A descent into madness- one man's journal

Professor Smarmiarty · 08-19-2011, 03:29 PM

Why did I agree on that faitful night? Where did the mirth strand me once it had flowed away?
A simple gentleman's agreement in tophat attire, we spat and we shook on terms most dire.
For Scooty Mcgee, smokes down the drain, no easy release from his lifelong pain. For scooty was born with eyes at a cross, without his cigarettes he was at a loss.
Next down the line, with a shake and a shudder, was Horace Flecks with the cows udder. Fast food was off limits to his chubby paw, no fries, no burgers would approach his maw.
The lights dimmed down, the thunder struck, what were we doing, we were pushing our luck. But we pushed on regardless and leaping up with aplomb, was Major Hickory Forth, also called Tom. He had a voice like a mouse and whiskey galore, but for himself he had the most dastardly plan instore. Carnal pleasures, he tittered, I can do that in my slee- for the next 30 days I'll have no sex no matter the girls weep.

And then the eyes turned to me, out of the darkness they peered, at old man SMB they delectably leered. I shived and I shrieked, I hide in my cowl, but they pulled me out again, with hook and with jowl.
"No booze for you" they cried- 30 days and clear, it shall be easy you have nothing to fear. But as they rubbed their hands I knew danger was close by, in their dastardly webs me they would seek to tie.

Our pack made in blood, our seperate ways we went, , who would crack first, who would repent. I do not answer to this question but the prize is most desired, mastery of the office will come to those in victory attired.

And so my tale ends, on day 1 as it begun. 30 days sober beings today, how will the time pass, how will it flow. The first hurdle already is approaching, friday night is at hand, clubs without a whiskey seem a difficult proposition. New strategies approach.
But so far feeling good.

Ecks · 08-19-2011, 03:33 PM

Doomed to failure,
a foregone conclusion.
and now away I spirit, lest
Smarty deliver me a contusion.

Professor Smarmiarty · 08-19-2011, 03:34 PM

I'm currently running off residue in my system. It's going good so far!

Magus · 08-19-2011, 05:21 PM

You made a pact, not a pack. If you're going to get off the booze you can start checking your posts for typos now. Of course, you'll probably cheat and start smoking pot or something!

Professor Smarmiarty · 08-19-2011, 05:25 PM

I don't know. It was a gentleman's agreement and I would feel conflicted about breaking the spirit of it. However I am lead to believe that gentleman do such things. I do have access to a supply of alternate highs however.

Magus · 08-19-2011, 05:38 PM

Gentlemen are always breaking the spirit of agreements in the movies to win, usually based on how it was phrased or what have you, usually in a wacky and audacious fashion.

Professor Smarmiarty · 08-19-2011, 05:43 PM

I do have a plentiful access to 100% ethanol. Currentely considering whether this would be breaking the rules. Cause I'm getting withdrawals already.

Magus · 08-19-2011, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants

I do have a plentiful access to 100% ethanol. Currentely considering whether this would be breaking the rules. Cause I'm getting withdrawals already.

Depends on the phrasing of the agreement, since "booze" would probably include not just alcoholic beverages but any sort of liquid that promotes a similar drunken effect. However if they said alcohol specifically then as long as ethanol doesn't kill you or something I see this as a fine loophole to exploit, though it does not seem particularly zany enough if you ask me.

Azisien · 08-19-2011, 08:57 PM

You are having alcohol withdrawal on the first day? Hmm, yes, perhaps you need this.

RickZarber · 08-19-2011, 06:53 PM

Win or lose, I vote for Smarty posting in verse from now on.

08-19-2011, 03:29 PM	#1
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	A descent into madness- one man's journal Why did I agree on that faitful night? Where did the mirth strand me once it had flowed away? A simple gentleman's agreement in tophat attire, we spat and we shook on terms most dire. For Scooty Mcgee, smokes down the drain, no easy release from his lifelong pain. For scooty was born with eyes at a cross, without his cigarettes he was at a loss. Next down the line, with a shake and a shudder, was Horace Flecks with the cows udder. Fast food was off limits to his chubby paw, no fries, no burgers would approach his maw. The lights dimmed down, the thunder struck, what were we doing, we were pushing our luck. But we pushed on regardless and leaping up with aplomb, was Major Hickory Forth, also called Tom. He had a voice like a mouse and whiskey galore, but for himself he had the most dastardly plan instore. Carnal pleasures, he tittered, I can do that in my slee- for the next 30 days I'll have no sex no matter the girls weep. And then the eyes turned to me, out of the darkness they peered, at old man SMB they delectably leered. I shived and I shrieked, I hide in my cowl, but they pulled me out again, with hook and with jowl. "No booze for you" they cried- 30 days and clear, it shall be easy you have nothing to fear. But as they rubbed their hands I knew danger was close by, in their dastardly webs me they would seek to tie. Our pack made in blood, our seperate ways we went, , who would crack first, who would repent. I do not answer to this question but the prize is most desired, mastery of the office will come to those in victory attired. And so my tale ends, on day 1 as it begun. 30 days sober beings today, how will the time pass, how will it flow. The first hurdle already is approaching, friday night is at hand, clubs without a whiskey seem a difficult proposition. New strategies approach. But so far feeling good.

08-19-2011, 05:21 PM	#4
Magus Archer and Armstrong vs. the World Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 7,164	You made a pact, not a pack. If you're going to get off the booze you can start checking your posts for typos now. Of course, you'll probably cheat and start smoking pot or something! __________________ The Valiant Review

08-19-2011, 05:38 PM	#6
Magus Archer and Armstrong vs. the World Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 7,164	Gentlemen are always breaking the spirit of agreements in the movies to win, usually based on how it was phrased or what have you, usually in a wacky and audacious fashion. __________________ The Valiant Review

08-19-2011, 06:53 PM	#10
RickZarber Please Be Well Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Virginia Posts: 2,715	Win or lose, I vote for Smarty posting in verse from now on. __________________ Twitter / Art Tumblr / Personal Tumblr

08-19-2011, 03:34 PM	#3
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	I'm currently running off residue in my system. It's going good so far!

08-19-2011, 05:25 PM	#5
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	I don't know. It was a gentleman's agreement and I would feel conflicted about breaking the spirit of it. However I am lead to believe that gentleman do such things. I do have access to a supply of alternate highs however.

08-19-2011, 05:43 PM	#7
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	I do have a plentiful access to 100% ethanol. Currentely considering whether this would be breaking the rules. Cause I'm getting withdrawals already.

08-19-2011, 08:57 PM	#9
Azisien wat Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,177	You are having alcohol withdrawal on the first day? Hmm, yes, perhaps you need this.