This barista is so beautiful it's not even funny. How can I win her heart?!?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Originally Posted by Krylo

OR OR OR

Here's an idea: Walk up to her and ask for her number. If she turns you down, just smile, shrug, and move on with life. Don't use any facades, don't try to be clever or funny or 'charming'. It's not a bar or a club or whatever else, and she's not there to listen to your lame attempts to get chicks.

Thus, if you absolutely must make your move on this poor woman, just do it quick and precise with minimal awkwardness for everyone involved.

Stuttering and sounding like a nervous moron is optional.

We are trying to emotionally scar him for life. Did you not get the memo?