I will fix all of your problems for a buck v2.0

[Torque]

You heard right, friends! It's that time again! Shitty advice, and snide remarks are at their lowest prices in years! We couldn't GIVE this shit away if we tried, so instead we're selling it to you for a buck! Why a buck? Because fuck you, that's why!
Got relationship problems? We've got a solution for that!
Need to understand the existential dread that keeps you awake until all hours of the morning? Me too!
Post your problems here, and I guarantee you a solution in one post, or less! Don't believe me? ME NEITHER! Try it for yourself, and find out.
The lines are open, and operators are standing by to take your calls now!