How to Spot a Masturbator - Page 9

krogothwolf · 05-15-2010, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wigmund

I'd figure the cumbed would become sentient and escape. Then you'd have cumblobs going around devouring hookers, Japanese schoolgirls and who knows what else.

Cumtacle monsters?

Magus · 05-15-2010, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mondt

I saw this a while ago and I thought it was satire. Like, most of it reads like crazy people but there are sentences here and there that literally make no sense.

The article or this thread?

Mondt · 05-15-2010, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magus

The article or this thread?

....

Well, i didn't realize page 2 was done by the time I posted, but the article.

This thread is pretty out there too. XD

Rejected Again · 05-16-2010, 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krogothwolf

Cumtacle monsters?

Cum Blob (Large Evil Insider)
CR:13
Hp: 29d12+150(324)
AC: 13( +3 Natural ac) Immunity/ Piercing DR 5/magic
SR:10
Bab: 12

Attacks:As per the standard Oozes

Bukkakie(I can't spell it, and I am sure as hell not googleing it): Any Female who is engulfed withing a Cum Blob must make a dc 14 Fortitude save or instantly become permanently seduced my the Cum Blob, yielding to its every whim.

That's fucking gross man: Any Male engulfed by the Cum Blob is immediately sickened for 2d10 rounds. There is no save.

Feel free to use this to horrify anyone in your next DnD game.

Hanuman · 05-16-2010, 05:33 AM

I dabble in DMing, I'll just tweak this a little bit if you don't mind....
------------
Excretion Ooze (Large Ooze) [Face 10'x10']
[CR:10] [HD: 10d10+19 (Av. 74HP)] [BAB+4] [SPD20'] [Init+0]
[Atk: Slam 1d8+5dmg (+9Melee) Grapple +13, 5' Reach]
[AC 9 = 10 + (-1 Size)] [Fort+3, Will+3, Ref+3]
STR20 DEX10 CON15 0Int
Org: Solitary
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral

[(Ex) Blindsight20: Fight and see as well as a sighted creature withing 20ft, an excretion ooze does not need to make a listen or spot check to notice a creature in this range.]

[(Ex) Putrid Body: Any creature excretion ooze hits with open wounds must succeed a DC25 Fortitude save or be infected with Filth Fever (inc3day, 1d3dex 1d3con).
Any creature hit by excretion ooze must succeed a DC15 fortitude save or be affected by it's horrid stench and sickening the creature for 1d6 rounds.]

[(Ex) Engulf15ref: Bowl over medium or smaller creatures, the ooze can engulf as many characters as it can fit within it's covered area. Each target can EITHER make an AoO against the ooze, or attempt a DC19 reflex save, success means the winning characters are either pushed back or to the side (character's choice). An excretion ooze cannot attempt a slam in the same round as an engulf, but each engulfed character is considered both grappled and trapped, such characters take automatic slam, empty and become (nauseated FortSave22).

[(Ex) Empty: Any creature grappling with or engulfed by excretion ooze must succeed a DC20 Fort Save or be emptied of fluids, this deals 1 Con damage ((character takes dex damage equal to her current dex score if she reaches 1 constitution, at which point the excretion ooze stops dealing any con damage))and the character must then succeed a DC15 Will save or take 1d3 wisdom damage from the trauma. Any character who has been emptied gains a -1 moral bonus for the next 24 hours.]

[(Ex) Fill: Any creature who has 0 dexterity and is currently grappled by the excretion ooze is then filled and is no longer trapped nor grappled within the oozes body, any character filled in this way takes 1d6 wisdom damage and <an additional 1 permanent wisdom damage and 100xp loss (DC16 Will Save)>.
A Filled creature is considered a host (Has filth fever and is constantly nauseated), ((recovers 3 Con, not effecting Dex)), and takes 1d3 dexterity damage per day, in 6 days a tiny excretion ooze forms inside the host's body and is considered grappled and trapped, the host takes slam damage once per round, if the host dies, the excretion ooze pours out of all orifices of the host's corpse and is no longer grappled or trapped.]

Immune to: Sleep, Stun, Critical, Paralysis, Poison, Flanking, Charms, Compulsions, Patterns, Morale Effects.
------------

Amake · 05-16-2010, 06:10 AM

How about a weakness to latex and other such impregnable materials?

Hanuman · 05-16-2010, 06:21 AM

You mean rubber? Sure it's like a hazmat suit then it will block out the putrid body and the fill, but won't stop the slam, engulf or empty.

Geminex · 05-16-2010, 08:53 AM

I could totally see this as a campaign setting.

A dark pillar has appeared. Rising slowly but inorexably, pulsuating organically, until it stood tall and towered over the land. A thing of darkness, located in the wirewood forest, this dark tower brought a sense of foreboding to all who saw it. Foreboding that was soon justified, when it started spawning the dreaded Excrection Ooze, which ravaged the lands. Which hero are brave and strong enough of stomache to fight this firm, immobile, very, very erect menace?

POS Industries · 05-16-2010, 10:06 AM

Ooooooooooooooooookay, guys, I think we've long since passed the climax of this thread and it's pretty much gone flaccid at this point.

Also jesus fucking christ people there is still room in this sort of discussion for a little class. Yuck.

05-16-2010, 05:33 AM	#85
Hanuman Love Is Strength Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Vancouver/BC/Canada Posts: 1,135	I dabble in DMing, I'll just tweak this a little bit if you don't mind.... ------------ Excretion Ooze (Large Ooze) [Face 10'x10'] [CR:10] [HD: 10d10+19 (Av. 74HP)] [BAB+4] [SPD20'] [Init+0] [Atk: Slam 1d8+5dmg (+9Melee) Grapple +13, 5' Reach] [AC 9 = 10 + (-1 Size)] [Fort+3, Will+3, Ref+3] STR20 DEX10 CON15 0Int Org: Solitary Treasure: None Alignment: Neutral [(Ex) Blindsight20: Fight and see as well as a sighted creature withing 20ft, an excretion ooze does not need to make a listen or spot check to notice a creature in this range.] [(Ex) Putrid Body: Any creature excretion ooze hits with open wounds must succeed a DC25 Fortitude save or be infected with Filth Fever (inc3day, 1d3dex 1d3con). Any creature hit by excretion ooze must succeed a DC15 fortitude save or be affected by it's horrid stench and sickening the creature for 1d6 rounds.] [(Ex) Engulf15ref: Bowl over medium or smaller creatures, the ooze can engulf as many characters as it can fit within it's covered area. Each target can EITHER make an AoO against the ooze, or attempt a DC19 reflex save, success means the winning characters are either pushed back or to the side (character's choice). An excretion ooze cannot attempt a slam in the same round as an engulf, but each engulfed character is considered both grappled and trapped, such characters take automatic slam, empty and become (nauseated FortSave22). [(Ex) Empty: Any creature grappling with or engulfed by excretion ooze must succeed a DC20 Fort Save or be emptied of fluids, this deals 1 Con damage ((character takes dex damage equal to her current dex score if she reaches 1 constitution, at which point the excretion ooze stops dealing any con damage))and the character must then succeed a DC15 Will save or take 1d3 wisdom damage from the trauma. Any character who has been emptied gains a -1 moral bonus for the next 24 hours.] [(Ex) Fill: Any creature who has 0 dexterity and is currently grappled by the excretion ooze is then filled and is no longer trapped nor grappled within the oozes body, any character filled in this way takes 1d6 wisdom damage and <an additional 1 permanent wisdom damage and 100xp loss (DC16 Will Save)>. A Filled creature is considered a host (Has filth fever and is constantly nauseated), ((recovers 3 Con, not effecting Dex)), and takes 1d3 dexterity damage per day, in 6 days a tiny excretion ooze forms inside the host's body and is considered grappled and trapped, the host takes slam damage once per round, if the host dies, the excretion ooze pours out of all orifices of the host's corpse and is no longer grappled or trapped.] Immune to: Sleep, Stun, Critical, Paralysis, Poison, Flanking, Charms, Compulsions, Patterns, Morale Effects. ------------ __________________ If you want to stay connected send me a PM with your email. Last edited by Hanuman; 05-16-2010 at 06:33 AM.

05-16-2010, 06:10 AM	#86
Amake Keeper of the new Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: A place without judgment Posts: 4,506	How about a weakness to latex and other such impregnable materials? __________________ Hope insistent, trust implicit, love inherent, life immersed

05-16-2010, 06:21 AM	#87
Hanuman Love Is Strength Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Vancouver/BC/Canada Posts: 1,135	You mean rubber? Sure it's like a hazmat suit then it will block out the putrid body and the fill, but won't stop the slam, engulf or empty. __________________ If you want to stay connected send me a PM with your email.

05-16-2010, 10:06 AM	#89
POS Industries Argus Agony Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Gotta go fishing! Posts: 10,483	Ooooooooooooooooookay, guys, I think we've long since passed the climax of this thread and it's pretty much gone flaccid at this point. Also jesus fucking christ people there is still room in this sort of discussion for a little class. Yuck. __________________ Either you're dead or my watch has stopped.

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05-16-2010, 08:53 AM	#88
Geminex SOM3WH3R3 Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 4,606	I could totally see this as a campaign setting. A dark pillar has appeared. Rising slowly but inorexably, pulsuating organically, until it stood tall and towered over the land. A thing of darkness, located in the wirewood forest, this dark tower brought a sense of foreboding to all who saw it. Foreboding that was soon justified, when it started spawning the dreaded Excrection Ooze, which ravaged the lands. Which hero are brave and strong enough of stomache to fight this firm, immobile, very, very erect menace?