The funniest thing you've ever seen

katiuska · 11-04-2009, 04:55 AM

I can't decide if it still is, but for me, it used to be David Hasselhoff's Hooked on a Feeling. There's just something about the combination of washed-up 80s star, cheesy chromakey, and bizarre images... it warps so far past surreal that it becomes majestic. Specifically what always got me was the weird bug-eyed thing that hops across the screen. (What is that thing?) But everyone has a different sense of humor, and mine is admittedly kind of warped; everyone else I showed this to reacted with varying degrees of horror and confusion. I don't know, it's like how "Tyrannosaurs in F-14s" was one of my favorite C&H strips as a kid--it seems like the weirder and more retarded something is, the more likely it is to make me laugh. Of course, my brother really likes William Shatner's "Rocket Man," so maybe it's genetic.

Funka Genocide · 11-04-2009, 02:08 PM

I saw some guy get hit by a car in Japan once.

Like, I know that doesn't sound funny, but he was one of those guys that walks around in ill fitting blue jeans with a t-shirt tucked into the waste while wearing combat boots and a trench coat. Like he just walked right out in front of the car while the sign said don't walk and bam, he skidded like 10 feet. It was hilarious.

(he was fine by the way.)

Hanuman · 11-04-2009, 03:19 PM

Hanging out with several friends in a small room, combo upon combo of very witty well delivered humor around the hookah.
+ lots of adrenaline

bluestarultor · 11-05-2009, 01:30 AM

Maybe I'm self-deprecating, but I think some of the funniest things I've encountered are my own wipe-outs. Keep in mind, I have incredible balance, so even when I'm wiping out, it's pretty graceful. I think a couple of my favorites have to be thus:

- In 7th grade, my locker was down by the tech ed rooms, which, naturally, had people working with wood and such, and the school was dusty all over on a good day in the first place. Now, the tech ed rooms were sort of in a hole, which meant that there was this slope so wheelchairs could get down there. I generally was what people might consider mildly parkour before it wrecked my knees, so I was used to jumping down several stairs at a time and this slope in particular anytime I could get away with it just to get around that much faster. Well, they'd been doing some pretty shitty cleaning that day, apparently, because with the dust at the bottom combined with the fact I was wearing some old shoes with bald soles, I cleared the slope and landed, but my feet slipped out from under me cartoon-style sending my feet up and the rest of me down flat onto my back. I personally thought it was funny as hell.

- Summer a year or two after that, I was visiting my dad in Arizona. I'm not sure exactly why, but I happened to be jumping, possibly in a contest with my brother or something. I managed to jump so high that I actually got hit in the head with the ceiling fan. Since the point of me jumping had been to get the maximum amount of revolutions possible, it was pretty much as if a skater had gotten hit in the head with something in the middle of a double axle, and I ended up landing on my ass. I happen to like that one because I did manage to, I think, complete two full revolutions before I got bonked, and I never thought I could jump that high from standing, since it was a standard ceiling.

katiuska · 11-05-2009, 10:01 AM

Those are some pretty impressive pratfalls. I've managed to avoid those, mostly, though I did spill out of my dorm bed once, while reaching under it (the beds were roughly 4 feet off the ground). It happened like this:

which was kinda funny but really painful. Necks really shouldn't be bearing the brunt of your weight.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Funka Genocide

I saw some guy get hit by a car in Japan once.

Like, I know that doesn't sound funny, but he was one of those guys that walks around in ill fitting blue jeans with a t-shirt tucked into the waste while wearing combat boots and a trench coat. Like he just walked right out in front of the car while the sign said don't walk and bam, he skidded like 10 feet. It was hilarious.

(he was fine by the way.)

Maybe he thought he was Neo?

When I was in HS and stupid, I managed to cross right in front of a car and barely missed getting hit by panther-leaping into the grass. I seem to remember wearing my own trench that day, but I don't know if that's true or my brain just added that detail in after the fact to make it seem more awesome.

Also, I suspect that bug-eyed thing is some kind of vampire suit, but the face is so wrinkled and confused-looking that it just kinda looks like a senile old man.

Mirai Gen · 11-06-2009, 03:10 PM

Mine, easily, is Cool as Ice.

I remember seeing this as a little kid - back when I thought Kazaam and Mortal Kombat were worthwhile movies - and laughing hysterically.

Buddha Fett · 11-07-2009, 01:38 AM

The funniest thing I've ever seen happened to my little brother a few years back.

The bunch of us (stepdad, me, my four younger brothers) were heading back home sometime around the middle of January. In my neck of the woods, there was a shit-ton of snow by this point in the year, and the roads were getting pretty horrible.

As we turned into our neighborhood, we saw one of the elderly guys that lived near the street corner having difficulty getting his car up his ice-covered driveway. So, in a fit of neighborly goodwill, we all piled out of the van to help him push his car out of the road.

As we were heading back to the van, my youngest brother decided to try and race back so he would get first dibs on riding shotgun the rest of the way to the house. Now, our van was one of those giant people-carriers, and was sitting pretty high off the pavement, and the road was really icy.

As he ran back, he slipped on the ice, smacked into the open passenger-side door of the van, fell flat on his ass, and went sliding underneath it, shooting out the other side.

We pretty much started laughing our asses off after we had checked that he wasn't dead.

Meister · 11-07-2009, 03:43 AM

High ranking on my list is seeing two pelicans at the zoo turn the tables on a bunch of kids who were teasing one of them. There was a fountain area where the kids sat, and the pelicans were walking around in the open (not entirely sure why but I guess they can be trusted not to escape? Or come to think of it, maybe it means they can't.). The kids were so busy annoying pelican one that they failed to notice number two swimming up behind them until he went for their backpacks, whereupon they darted away because, hey, wild animal, right? They tried to shoo him away but clearly weren't bold enough to actually approach him with anywhere near the energy required, so he had more than enough time to pick out a sizable stack of homework from one of the backpacks, scatter some of it in the fountain and store the rest in his bill pouch. Then pelican one walked past with what I imagine to be a very smug expression indeed and joined his buddy for a swim.

EVILNess · 11-07-2009, 04:36 AM

Probably the funniest thing I have ever seen was a duck a chicken and a goose walk into a bar and then stare at the bar tender for a good 3 minutes, then walk out the back door and into the woods.

The only thing the bartender could say was "I've heard this joke before..."

(The bartender was my mother and the bar we were in was an American Legion club during an Easter Egg hunt. I have no clue where the chicken, duck and goose came from.)

Yrcrazypa · 11-09-2009, 01:42 AM

I work in aircraft maintenance, and there are certain things that need to be done before we turn power on in the aircraft so that we can do maintenance. Namely, making sure all of the drains are clear of any extra fuel. So, we get to the jet, check the forms, which are the things that list the condition of the aircraft, and when the drains were last checked, among many other things that aren't important/I can't tell you.

We get to the aircraft, and notice that we have to punch the drains, but we don't have the tool to do it. So, we call the truck driver, the guy who takes us from job to job around the flightline. Now, this guy is NOT a very good driver, he has a habit of dumping you somewhere, and then not coming back for a long, long time, despite you reminding him on the radio or calling him multiple times. We called him and radiod him two or three times, and still ended up waiting for fourty five minutes. Eventually, one of the people with me decides to just yell into the radio, "Drain punch" two times, the second time nearly killing everyone with laughter, and causing the Sergeant with us to say something to the effect of 'Ok, that was really funny, but don't do that again.'

Maybe it is a 'you had to be there moment,' or a 'you have to work in this career field moment,' but DAMN I haven't laughed that hard at something for a long, long time.

11-04-2009, 04:55 AM	#1
katiuska Unlicensed Practitioner Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 801	The funniest thing you've ever seen I can't decide if it still is, but for me, it used to be David Hasselhoff's Hooked on a Feeling. There's just something about the combination of washed-up 80s star, cheesy chromakey, and bizarre images... it warps so far past surreal that it becomes majestic. Specifically what always got me was the weird bug-eyed thing that hops across the screen. (What is that thing?) But everyone has a different sense of humor, and mine is admittedly kind of warped; everyone else I showed this to reacted with varying degrees of horror and confusion. I don't know, it's like how "Tyrannosaurs in F-14s" was one of my favorite C&H strips as a kid--it seems like the weirder and more retarded something is, the more likely it is to make me laugh. Of course, my brother really likes William Shatner's "Rocket Man," so maybe it's genetic. __________________ If I try too hard my brain explodes, so don't expect me to be witty on purpose. Last edited by katiuska; 11-04-2009 at 05:16 AM.

11-04-2009, 03:19 PM	#3
Hanuman Love Is Strength Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Vancouver/BC/Canada Posts: 1,135	Hanging out with several friends in a small room, combo upon combo of very witty well delivered humor around the hookah. + lots of adrenaline __________________ If you want to stay connected send me a PM with your email. Last edited by Hanuman; 11-04-2009 at 03:21 PM.

11-06-2009, 03:10 PM	#6
Mirai Gen We are Geth. Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 14,032	Mine, easily, is Cool as Ice. I remember seeing this as a little kid - back when I thought Kazaam and Mortal Kombat were worthwhile movies - and laughing hysterically. __________________

11-07-2009, 01:38 AM	#7
Buddha Fett Pretty Sweet Hat. Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Behind You Posts: 353	The funniest thing I've ever seen happened to my little brother a few years back. The bunch of us (stepdad, me, my four younger brothers) were heading back home sometime around the middle of January. In my neck of the woods, there was a shit-ton of snow by this point in the year, and the roads were getting pretty horrible. As we turned into our neighborhood, we saw one of the elderly guys that lived near the street corner having difficulty getting his car up his ice-covered driveway. So, in a fit of neighborly goodwill, we all piled out of the van to help him push his car out of the road. As we were heading back to the van, my youngest brother decided to try and race back so he would get first dibs on riding shotgun the rest of the way to the house. Now, our van was one of those giant people-carriers, and was sitting pretty high off the pavement, and the road was really icy. As he ran back, he slipped on the ice, smacked into the open passenger-side door of the van, fell flat on his ass, and went sliding underneath it, shooting out the other side. We pretty much started laughing our asses off after we had checked that he wasn't dead. __________________ "I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another when the best fruit is." -Terry Pratchett

11-09-2009, 01:42 AM	#10
Yrcrazypa Not your babies daddy Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 491	I work in aircraft maintenance, and there are certain things that need to be done before we turn power on in the aircraft so that we can do maintenance. Namely, making sure all of the drains are clear of any extra fuel. So, we get to the jet, check the forms, which are the things that list the condition of the aircraft, and when the drains were last checked, among many other things that aren't important/I can't tell you. We get to the aircraft, and notice that we have to punch the drains, but we don't have the tool to do it. So, we call the truck driver, the guy who takes us from job to job around the flightline. Now, this guy is NOT a very good driver, he has a habit of dumping you somewhere, and then not coming back for a long, long time, despite you reminding him on the radio or calling him multiple times. We called him and radiod him two or three times, and still ended up waiting for fourty five minutes. Eventually, one of the people with me decides to just yell into the radio, "Drain punch" two times, the second time nearly killing everyone with laughter, and causing the Sergeant with us to say something to the effect of 'Ok, that was really funny, but don't do that again.' Maybe it is a 'you had to be there moment,' or a 'you have to work in this career field moment,' but DAMN I haven't laughed that hard at something for a long, long time. __________________ Killer of threads.

11-04-2009, 02:08 PM	#2
Funka Genocide Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 4,566	I saw some guy get hit by a car in Japan once. Like, I know that doesn't sound funny, but he was one of those guys that walks around in ill fitting blue jeans with a t-shirt tucked into the waste while wearing combat boots and a trench coat. Like he just walked right out in front of the car while the sign said don't walk and bam, he skidded like 10 feet. It was hilarious. (he was fine by the way.)

11-07-2009, 03:43 AM	#8
Meister Pure joy Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Germany Posts: 10,689	High ranking on my list is seeing two pelicans at the zoo turn the tables on a bunch of kids who were teasing one of them. There was a fountain area where the kids sat, and the pelicans were walking around in the open (not entirely sure why but I guess they can be trusted not to escape? Or come to think of it, maybe it means they can't.). The kids were so busy annoying pelican one that they failed to notice number two swimming up behind them until he went for their backpacks, whereupon they darted away because, hey, wild animal, right? They tried to shoo him away but clearly weren't bold enough to actually approach him with anywhere near the energy required, so he had more than enough time to pick out a sizable stack of homework from one of the backpacks, scatter some of it in the fountain and store the rest in his bill pouch. Then pelican one walked past with what I imagine to be a very smug expression indeed and joined his buddy for a swim.