Bullets and Bacon: Let's Play Oregon Trail!

Bob The Mercenary · 06-01-2011, 09:03 PM

Part 1: The First Leg

And so our adventurers arrived in Independance to load up on supplies before their journey, stopping along the way to greet the commonfolk.

I know exactly what you mean...

Once rpgdemon finished arming the little ones to the teeth, he proceeded to the dry goods store and purchased 500 pounds of bacon, 50 pounds of bullets, 2 rifles, 2 shotguns, a revolver, 6 oxen, and 51 one-pound jugs of whiskey. Also all 8 available grandfather clocks, effectively hamstringing the town's ability to tell time.

With what money he had left after this spree, he bought one set of clothing for each person, raincoats, boots, hats, water canteens (empty), water jugs (also empty), assorted tools and utensils, and a deck of cards. Cholera Joe decided he wanted a couple pounds of tea and coffee to finally settle the age old dilemma of which one was the better drink. Because lord knows, if a 2000 mile ride can't settle it then nothing could.

The rest of the wagon train immediately took a liking to him.

He accepted the job offer with open arms and, with all four babies in tow, and Joe sleeping on a pile of whiskey jugs with bacon for a pillow, they set forth on their perilous gambit for the west. With a clear sky and the wind at their backs, nothing could stop th...

Oh god dammit. That wasn't even, like literally ten feet from the town.

What do we do? Do we risk life and limb this early?

mauve · 06-01-2011, 09:15 PM

Build a bridge out of the babies (or those creepy-lookin' pioneers in the "You got chosen to be the trail guide!" picture--seriously, half those guys look like they'd be trying to kill you in your sleep!) and drive across. Problem solved.

Kim · 06-01-2011, 09:17 PM

Ford it. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG

RobinStarwing · 06-01-2011, 09:22 PM

Try to find another path! Maybe run into indians!

Bob The Mercenary · 06-01-2011, 09:23 PM

THAT! THAT could go wrong!

Oh well, rpg managed to repair the wagon and we continue on our way. Further updates to come.

3 miles down, 1997 to go...

Specterbane · 06-01-2011, 09:27 PM

Cholera Joe is no Flooded Trail's bitch. He should be Fording all of these. If he can stand 4 babies screaming at him and decide between coffee or tea in 2000 miles, he can take some wet rivers/trails.

rpgdemon · 06-01-2011, 09:57 PM

Man, I'm such a useful asset.

RobinStarwing · 06-01-2011, 10:33 PM

Dang it! We went another path and all we got was this stupid broken axle rpg had to fix. >_<

Where are the Indians when we need Indians! I want death and scalps and to bury someone and put on their tombstone "RIP Here lies Idjit" right now. :p

Thadius · 06-02-2011, 01:47 AM

Armed babies. Grandfather clocks. Bacon and coffee. Whisky out the wazoo.

ARMED BABIES.

I cannot 5 this thread hard enough or fast enough. Plan on doing any more trips after this one, Bob?

Solid Snake · 06-02-2011, 07:59 AM

Placing bets on Nikose as the first to die.

06-01-2011, 09:03 PM	#1
Bob The Mercenary Bob Dole Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Bob Dole Posts: 5,606	Bullets and Bacon: Let's Play Oregon Trail! Part 1: The First Leg And so our adventurers arrived in Independance to load up on supplies before their journey, stopping along the way to greet the commonfolk. I know exactly what you mean... Once rpgdemon finished arming the little ones to the teeth, he proceeded to the dry goods store and purchased 500 pounds of bacon, 50 pounds of bullets, 2 rifles, 2 shotguns, a revolver, 6 oxen, and 51 one-pound jugs of whiskey. Also all 8 available grandfather clocks, effectively hamstringing the town's ability to tell time. With what money he had left after this spree, he bought one set of clothing for each person, raincoats, boots, hats, water canteens (empty), water jugs (also empty), assorted tools and utensils, and a deck of cards. Cholera Joe decided he wanted a couple pounds of tea and coffee to finally settle the age old dilemma of which one was the better drink. Because lord knows, if a 2000 mile ride can't settle it then nothing could. The rest of the wagon train immediately took a liking to him. He accepted the job offer with open arms and, with all four babies in tow, and Joe sleeping on a pile of whiskey jugs with bacon for a pillow, they set forth on their perilous gambit for the west. With a clear sky and the wind at their backs, nothing could stop th... Oh god dammit. That wasn't even, like literally ten feet from the town. What do we do? Do we risk life and limb this early?

06-01-2011, 09:15 PM	#2
mauve So Dreamy Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Someplace magical Posts: 6,863	Build a bridge out of the babies (or those creepy-lookin' pioneers in the "You got chosen to be the trail guide!" picture--seriously, half those guys look like they'd be trying to kill you in your sleep!) and drive across. Problem solved. __________________ Yoo Hoo!

06-01-2011, 09:22 PM	#4
RobinStarwing C.M.B.A.S.O.B Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Everywhere until you look at me. Posts: 737	Try to find another path! Maybe run into indians! __________________ *NPF's resident Crazy Magnificent Bastard Ass Son Of A Bitch (CMBASOB)* Accept No Substitutes Also known as "The Least Interesting Man in The World" according to multiple surveys

06-01-2011, 09:27 PM	#6
Specterbane Safety First Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Land of Gumdrops and Ice-cream Posts: 746	Cholera Joe is no Flooded Trail's bitch. He should be Fording all of these. If he can stand 4 babies screaming at him and decide between coffee or tea in 2000 miles, he can take some wet rivers/trails. __________________ http://www.nuklearforums.com/showpos...ostcount=10436

06-01-2011, 09:57 PM	#7
rpgdemon Not a Taco Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 3,313	Man, I'm such a useful asset. __________________ I did a lot of posting on here as a teenager, and I was pretty awful. Even after I learned, grew up, and came to be on the right side of a lot of important issues, I was still angry, abrasive, and generally increased the amount of hate in the world, in pretty unacceptable ways. On the off chance that someone is taking a trip down memory lane looking through those old threads, I wanted to devote my signature to say directly to you, I'm sorry. Thank you for letting me be better, NPF.

06-01-2011, 09:17 PM	#3
Kim adorable Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 12,950	Ford it. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG

06-01-2011, 09:23 PM	#5
Bob The Mercenary Bob Dole Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Bob Dole Posts: 5,606	THAT! THAT could go wrong! Oh well, rpg managed to repair the wagon and we continue on our way. Further updates to come. 3 miles down, 1997 to go...

06-01-2011, 10:33 PM	#8
RobinStarwing C.M.B.A.S.O.B Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Everywhere until you look at me. Posts: 737	Dang it! We went another path and all we got was this stupid broken axle rpg had to fix. >_< Where are the Indians when we need Indians! I want death and scalps and to bury someone and put on their tombstone "RIP Here lies Idjit" right now. :p __________________ *NPF's resident Crazy Magnificent Bastard Ass Son Of A Bitch (CMBASOB)* Accept No Substitutes Also known as "The Least Interesting Man in The World" according to multiple surveys

06-02-2011, 01:47 AM	#9
Thadius BEARD IMPACT Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: MANLY ANGER Posts: 1,977	Armed babies. Grandfather clocks. Bacon and coffee. Whisky out the wazoo. ARMED BABIES. I cannot 5 this thread hard enough or fast enough. Plan on doing any more trips after this one, Bob? __________________ ANGER HAS NEVER BEEN MORE MANLY THAN THIS.

06-02-2011, 07:59 AM	#10
Solid Snake Erotic Esquire Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 5,563	Placing bets on Nikose as the first to die. __________________ *WARNING:* Snek's all up in this thread. Be prepared to read massive walls of text.