This barista is so beautiful it's not even funny. How can I win her heart?!? - Page 4

Solid Snake · 07-01-2010, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lumenskir

I'm roadtripping up to DC for 4th of July. Assuming this is where you still are, just PM the name of the place and an appropriate time and we can do a variation on the beach bully caper (Me: Assholish and lechy, You: Defending her honor).

Countless old teeny bopper beach movies can't be wrong.

Sadly, I'm actually in Connecticut until mid-July.

Rejected Again · 07-01-2010, 01:32 PM

Get a rag with some chloroform, make sure she passes out good. Then set the place on fire. Run out wait for a good blaze, then go in and save her. Then you can pull the hero card!

pochercoaster · 07-01-2010, 01:34 PM

HA HA HA.

This is far too familiar a situation for me, a veteran coffee pourer and barista. I have no shortage of stories of customers who piss me off, particularly ones who try to build some sort of relationship with me.

Snake, in the following rant I don't mean to say you're a creepy guy or anything. I'm just trying to provide the perspective of a barista who deals with this kind of stuff 40 hours a week. Any woman under the age of 40 who was worked in the service industry is well versed in this kind of situation... Any anger in this rant is not directed at you.

If you absolutely, positively have to ask this girl out, do it Krylo's way. There are few people I despise more than the guys who think they're charming and awesome and come up to me and try to chat me up while I'm doing my fucking work.

It puts you in this really awkward situation where you have to shrug the customer off. You can't be too rude, of course, because that's bad for business and excessive rudeness isn't necessarily warranted (unless they're downright harassing you- last week I had to deal with some fucking trucker complimenting a certain part of my body in very crude terms. I swear to fucking god I was about to put a fork in his eye), but you can't be too polite or they might think it's okay to chat you up while you're at work.

I have seen my co workers stalked. I have given out more fake names than I can imagine. I have worked at places where it was understood that certain customers would be pawned off to other employees because those customers liked to stare at one particular employee and make them extremely uncomfortable. I have had to move where I sit when I take my lunch break because one particular customer would walk up to me and lean over me and try to make small talk. I have, when I worked a third shift by myself, on rare occasion told someone to get out of my store and fuck off. I have feigned stupidity to avoid conversation with overly chatty customers.

I do not dislike 99.5% of customers, but 99.5% of them don't creep me out or try to get dates with me. Not every customer who's friendly and tries to start a relationship with someone they met at a coffee shop is a creep, but chances are this girl has dealt with a million guys attempting to flirt with her before and unless you're lucky (she's single and from her limited interaction with you as a customer she decides she likes you) she'll probably reject you, probably with some degree of politeness.

This is coming from someone who already has a boyfriend and hates humanity, though. Maybe she'll take you up on her offer. Whatever you do, don't try to talk to her while she's on her shift. That's annoying, particularly if there's a lot of work to do, or if you're near the end of your shift and tired.

Edit: Whoops, skimmed the thread, didn't notice your last post, Snake. But um... I guess you have some advice if the situation arises again.

Solid Snake · 07-01-2010, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pocheros

HA HA HA.
Snake, in the following rant I don't mean to say you're a creepy guy or anything.

It's not an entirely unreasonable assumption, so I wouldn't blame you if you did.

...But no all kidding aside (and I hope it's been clear that about ~95% of the content in this thread has been kidding, just about the only thing I'm being honest about is the fact that there was a drop-dead gorgeous barista in here and I was flabbergasted by her beauty), I have no particular interest in stalking her or anything. I'm frustrated with myself because I lack the social skills to flirt effectively (or at all), and moments like this really hammer that point home.

Quote:

Not every customer who's friendly and tries to start a relationship with someone they met at a coffee shop is a creep, but chances are this girl has dealt with a million guys attempting to flirt with her before and unless you're lucky (she's single and from her limited interaction with you as a customer she decides she likes you) she'll probably reject you, probably with some degree of politeness.

On the bright side, at least, this particular barista hasn't been one very long. She apparently just started. (I know this in part because I've frequented this coffee shop before and never seen her, but also in part because she messed up my order earlier and the manager, who had to cancel it for her, told me that she was new. Sadly said conversation did not open any avenues with the hot girl because A: I could barely speak coherently at that time, I was shocked with how beautiful she was and B: The middle-aged manager hovered behind her back through the rest of the transaction, eliminating any chance for even the slightest morsel of small talk.)

But maybe she's not completely bitter yet!

pochercoaster · 07-01-2010, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solid Snake

But maybe she's not completely bitter yet!

Make your move soon, because she will be within two weeks. Bwaha.

Professor Smarmiarty · 07-01-2010, 01:52 PM

Get a whole lot of ugly guys to ask her out first then ask her out and her standards will be shattered so she will accept.

Amake · 07-01-2010, 02:02 PM

Smarty just revolutionized the concept of picking up girls and none of us really understand it yet.

Solid Snake · 07-01-2010, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Invisible Queen

Smarty just revolutionized the concept of picking up girls and none of us really understand it yet.

For an avowed communist, Smarty sure has a cold, calculated, capitalistic view of the art of flirtation.
What's next, Smarty? Are you going to encourage us to learn the art of seduction from the works of Ayn Rand?

Brainmeats · 07-01-2010, 02:26 PM

Just don't worry about it. Ask her if she'd like to go see a movie or something random like that. The worst she can say is no.

Nikose Tyris · 07-01-2010, 02:30 PM

You're in Conneticut?

Drive the rest of the way to Toronto, I'll take you out and at least teach you how to TALK to women. :/ Get Bob to come too. It'll be awesome.

07-01-2010, 01:34 PM	#33
pochercoaster rollerpocher tycoon Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 1,808	HA HA HA. This is far too familiar a situation for me, a veteran coffee pourer and barista. I have no shortage of stories of customers who piss me off, particularly ones who try to build some sort of relationship with me. Snake, in the following rant I don't mean to say you're a creepy guy or anything. I'm just trying to provide the perspective of a barista who deals with this kind of stuff 40 hours a week. Any woman under the age of 40 who was worked in the service industry is well versed in this kind of situation... Any anger in this rant is not directed at you. If you absolutely, positively have to ask this girl out, do it Krylo's way. There are few people I despise more than the guys who think they're charming and awesome and come up to me and try to chat me up while I'm doing my fucking work. It puts you in this really awkward situation where you have to shrug the customer off. You can't be too rude, of course, because that's bad for business and excessive rudeness isn't necessarily warranted (unless they're downright harassing you- last week I had to deal with some fucking trucker complimenting a certain part of my body in very crude terms. I swear to fucking god I was about to put a fork in his eye), but you can't be too polite or they might think it's okay to chat you up while you're at work. I have seen my co workers stalked. I have given out more fake names than I can imagine. I have worked at places where it was understood that certain customers would be pawned off to other employees because those customers liked to stare at one particular employee and make them extremely uncomfortable. I have had to move where I sit when I take my lunch break because one particular customer would walk up to me and lean over me and try to make small talk. I have, when I worked a third shift by myself, on rare occasion told someone to get out of my store and fuck off. I have feigned stupidity to avoid conversation with overly chatty customers. I do not dislike 99.5% of customers, but 99.5% of them don't creep me out or try to get dates with me. Not every customer who's friendly and tries to start a relationship with someone they met at a coffee shop is a creep, but chances are this girl has dealt with a million guys attempting to flirt with her before and unless you're lucky (she's single and from her limited interaction with you as a customer she decides she likes you) she'll probably reject you, probably with some degree of politeness. This is coming from someone who already has a boyfriend and hates humanity, though. Maybe she'll take you up on her offer. Whatever you do, don't try to talk to her while she's on her shift. That's annoying, particularly if there's a lot of work to do, or if you're near the end of your shift and tired. Edit: Whoops, skimmed the thread, didn't notice your last post, Snake. But um... I guess you have some advice if the situation arises again. Last edited by pochercoaster; 07-01-2010 at 01:41 PM.

07-01-2010, 02:02 PM	#37
Amake Keeper of the new Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: A place without judgment Posts: 4,506	Smarty just revolutionized the concept of picking up girls and none of us really understand it yet. __________________ Hope insistent, trust implicit, love inherent, life immersed

07-01-2010, 02:26 PM	#39
Brainmeats Master of Sword-Chuckery Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: On the MS River Posts: 68	Just don't worry about it. Ask her if she'd like to go see a movie or something random like that. The worst she can say is no. __________________ Bees Like Honey. :fighter: Sound has color now!!! :fighter:

07-01-2010, 01:52 PM	#36
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	Get a whole lot of ugly guys to ask her out first then ask her out and her standards will be shattered so she will accept.