Dear Microsoft Support Team

[Lord Setheris]

I was logging into my messenger today when I got the following message:
"Windows Live(TM) Messenger Service Staff says:
Important service announcement: As part of a recent system enhancement, we need you to change your e-mail address to continue signing in to the Windows Live(TM) Messenger Service.

To ensure that your access is not blocked and to learn more, go to http://support.microsoft.com/gp/Messenger/en"

This was straight forward enough. The company that owns my domain wants it back and I have to switch usernames and emails.

Well, overall that wasn't too complex, was it? So I'm reading through the page of information and I want a little bit of clarification. I'd be more than happy to simply email in a question, as my need for information is not urgent.

But then I actually tried looking for help. The link on the page I was told to visit leads to a help and support line. Problem is, it does not list Windows Live Messenger in its list of products, and the only way to send an email from there is if I shell out 59 dollars to send in a help request to a business solutions professional.

So I start to look at other support, hoping I might find a way to contact support. There is no contact information listed. Anywhere. Every link that might lead to contact information for support (including the buttons that say contact us) only leads to more confusing and poorly documented and labeled links, leading me down a labyrinthian maze to pure madness.

After carefully trying to locate a way to contact you for more than an hour, I have concluded that you do not in fact actually exist, and any attempts to communicate directly will be pointless, as there is no actual support. After careful consideration I have concluded that you can find whoever reserved MY email address for themselves, and shove a large, sharply bladed object into their rectum.

My sincerest apologies on your upcoming butt trauma,
Paul Long