by IHateMakingNames

Technically Cecil wins since he is the only person to actually get anywere with a girl (Married). Next is Tidus with his kiss. But I still vote for Edgar, he's a pimp (Gold and green wardrobe).

True... true... I almost forgot about Cecil. Didn't Rydia also like him for awhile after she realized that he was protecting her?

Good point... Still, the whole Rosa thing is still sad.

Yah... but most FF heros are pathetic in some way. I've only played the american ones that weren't released as part of anthologies etc. and my memory isn't perfect so I'll just do the best that I can.

FF4,
Cecil: Allowed himself to be used by a fiend who took the place of the king and didn't even notice.
Rydia: Intense fear of fire, although she gets past it, making her less than pathetic.
Kain: Rosa.
Edge: Mommy and daddy... also complete inability to get anywhere near Rydia's panties.
Cecil: He fought with wooden wrenches.
That kung-fu guy: ...His big badass ability was kick.
Edward: He was in love with a dead chick... he also had the HIDE ability in battle.
Tellah: Over protective father who eventually drives his daughter away leading to her untimely death. He also killed himself casting meteo.
Twins: One was a goody two-shoes loser, the other really really wanted to be a 'bad boy' but was unable to pull it off.
...That's all the playables I can remember from there right now.

FFVI
Terra: The whole esper craziness/emotional trauma
Edgar: He could not get laid no matter how hard he tried.
Celes: Had a complete inability to function with her emotions.
Locke: Was in love with a dead girl also. I think he was also a necrophiliac...
Setzer: His obsession with Celes, and how easily he 'broke' at the end.
Sabin: Spent most of his life running away from his responsibilities.
Shadow: Killed his emotions... and gave terra the angsty emo-bitch advice about just killing her emotions.
Cyan: Intense fear of technology.
Setzer: He was like 90 and Relm was still more mature than him.
Relm: ...The 'sketch' ability. She attacks by DRAWING things. The hell!?
Can't think of anymore here right now either.

FFVII
Cloud: "OMG! I R NOT TEH REEL!"
Aeris: She's weak physically, and her magic isn't that impressive. She also felt the need to run off to her death fully knowing she'd die... and she had no good reason to do so alone... making sure no one could save her.
Tifa: She was too caught up in having Cloud to ever tell him the truth.
Barret: The whole thing with the little girl and that other guy.
Sephiroth (not really a hero, but he's so pathetic he gets a mention): He was a momma's boy... and he didn't even know who his mother was.
Cait Sith: ...I don't even need to go there.
Vincent: He was an angsty emo goth boy. He was a cool one... but he was still one.
Yuffie: She fucked over the team a couple times... really, she's not that pathetic, other than the hyperness.
That's all I can think of here.

FFVIII
Every Character: 'We're all orphans, and we all lived together, but we forgot because of the GF! Yay! We're all reunited... now let's go kill our ex-mom.' Also the fact that they got weaker in relation to enemies as they leveled.
Squall: Almost broke under the pressure of leadership. Was also a COMPLETE asshole.
Quistis: Obsessed with Squall... who was a complete asshole.
Rinoa: Obsessed with Seifer, who's an even bigger asshole than Squall... who she fell in love with. Also her whole "I can't do anything" bullshit.
Irvine: It was pretty pathetic the way he chased everything with a pussy and almost never succeeded.
Selphie: She was on a constant sugar-high.
Zell: Also hyper as hell... also was really easy to make fun of/pick on.

I'm just going to stop there because I'm lazy.

[Mashirosen]

Page limit, thank god. Let's put a moratorium on versus threads for now, okay? Or at least until I get around to making the Beyond Thunderdome All-Purpose Versus Thread in General.