The Red Mage Game

[Skyshot]

A good long while back, in the 8BT forum, there was a game that I thought looked cool. Fifthfiend approved bringing it back, so here it is.

The Rules:

Someone proposes a crisis the Light Warriors could run into. Everyone else tries to fix the situation, from the position of Red Mage.

Example crisis, taken from the old game: The Light Warriors encounter a pair of diamond golems.
One person suggested Red Mage give Fighter a helmet made of cubic zirconium (according to them, the second hardest substance) and have him use the Ram Form "breaker" maneuver. Another person suggested Red Mage would convince them both the other was a cubic zirconium golem, the natural enemy of a diamond golem, leading them both into killing each other.

We'll play it in rounds like we do in the captioning thread. The person who posts the crisis is the judge for that round, and the person with the best plan gets to pick the next crisis.

First crisis is up for grabs.

[Ex. 68471]

Okay, here goes.

The LW's are adventuring(So what else is new?) on a simple dirt road, hoping for a random encounter. Okay, so Red Mage is hoping for a random monster, Theif is hoping for random people, Fighter is hoping for some random swords, and Black Mage is hoping for some random destruction(Even though his Hadoken has already been used up for the day attempting to make some random destruction of his own.). All of a sudden, some giant hamsters block their path and steal all of Theifs gold and Fighters shineys(Yeah, that's right, no chance of running.)!!!

WHAT DO YOU DO???

[Fifthfiend]

Mod notice:

Wacko, could you please edit your signature to something that isn't like being fucked in the eye?

Kthxbye.

[Nikose Tyris]

Red Mage uses his +6 in Handle Animals and changes a stat to give him a specific bonus with Hamsters, and a SECOND bonus with giant animals to get a stacked bonus, and convince the Hamsters to return the money, as well as to act as mounts for the LW.

I'm sorry, but that was just a Terrible situation. >.< I was hoping for something a bit more... I don't even know.

[Demetrius]

First thing's first, RM would put for th that stealing from theif is impossible, therefor the act never happened, and so it follows that the hamster do not exist but are in fact dwarves... and everyone knows that the dwarves burned with their country and no longer exist. So, this means that BM spiked RM's punch while his stats were arranged to deal with combat and not intrigue and the whole situation is a halucination and the party can move on.

Convoluted unconnected logic FTW!!

[Ex. 68471]

I know it was terrible, but I wanted to start us off easy.
Also, I couldn't think of anything else. Sue me, I couldn't find the stash of coffee.
Waiting for the tonight to judge, so hang tight.

[PyrosNine]

First, due to the random nature of everything, you attempt to /load save. If that fails to work due to a flaw in reality, then you attempt to disprove the existence of so call "Giant" hamsters due to proportional issues involving too small a heart to pump blood through too big a body, blah blah blah.

If that fails, attempt to build a giant hamster wheel out of rocks, loose bits of hair, and have some sort of bait to lure the Hamsters onto it at the exact spot where they robbed the party. Caste haste upon the Hamsters as they run along it, and give them a water tube dosed with pure SPEED. Then, as they speed up, they will invariably break the smell, sound, and light barriers to the point they run along with the speed force, in essence creating a Cosmic Trea-...Hamsterwheel. At the apex of the the Cosmic Hamsterwheel's speed, you must quickly reverse the direction of the treadmill before they go into the future, sending them straight into the past.

Assuming all goes as planned, the hamsters will collide with their past selves, and be ripped from the space time continuum, making it so that they never stole your gold and shineys in the first place.

There is a slim margin of error that something could go wrong, but as long as Red Hamster, Fighter Hamster, Black Hamster, and Thief Gerbil are all alive, then you can continue upon the proverbial giant wheel of life in a quest to save all Rodent kind on the world of HamsterOaToa.

[Ex. 68471]

PyrosNine FTW.
Cosmic Trea- I mean, Hamsterwheel. Gold. Pure gold.
GET AWAY, THEIF! IT'S MINE!!!

[PyrosNine]

Alrighty. Always thought I'd make a good Red Mage.

I suppose I win, and therefore get to pick the next thing huh? (Though i don't see that in the rules as what happens to the winner.)

Alrighty.

Due to an error on the part of a mapmaker Thief stole from, the party is stuck within the "Lost Woods", a forest with finite boundaries, yet magically once you venture into it, you are trapped there forever.

If the light warriors are not out within 100 days, their flesh with be absorbed by the forest itself, and they will become living aggressive evil Skeletons doomed to remain in the forest for all time, just like the other living skeletons trying to kill them as they spend their time there.

HOW DO YOU GET OUT? (Preferably not as a skeleton.)

[TopHatAssassin]

RM makes a Listen check to hear Sara's Song, whereafter he urges the others to follow him through to the Forest Temple. After receiving the song and going in and defeating the evil Phantom Garland, they are warped out of the forest.