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Old 01-13-2011, 07:32 PM   #31
ChaoticBrain
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Oh right, I forgot not everyone in the U.S. speaks the superior Chicago accent. (And by the way, our pizza is also superior.)

Okay, first things first, SMB, pass a ban on all pronunciations not in line with the standard accent. Pronouncing your wh's with a gratuitous h sound is punishable by death.
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Guys what are you talking about a rainbow is a phenomenon that causes a spectrum of light to appear when the sun shines on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere

Also because god totally promised not to flood the earth anymore
which is like a guy standing outside your house with a gun promising not to shoot you with it
Except the gun is really an allegorical moral story, and you can't actually prove if there is or is not a man outside
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:37 PM   #32
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You do realise the standard accent will be my accent in which case you are all fucked.

Rumours of a sex change are greatly exaggerated
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:39 PM   #33
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(And by the way, our pizza is also superior.)
Yeah, probably.
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:43 PM   #34
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I have a question for the candidate: is it drive-through or drive-thru, and would either spelling help me stuff my face faster?
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:51 PM   #35
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Unforcunitli, wi stil tolureit suc unesisari letrz lyk "c", "q", "x", and "y", wic kud ithir bi dropd entyrli, or, ez this sentins deminstreits, kud bi riasynd tu bi yusfol wuns mor. Th' "c", for instins, kan bi yusd for "ch" sownds, and th' "y" kan bi yusd for the lang "i" vowl.

Tu bad itl nevr ketc an.
Unfortunately, we still tolerate such unnecessary letters like "c", "q", "x", and "y", which could either be dropped entirely, or, as this sentence demonstrates, could be reassigned to be useful once more. The "c", for instance, can be used for "ch" sounds, and the "y" can be used for the long "i" vowel.

Too bad it'll never catch on.
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" — bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez — tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

we all know the gag M.J. Shields aka M.J. Yilz is brilliant
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:52 PM   #36
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Cars are for primitive man-beasts. Under me you will all drive space trains, stocked with every food you could desire.
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:53 PM   #37
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But will Smarty make the trains run on time?
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Old 01-13-2011, 08:05 PM   #38
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For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" — bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez — tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

we all know the gag M.J. Shields aka M.J. Yilz is brilliant
It's weird how your modern english has many of the same sounds spanish has :P.
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Old 01-13-2011, 08:15 PM   #39
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It's weird how your modern english has many of the same sounds spanish has :P.
They're both latin based languages and have shared many words and sounds since diverging.
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Old 01-13-2011, 08:24 PM   #40
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A vote for Super Mario Bros is a vote for America!
Hold on a second.....
Isn't Mario an italian? Furthermore, isn't he an italian conceived by a japanese guy??? Where in all of that is there anything even remotely resembling something American?! WHERE??
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The only foil I've ever seen to this is in the first Power Rangers movie, where after all of the posing and flipping, they realized, "Oh, snap! They actually ran away on us!" like it wasn't the reasonable thing to do and because it'd never happened before.
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