#1038: "One at my neck and the other at my groin." - Page 2

Fortune Zero · 09-16-2008, 06:06 AM

Maybe that's what traumatized Onion Orphan. Maybe Black Mage is, in fact, an extremely attractive if horrifyingly androgynous bishie-like entity. His strange odor and grotesque personality are natural defenses against being totally raped by both chicks and dudes at all times.

Selfish · 09-16-2008, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fortune Zero

Maybe that's what traumatized Onion Orphan. Maybe Black Mage is, in fact, an extremely attractive if horrifyingly androgynous bishie-like entity. His strange odor and grotesque personality are natural defenses against being totally raped by both chicks and dudes at all times.

This is the most frightening and horrifying thing that I have heard to date. This includes the times of watching the chicken like objects mate and making a nuclear fission device out of ice.

Well done. I am sufficiently creeped out for the day now.

Pip Boy · 09-16-2008, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thadius

...This raises concerns. Please, for the love of God, someone find proof in the archives that Black Mage is male! Undeniable proof!

The fact that White Mage isn't interested in him should be proof enough of that.

Fortune Zero · 09-16-2008, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Megaman FTW

The fact that White Mage isn't interested in him should be proof enough of that.

Are you suggesting that White Mage is... erm... interested in other females? O: Sexually?

Spekkio · 09-16-2008, 08:27 AM

Well, when Black Belt died, BM did say he wanted to have sex with white mage "in the butt." Then again, I suppose that can be accomplished by two females with proper ... eh ... prosthetic augmentation.

Oh yeah, there was also the crushing damage done by the infamous Goblin Punch ... but women have told me that taking a shot down there hurts them a great deal, too. The only other time BM has taken a crotch shot, his only reaction was "ARGH, my precious genitals!" or something to that effect. He didn't specifically identify the genitalia in question...

It's beyond proof. Then again, can we concretely prove that any of these cheesy 8-bit renderings is definitively male or female?

What if Red Mage, for instance, has actually been female this whole time, and part of Thief's mind game with "him" has been to trick him out of his true identity, which is, in reality, the version we think of as Transvestite Red Mage, aka Debora.

Fortune Zero · 09-16-2008, 08:39 AM

I imagine it'd be hard to trick Red Mage out of being female. After all, you can probably sneak Diplomacy bonuses out of having breasts.

And for that matter, Sleight of Hand checks.

I need to stop before I get into Perform jokes.

Moogleking · 09-16-2008, 09:27 AM

Clearly Black Mage is more disturbed that any of us expected.

This is almost as bad as "The body stays warm for 20 minutes after death, so either way I get what I want."

L_Tiger · 09-16-2008, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thadius

...This raises concerns. Please, for the love of God, someone find proof in the archives that Black Mage is male! Undeniable proof!

There's also Ytoabn's Avatar..:

Kurosen · 09-16-2008, 10:34 AM

Black Mage is a dude. I promise.

Youwantmilliondollar?! · 09-16-2008, 12:45 PM

I'm holding you to that Clevenger.

09-16-2008, 08:27 AM	#15
Spekkio Master of War Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: The End of Time, in the room with the kickin' theme music. Posts: 95	Well, when Black Belt died, BM did say he wanted to have sex with white mage "in the butt." Then again, I suppose that can be accomplished by two females with proper ... eh ... prosthetic augmentation. Oh yeah, there was also the crushing damage done by the infamous Goblin Punch ... but women have told me that taking a shot down there hurts them a great deal, too. The only other time BM has taken a crotch shot, his only reaction was "ARGH, my precious genitals!" or something to that effect. He didn't specifically identify the genitalia in question... It's beyond proof. Then again, can we concretely prove that any of these cheesy 8-bit renderings is definitively male or female? What if Red Mage, for instance, has actually been female this whole time, and part of Thief's mind game with "him" has been to trick him out of his true identity, which is, in reality, the version we think of as Transvestite Red Mage, aka Debora. Last edited by Spekkio; 09-16-2008 at 08:31 AM.

09-16-2008, 09:27 AM	#17
Moogleking King of the dancing Teddy Bears. Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Wouldn't you like to know? Or something clever. Posts: 134	Clearly Black Mage is more disturbed that any of us expected. This is almost as bad as "The body stays warm for 20 minutes after death, so either way I get what I want." __________________ Fear the Moogle. Also, why no Moogles in 8 bit theatre

09-16-2008, 06:06 AM	#11
Fortune Zero Is Big in Japan Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 175	Maybe that's what traumatized Onion Orphan. Maybe Black Mage is, in fact, an extremely attractive if horrifyingly androgynous bishie-like entity. His strange odor and grotesque personality are natural defenses against being totally raped by both chicks and dudes at all times.

09-16-2008, 08:39 AM	#16
Fortune Zero Is Big in Japan Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 175	I imagine it'd be hard to trick Red Mage out of being female. After all, you can probably sneak Diplomacy bonuses out of having breasts. And for that matter, Sleight of Hand checks. I need to stop before I get into Perform jokes.

09-16-2008, 12:45 PM	#20
Youwantmilliondollar?! There is no mistake. Only your face Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 102	I'm holding you to that Clevenger.