How It Should Have Ended: NPF Edition

BitVyper · 06-29-2011, 09:14 PM

Post your versions of how movies/games/books/etc should have ended.

I got to thinking about Home Alone because of a Cracked article that suggested that Kevin woulda been fucked. I disagree.

I don't really remember a lot about the movie, but I figure if we're gonna be all gritty and realistic about it, it would have ended one of three ways:

A: Twenty minutes in, the thieves, having slipped on the walk that was clearly iced intentionally, and burned a hand on the doorknob, decide to move on to one of the other homes they planned to invade that Christmas.

B: Twenty five minutes in, a wrap up shows us the end result of a civil suit the thieves (under the pretense of being carollers or something) pressed against Kevin's parents for laying traps in their front yard.

C: Ten minutes in, Kevin phones the police. Movie over.

Bard The 5th LW · 06-29-2011, 09:22 PM

12 Rounds should have ended a bit after the point where Fischer destroys a whole bunch of shit with a fire truck while trying to move a bomb to the shore where he chucks it in the water. Seriously, I don't care what you say, he easily caused much more destruction than that bomb could've, and he almost killed a ton of people but it was always some bullshit "oh don't worry that old lady barely made it'" just because our dumb ass protagonist has to be the moral center no matter how many people he should have killed by now with his recklessness.

Like, I imagine they would have taken him off the investigation or whatever it was after that and probably follow up on a punishment once it was over.

Kerensky287 · 06-29-2011, 09:29 PM

Lord of the Rings should have ended with Frodo and Sam being caught by the 20-or-so orcs that Sauron stationed at the single tiny back-door entrance to Mordor that he obviously knew about.

Serenity should have ended with nobody dying and with a Season 2 in the works.

BitVyper · 06-29-2011, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Lord of the Rings should have ended with Frodo and Sam being caught by the 20-or-so orcs that Sauron stationed at the single tiny back-door entrance to Mordor that he obviously knew about.

They did get caught there. Unless you're talking about the movie, 'cause I don't remember what happened in the movie.

But it was a whole thing in the book. Sauron's head guy brought Frodo's stuff out to flaunt in front of Gandalf and try to make him surrender.

Azisien · 06-29-2011, 09:40 PM

Lord of the Rings should have ended with Sauron building a solid iron wall to block the entrance into the volcano, his one potential weak spot. And then stationing a 24/7 guard of 8 or so cave trolls.

BitVyper · 06-29-2011, 09:47 PM

And then instead of the flaming eye, he could take the form of a giant flaming trollface.

Archbio · 06-29-2011, 09:51 PM

There really is the whole thing in the book about how Sauron can't imagine someone actually wanting to destroy the ring, let alone going through with it, and he's not that far off about that.

Nevertheless, Frodo getting killed in one way or another might have improved the film.

Shyria Dracnoir · 06-29-2011, 10:04 PM

Something's always bugged me about the ending of Dragonheart. If it was so easy for Draco to pull half of his heart out and put it in the evil prince, what's preventing him from tearing it back out of the little twerp? If he wants redemption so bad, surely it'd be better served improving the kingdom alongside Bowen and Kara. Let's face it, having the last dragon in existence on their side would prevent a power struggle and Draco could pass his accumulated knowledge onto the rest of the population. And even if Einon has to be alive for all of this, lock him in a broom closet and throw away the key.

Locke cole · 06-29-2011, 10:38 PM

Another way Lord of The Rings could have ended 1 book in:

Eagles.

The SSB Intern · 06-29-2011, 11:07 PM

The Super Mario Brothers Movie: Before it ever began.

06-29-2011, 09:14 PM	#1
BitVyper History's Strongest Dilettante Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Arcadia Posts: 6,662	How It Should Have Ended: NPF Edition Post your versions of how movies/games/books/etc should have ended. I got to thinking about Home Alone because of a Cracked article that suggested that Kevin woulda been fucked. I disagree. I don't really remember a lot about the movie, but I figure if we're gonna be all gritty and realistic about it, it would have ended one of three ways: A: Twenty minutes in, the thieves, having slipped on the walk that was clearly iced intentionally, and burned a hand on the doorknob, decide to move on to one of the other homes they planned to invade that Christmas. B: Twenty five minutes in, a wrap up shows us the end result of a civil suit the thieves (under the pretense of being carollers or something) pressed against Kevin's parents for laying traps in their front yard. C: Ten minutes in, Kevin phones the police. Movie over. __________________ "There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea is asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace; we've got work to do!" Awesome art be here.

06-29-2011, 09:22 PM	#2
Bard The 5th LW Feelin' Super! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 4,191	12 Rounds should have ended a bit after the point where Fischer destroys a whole bunch of shit with a fire truck while trying to move a bomb to the shore where he chucks it in the water. Seriously, I don't care what you say, he easily caused much more destruction than that bomb could've, and he almost killed a ton of people but it was always some bullshit "oh don't worry that old lady barely made it'" just because our dumb ass protagonist has to be the moral center no matter how many people he should have killed by now with his recklessness. Like, I imagine they would have taken him off the investigation or whatever it was after that and probably follow up on a punishment once it was over. Last edited by Bard The 5th LW; 06-29-2011 at 09:31 PM.

06-29-2011, 09:47 PM	#6
BitVyper History's Strongest Dilettante Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Arcadia Posts: 6,662	And then instead of the flaming eye, he could take the form of a giant flaming trollface. __________________ "There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea is asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace; we've got work to do!" Awesome art be here.

06-29-2011, 09:51 PM	#7
Archbio Data is Turned On Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,980	There really is the whole thing in the book about how Sauron can't imagine someone actually wanting to destroy the ring, let alone going through with it, and he's not that far off about that. Nevertheless, Frodo getting killed in one way or another might have improved the film. __________________ 6201 Reasons to Support Electoral Reform. Last edited by Archbio; 06-29-2011 at 09:56 PM.

06-29-2011, 10:04 PM	#8
Shyria Dracnoir Kawaii-ju Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Monster Island Posts: 4,240	Something's always bugged me about the ending of Dragonheart. If it was so easy for Draco to pull half of his heart out and put it in the evil prince, what's preventing him from tearing it back out of the little twerp? If he wants redemption so bad, surely it'd be better served improving the kingdom alongside Bowen and Kara. Let's face it, having the last dragon in existence on their side would prevent a power struggle and Draco could pass his accumulated knowledge onto the rest of the population. And even if Einon has to be alive for all of this, lock him in a broom closet and throw away the key. __________________ Godzilla vs. Gamera (1994)

06-29-2011, 09:29 PM	#3
Kerensky287 Just That Good Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 3,426	Lord of the Rings should have ended with Frodo and Sam being caught by the 20-or-so orcs that Sauron stationed at the single tiny back-door entrance to Mordor that he obviously knew about. Serenity should have ended with nobody dying and with a Season 2 in the works.

06-29-2011, 09:40 PM	#5
Azisien wat Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,177	Lord of the Rings should have ended with Sauron building a solid iron wall to block the entrance into the volcano, his one potential weak spot. And then stationing a 24/7 guard of 8 or so cave trolls.

06-29-2011, 11:07 PM	#10
The SSB Intern We'll have to do this the hard way. Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Behind it all. Posts: 1,009	The Super Mario Brothers Movie: Before it ever began. __________________ You know who never sleeps? My gun.