Cullenism: Scientology Squared!

[Corel]

Originally Posted by Krylo

Can't say I'm surprised.

"Predominantly, we're secularised as a society, and when pushed, most people will write Jedi." - Bill Bailey on the English

[Premmy]

Godwin's law in two hours/eight posts flat!

[Archbio]

The religion states that the characters are real people, Stephanie Meyer is the greatest author ever, and that the Twilight books are their Bible.

I've got nothing against non-fiction novels, but doesn't the characters being real people kind of take the focus away from the "greatest author ever" aspect? I mean it's a vampire novel aimed at teenagers, featuring a (at least superficially) novel take on vampires, so I always imaged that the praise of fans would center on how creative it's all is.

[Jagos]

Originally Posted by Melfice

At least the Sith have a straightforward goal.
Twilight fans are just... insane.

How are they different from Anne Rice fans, back in the day...?

Fuck... I just realized I can remember two vampire movements in America.

*chalks this up to the "getting old" thread*

[Kyanbu The Legend]

Okay this whole Twilight craze is getting out of hand. Good god, I fear the day when they become a threat.

Hopefully this crazy shit will blow over soon.

[Premmy]

Originally Posted by Archbio

I've got nothing against non-fiction novels, but doesn't the characters being real people kind of take the focus away from the "greatest author ever" aspect? I mean it's a vampire novel aimed at teenagers, featuring a (at least superficially) novel take on vampires, so I always imaged that the praise of fans would center on how creative it's all is.

I think even they can't call this stuff "Creative" so they rely on the "Reality is Unrealistic"* trope to justify the crappiness of the work.

*see how I referenced the trope without linking it? that's cause I'm a nice guy**
**except now you're gonna go looking for it, cause I'm a douchebag

[Dracorion]

Originally Posted by Krylo

This may be true, but the Sith are ALSO insane about their goals, and they have lightsabers and force lightning. Twilight fans have... uh... a kinda heavish book?

I'm jus' sayin' I'm pretty sure I could take the average Twilight fan in a straight fight. Sith, though? Just a tad more uncertain on that one.

Ancient weapons and hokey religions are no match for a good blaster in your hand.

Originally Posted by Archbio

I've got nothing against non-fiction novels, but doesn't the characters being real people kind of take the focus away from the "greatest author ever" aspect? I mean it's a vampire novel aimed at teenagers, featuring a (at least superficially) novel take on vampires, so I always imaged that the praise of fans would center on how creative it's all is.

No, see, Stephanie Meyer made Twilight real while writing the books. She's God, man.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Hmm, so authors have the power to warp reality now? Ok, I'm going to need a ship, an able bodied crew, couple of virgins, various sharp pointy objects, and someone who can navigate said ship to coordinates 47°9′S 126°43′W

[Madcow9000]

Originally Posted by Shyria Dracnoir

Hmm, so authors have the power to warp reality now? Ok, I'm going to need a ship, an able bodied crew, couple of virgins, various sharp pointy objects, and someone who can navigate said ship to coordinates 47°9′S 126°43′W

This is NPF. We got virgins everywhere. You can't browse a thread without tripping over at least three virgins.
Sharp pointy objects? Easily done. We're not exactly the most safety minded.
Good strong crew? If you're going to call up Cthulu I'm sure that you could magic up Smarty's beard to be at least as strong as 30 men.

[Hanuman]

Originally Posted by Nightshine

And with every religion, comes a person similar to Hitler to attack said religion.

Except, I hope Twilight-Hitler wins this time around.

Probably a Twilight-Nietzsche, the hitlers of the 2000's are mostly accidental or subconscious, example would be the anon beast.