Corrupted Wishes

[ChaoticBrain]

Yes, I realize there's only one separating post. But it's been over 3 days, ffs.

Originally Posted by EvilEarl

I wish I had a copy of Sburb.

Granted, but it turns out to be a front for distributing the tape from the Ring. You have less than 4 days left, by the way.

I wish I owned one of these.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Granted. You are charged for slavery after owning what appears to be two young women.

I wish I stopped procrastinating.

[Geminex]

Granted. You get back to trying for the 'fastest draining of a septic tank using only a straw' world record. And you win!

I wish I had my desktop back.

[Aldurin]

granted, you get your desktop on a thumb drive, occupying the space where your computer was right before it was stolen.

I wish people could distinguish between disagreement and stupidity.

[Thadius]

Lo and behold, your wish is granted, good sir! For indeed, I can distinguish between someone disagreeing with me and someone being stupid for stupid's sake. This ability extends to my immediate and extended family as well, good sir. Sadly, though I think your wish may have had a slight taint to it, for while we may be able to, it would appear such ability has vanished from the rest of the world, leaving us the last sane people on Earth. Congratulations, fine sir, for it would appear that you've managed to make people start inane arguments faster and possibly accelerate the process of WW3 coming into reality.

Now, back on to the silly and ridiculous wishes for my own self. What of...Hmm. How about being a successful pirate? And please, leave your famed movies out of this, I do have my limits.

[KeienSlayer]

You become a very successful (and rich!) 18th century pirate. You are so rich and successful that you commandeer all of your opposition and form a huge armada of ships.

Unfortunately, because this is 2010, that leaves you no one to plunder but countries with navies. Have fun getting blown out of the water (literally).

I wish my life was interesting.

[ChaoticBrain]

Granted. You are attending your extended family reunion.

Then everyone except you is killed by snipers.

But it turns out they were government snipers, and your family was all terrorists plotting to destroy the country.

But then it turns out that your government is actually evil.

So then you storm the capitol with guns ablazing.

But it turns out everyone in the government is possessed by evil spirits.

But then the Pope arrives in his giant mecha and kills them with holy missiles.

And then the Pope asks you to join him in destroying all evil in the world.

But then the Pope dies because he missed one.

And then UFOs arrive, because the ghosts were actually aliens.

And then the aliens abduct you and do horrible things to you.

But then you break free, kill all the aliens, and steal their ship.

And then you visit the planet of hot bikini babes.

But it turns out there's a sunscreen shortage.

And without sunscreen, they turn into vampires.

So then you leave.

And then you blow up the planet.

And then galactic police come after you, because you just killed an entire race.

So then they exile you to an alternate dimension.

And here, you are exposed to the entirety of the inner workings of the universe.

You manage to absorb it all, and become a demigod.

So then you wage war against God and win.

And then you become ruler of the universe.

And then you wake up from your acid trip.


I wish I wasn't so behind on my schoolwork.

[Aldurin]

Granted, you drop out of school and have no more need to do schoolwork.

I wish I could travel by cannon.

[Specterbane]

Congrats! You're stuffed in the first ever safe cannon trip used for travel. However the only location is the moon, and you don't get a space suit, and you'll have to build your own way back if you don't want to stay there forever. But you won't be bored, they're sending you're house directly after you. You might want to consider moving right after you land.

I'm bored these days, I wish for the apocalypse to happen tomorrow.

[ChaoticBrain]

72 hours have passed. Looks like I'm up again.

Originally Posted by Specterbane

I'm bored these days, I wish for the apocalypse to happen tomorrow.

Granted, but you miss it because you sleep in. Also, you're the only surviving living thing. Also, the leftover radiation somehow turns you immortal. So, no food, no companionship, no way to die. Have fun with that.

I wish I could complete this sente