Mad Plans 3, Take Two.

bluestarultor · 03-09-2007, 12:12 PM

Alright. Since Fifth said I could, here it is.

@Fifth: Sorry about the first posting thing. ^^*

42PETUNIAS · 03-09-2007, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fifthfiend

You know I should probably say something about how first-post contests and assertions of thread 'ownership' are stupid and we shouldn't get into them.

But instead I'm going to tacitly encourage them by closing this thread and saying nobody except Bluestarultor can start the next one, because he sent me a real nice PM asking if he could.

But seriously guys don't make this a habit.

My bad, I was far enough away from being serious that I didn't consider that anyone would take me as actually claiming credit for the thread. Won't happen again.

bluestarultor · 03-09-2007, 01:56 PM

So...

Brooms, Dainslaif armies, BM-In-A-Can raids, and giant mountain fires?

I've been trying to find sprite sheets or screenies of the monster I'm talking about here, but haven't had much luck. I may end up making an ISO of my disk and trying to configure ePSXe well enough to play until I can add it to my bestiary, if the idea runs long enough.

Kerensky287 · 03-09-2007, 07:38 PM

Here's my plan - kinda ripped off the most recent Order of the Stick, wherein there be Titanium Elementals - create an elemental of Mercury. It's essentially a water elemental, but... well, it's poisonous. And metal. Also, if you heat it, it expands quite quickly. Best plan: freeze one, put it in a thermos, and unleash it at the SLIGHTEST provocation. It expands from the heat.

Khael! · 03-09-2007, 11:31 PM

*jaw drops*

Wow. Impeccable application of liquid metal. The only equivalent that I can come up with is an air elemental full of rock dust. The little chips are so small and sharp that inhaling it basically causes your lungs to hemorrhage and drown you in bloody mess.

It used to happen to miners before they invented drills that shot water into the bored hole. It's still not as cool as mercury.

EDIT: I really wish Syrinth would get on here and post. He and I had this amazeiating design for a giant perpetual motion cannon.

It involved setting up series of small portals (those portal rings that occur in pairs were considered), arranged so that falling through one would cause you to appear over the return portal in the other dimension and vice-versa. Whatever gets thrown in there basically falls forever. Using combinations of haste and reverse gravity (cast upside-down so it in fact doubles gravity), you increase the velocity of the object as much as you want. I recall using gnomes in the alpha testing phase...

Anyway, you then tilt the top ring, breaking the loop and sending the hyper-accelerated projectile(s) toward the target of choice. I can't for the life/death of me remember what we called it.

Syrinth · 03-10-2007, 09:16 PM

Say my name and here I am.

This Weapon of Mass Destruction was a weapon of such horror that it needed to be abbreviated in order to truly encapsulate the dimensions of its terrible...terribleness. I present to you... the BFLZGC.(The Big Fucking Lodestone Zombie Gnome Cannon)

What you do is you open two gates above each other and located so that the two gate parts are facing each other, as originally stated by Khael. The most advantageous place to do this would most likely be another plane but a citadel would suffice. Although you could do it in your plane using an outer dimensional plane loop as well where:

A> B> C> D> A and so on. Where C and D are located in another plane (Like the astral for example or perhaps limbo. C and D are of course located as A and B are respectively except with much more space between the two to allow the most ammunition to be loaded into the infinite loop as well as allowing them to all be falling at maximum velocity.

For ammunition we will use Gnomes, for the sheer fact that gnomes are irritating and die in an amusing way. If anyone here is a Gnome lover they die in an equally amusing way so feel free to speak up. Should Gnomes be unavailable Kender will easily work in a pinch. After slaughtering a few villages of Gnomes you then animate them into zombies(for complacency and for the fact that they splatter in a much more satisfying and traumatic way for anyone caught.

Then you take each Gnome zombie and load it up with lodestones. For those whose feeble minds cannot comprehend what a lodestone is: A lodestone is a small stone that weighs 50 lbs. Load up the zombies with as many lodestones as possible and then toss them into the loop. Each zombie should be capable of exceeding several hundred pounds, perhaps 3 or 4 and will soon be falling at terminal velocity which I am far to busy to calculate right now.

When someone displeases you you merely shift portal A to be aiming at the fool who has incurred your wrath and fire a stream of rotting 400 lb zombie gnomes at them flying at a rather horrifyingly large top speed pretty much guaranteed to reduce any and all structures to rubble. Add in diseases for extra amusement and repeat as necessary.

Long-Haired Narcissist · 03-10-2007, 09:26 PM

I say instead of gnomes or zombies, you should use acid snowballs.

Syrinth · 03-10-2007, 09:27 PM

and I heartily disagree for the above stated reasons. Besides fitting lodestones into acidic snowballs would suck.

The Argent Lord · 03-10-2007, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Syrinth

and I heartily disagree for the above stated reasons. Besides fitting lodestones into acidic snowballs would suck.

Ah, but what about an acidic snowball 10 feet in diameter?

Syrinth · 03-10-2007, 09:46 PM

Zombie gnomes are much more convenient and amusing. Plus you get in a free gnome slaughter as part of it. The gnomes stay.

Khael says that if you want you can pickle the zombies.

03-09-2007, 07:38 PM	#4
Kerensky287 Just That Good Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 3,426	Here's my plan - kinda ripped off the most recent Order of the Stick, wherein there be Titanium Elementals - create an elemental of Mercury. It's essentially a water elemental, but... well, it's poisonous. And metal. Also, if you heat it, it expands quite quickly. Best plan: freeze one, put it in a thermos, and unleash it at the SLIGHTEST provocation. It expands from the heat. __________________ People who live in Glass homes should not throw stones or Jerk off at daytime

03-09-2007, 11:31 PM	#5
Khael! I'm somebody else these days. Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Same house same hill same bat channel still canada Posts: 1,968	Win Elemental jaw drops Wow. Impeccable application of liquid metal. The only equivalent that I can come up with is an air elemental full of rock dust. The little chips are so small and sharp that inhaling it basically causes your lungs to hemorrhage and drown you in bloody mess. It used to happen to miners before they invented drills that shot water into the bored hole. It's still not as cool as mercury. EDIT: I really wish Syrinth would get on here and post. He and I had this amazeiating design for a giant perpetual motion cannon. It involved setting up series of small portals (those portal rings that occur in pairs were considered), arranged so that falling through one would cause you to appear over the return portal in the other dimension and vice-versa. Whatever gets thrown in there basically falls forever. Using combinations of haste and reverse gravity (cast upside-down so it in fact doubles gravity), you increase the velocity of the object as much as you want. I recall using gnomes in the alpha testing phase... Anyway, you then tilt the top ring, breaking the loop and sending the hyper-accelerated projectile(s) toward the target of choice. I can't for the life/death of me remember what we called it. __________________ "Life is like a box of chocolates. Cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for." - CGB Spender Super Perfundo on the Early Eve of Your Day. Last edited by Khael!; 03-09-2007 at 11:50 PM. Reason: Win is a thing deserving a title

03-10-2007, 09:16 PM	#6
Syrinth Level 5 Evil DM Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Eisalos Posts: 56	Say my name and here I am. This Weapon of Mass Destruction was a weapon of such horror that it needed to be abbreviated in order to truly encapsulate the dimensions of its terrible...terribleness. I present to you... the BFLZGC.(The Big Fucking Lodestone Zombie Gnome Cannon) What you do is you open two gates above each other and located so that the two gate parts are facing each other, as originally stated by Khael. The most advantageous place to do this would most likely be another plane but a citadel would suffice. Although you could do it in your plane using an outer dimensional plane loop as well where: A> B> C> D> A and so on. Where C and D are located in another plane (Like the astral for example or perhaps limbo. C and D are of course located as A and B are respectively except with much more space between the two to allow the most ammunition to be loaded into the infinite loop as well as allowing them to all be falling at maximum velocity. For ammunition we will use Gnomes, for the sheer fact that gnomes are irritating and die in an amusing way. If anyone here is a Gnome lover they die in an equally amusing way so feel free to speak up. Should Gnomes be unavailable Kender will easily work in a pinch. After slaughtering a few villages of Gnomes you then animate them into zombies(for complacency and for the fact that they splatter in a much more satisfying and traumatic way for anyone caught. Then you take each Gnome zombie and load it up with lodestones. For those whose feeble minds cannot comprehend what a lodestone is: A lodestone is a small stone that weighs 50 lbs. Load up the zombies with as many lodestones as possible and then toss them into the loop. Each zombie should be capable of exceeding several hundred pounds, perhaps 3 or 4 and will soon be falling at terminal velocity which I am far to busy to calculate right now. When someone displeases you you merely shift portal A to be aiming at the fool who has incurred your wrath and fire a stream of rotting 400 lb zombie gnomes at them flying at a rather horrifyingly large top speed pretty much guaranteed to reduce any and all structures to rubble. Add in diseases for extra amusement and repeat as necessary. __________________ "I will shoot you at midnight, with bullets." ~Khael Almighty The Sorcerer is saying "I don't care if you ARE reality, you WILL do what I want you to!" "I have gone to find myself� If I get back before I return, keep me here."

03-10-2007, 09:27 PM	#8
Syrinth Level 5 Evil DM Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Eisalos Posts: 56	and I heartily disagree for the above stated reasons. Besides fitting lodestones into acidic snowballs would suck. __________________ "I will shoot you at midnight, with bullets." ~Khael Almighty The Sorcerer is saying "I don't care if you ARE reality, you WILL do what I want you to!" "I have gone to find myself� If I get back before I return, keep me here."

03-10-2007, 09:46 PM	#10
Syrinth Level 5 Evil DM Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Eisalos Posts: 56	Zombie gnomes are much more convenient and amusing. Plus you get in a free gnome slaughter as part of it. The gnomes stay. Khael says that if you want you can pickle the zombies. __________________ "I will shoot you at midnight, with bullets." ~Khael Almighty The Sorcerer is saying "I don't care if you ARE reality, you WILL do what I want you to!" "I have gone to find myself� If I get back before I return, keep me here."